The ladies go to bed

We all start to get up and stretch. It’s getting late. I hope my wife isn’t too tired for sex. After the months of no sex, and all the talk tonight, I’m so fucking horny. I’ll even take a handjob.

Ross doesn’t want the night to end. He pulls out a rare bottle of bourbon. “C’mon y'all. You can’t go to bed yet.”

His wife says, “Ross, you’ve had way too much already.”

He’s insulted, “Never. I meant to open it earlier but I lost track with all the stories.”

“I’m done for the night,” Monica says. “I haven’t stayed up this long in years. I’m ready for some uninterrupted sleep.”

Looks likes it’s another day without sex with my wife…

Phoebe joins her, “The sky is already spinning for me. You fellas all have fun.”

The wives leave us and go back into the cabin.

I say, “Fuck it. Open the bottle. No sleep until it’s gone.”

“Hell yeah!” Ross screams. He points at Joey, “Don’t even think about going inside. Your wife doesn’t want your fat ass tonight.”

“C'mon. Just let me get my dick wet and I’ll be back out. I’m rock hard from all the stories tonight,” Joey says.

I push him back in his chair, “If I’m not getting laid, you aren’t either.”

He looks confused, “You aren’t getting laid? Monica sounded slutty in her story. I assume she’s a freak in bed. Especially with those curves.” He nudges me. I know he has a thing for my wife. I don’t care at the moment.

I shrug, “Let’s just say it’s been a while since she’s been a freak and I’m a little frustrated.” I look at Ross, “It must be nice getting your dick sucked all the time.”

Ross looks ashamed that his story made me jealous. He says, “My wife does suck me a lot that’s true. But the truth is that it takes me forever to get hard, so most of the time it’s just her sucking my softie.”

That’s a little weird. Just one glance from Rachel’s blue eyes gets my dick fattening. Maybe it’s just a case of familiarity. He’s around her all the time. I’m sure her allure has dampened.

Joey glances at me making sure I think it’s weird as well. He takes a drink before he asks, “Do you mind if I ask about that dream you told us about?”

“Sure. Whatever you wanna know,” Ross slurs. He’s so drunk. I can’t believe he’s able to keep taking gulps from his glass. I’m admit that I’m pretty drunk as well and shouldn’t be drinking more. I’m going to regret this decision the entire next day when I feel like shit.

Joey asks, “Have you really never done anything with another guy? I told you I had gotten my dick sucked in a threesome.”

“And I’m so jealous of that,” Ross says. “I wish Rachel would invite another guy into our bed. That would be really fun. And to answer your question: No, I’ve never done any gay shit.”

He definitely wants to though. It’s unspoken but it’s obvious.

Joey pours more bourbon into his glass and into mine. Ross quickly gulps down his glass, and holds it out for a refill. Not a good idea, but Joey fills his glass anyway. After all the shots from my list and now this, he’s on his way to swallowing charcoal.

Joey smiles at me, basically saying ‘Hey check this out!’, he turns back to Ross and says, “Have you checked out my dick?”

Ross chuckles, “Yeah dude. We showered together back at the fraternity after working out. I didn’t do it on purpose. It was just there. I’m sure you saw my dick too.”

“No. No,” Joey says. “I never looked at your dick in the shower!”

I say, “You guys lived together for like seven years. You had to have seen his dick!”

“Don’t deny it,” Ross says. “We’re all drunk and honest. No bullshit!”

“Okay! Okay!” Joey says. “I’ve seen your dick! But it wasn’t on purpose! I walked in while you were getting head from your girlfriend when we were in college.”

“How was his dick?” I ask laughing.

“Ross’s got a fucking hammer,” Joey says. “Don’t lie! You fucking saw it when he pissed by the fire. A fucking hose in his pants.”

We all crack open laughing around the fire.

Yeah. It was pretty fucking long. A flash of my friend’s dick. Enough to engrave it in my memory. I can’t imagine how big it would be hard.

I say, “I did. It should be Ross bragging about his dick all the time. Not you!”

Joey shakes his head, “Nah. Mine is way bigger. Just wait until you see it.”

“You guys are so gay talking about dicks,” Ross says. The way he looks at me though. He doesn’t want us to stop. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that look from a man. Usually I get that look from Monica before she tells me to stop teasing her and to fuck her.

Joey doesn’t change the subject though. He hits me in the shoulder. “I’ve never seen your dick though. What you hiding from us?”

“Something big if the reactions from the women in his story are any indication,” Ross says. He grins, “Even with all the shots I couldn’t miss the references to your size.”

I shrug it off, “I’m average. Women just like to boost a guy’s ego. They know what they are doing.”

Joey laughs, “I’ve met your wife. She definitely doesn’t lie just to be nice.”

“My wife does love my cock,” I say. “But that’s not the reason she loves me. I could never get a girl just my flashing my dick. Ross on the other hand…our wives almost jumped him when they saw his dick.”

“That’s bullshit dude,” Ross says. “You said a girl fucked you because she saw your dick when skinny dipping.”

Fuck. I did say that didn’t I?

Joey stands up, “Speaking of skinny dipping. I’m ready for a swim.”

He strips off his shirt revealing his thick hairy torso. He turns around and pushes down his pants, showing off his fat hairy ass. He struts away from the fire, his round cheeks jiggling.

I say, “You’re going to fucking drown! Do not go into that lake!”

He doesn’t stop. He continues to walk off into the darkness down to the scummy pond.

I look to Ross, “If he drowns, you’re giving him mouth to mouth.”

“Fine,” he replies. “Let’s just hope his fat ass can float.”

He drains the remaining of his glass. I follow. The bourbon burns it way down, letting me know it’s gonna want to come up some time soon. My best friend holds out his hand. I take it and we walk down into the woods together.