Welcome to the Rest of Your Life

It really did read Welcome to Submission Accelerator, but I like being dramatic, sue me. Oh, scared of my feisty redheaded lawyer. You should be, that witch can turn you into mice before you can file your papers in court. Right context!

Normally, I would think that someone hacked my phone and was playing a prank. Or, I would freak out, considering I didn't express my interest in the Techno Club to anyone. But the app icon was shining brightly and the only emotion I could feel was curiosity. (Apps were something that "smartphones" back in the day used to have, don't worry if you don't get it)

Touch, and nothing happened. Well, the screen did go blank for a while which was followed by;

Thank you for getting the Trial Version of The Submission Accelerator, your one stop shop to help you meet all your deadlines. The app will be deleted on its own after the trail period is over please get the Full Version to enjoy continued service.

No catchy jingle no colorful images, nothing. All in all, pretty bland in presentation. This prank was not well crafted. While I was thinking that, the text changed;

Are you tired of being the Beta? But can't get out of your patterns, now there's a solution. Try Submission Accelerator, turning Betas into Alphas, one bitch at a time.

And it was then, when I was convinced that this was not a prank. Or maybe I was so impressed that I was willing to fool myself into thinking that this was not a prank. Whatever the reason might be, I am glad that I didn't turn away.

It seemed like the app was waiting for me to accept its legitimacy. I was quickly introduced to a disclaimer. The long and short of it was:

1) Only the recognized owner of the device could access the app and make use of its features.

2) The owner could only use the trail version for 1 month, after which all the effects of the app would be reversed and the app will delete itself. In case I could get my hands on the full version the effects would last until I kept the app on my phone.

3) All the functions of the full version will be greyed out, but it would keep teasing me about the awesome things it could do.