We take Ross to Paris

We help guide each other through the darkness, following the screams of pain erupting from the woods in front of us.

“Fuck! I should’ve worn shoes!” Joey’s deep voice calls back from the shadows.

“Fucking dumbass,” Ross says. He squeezes my hand. “Maybe we should let him drown.” He spins and stands in front of me, so close that the front of our thighs touch.

A huge splash erupts from in front of us. Then cries of “Oh shit! Oh shit!”

We turn and sprint to the dark pond, where Joey flails in the water. Strings of algae fling from his arms. The water comes on to his belly button. He’s in no danger of drowning.

“What the fuck!” Ross says. “We thought you were dying.”

Wiping down his arms, Joey apologizes, “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting all this shit. But the water feels great. You guys should join.”

I definitely don’t want to enter a dark pond at midnight. Especially when I’m this drunk. But unfortunately I am this drunk, and I’m easily influenced.

Ross starts taking off his clothes. Of course he does. With a body like that, it’s a waste if nobody sees it. He’s so pale like a marble statue in the moonlight. He’s David if Michelangelo gave him a horse cock instead of a shrimp dick. His body is so perfectly muscled but I can’t stop staring at his dick that swings down near his knees. He runs and cannonballs into the pond.

“C'mon Chandler. Let us see that dick,” Joey hollers.

I take off my clothes and give the disclaimer, “Anything is going to look small next to that.”

Once naked I hurry into the lake. A rock digs into the sole of my foot. My toes squish into the mud. At least Joey didn’t lie, it’s not cold.

“Three guys skinny dipping,” Joey observes. “This is sort of gay. We should’ve invited our wives.”

“I’d love to see Rachel naked,” I blurt. The **** has removed all filters. I don’t care if my friends hear. They probably agree: Rachel would look even hotter without that tight black shirt.

“Fuck me. I’d love to watch Monica strip,” Joey groans. “Her tits looked so fucking big in that hoodie tonight. Way bigger than the last time I saw her. Motherhood suits her well.”

My friend objectifies my wife. I don’t care. I’m thinking the same thing. My wife’s tits look amazing, but I’m not allowed to touch them. I can barely look at them. A reminder of how sexually frustrated I am.

Ross says, “My wife would never do it. Despite her being a blowjob slut, she’s such a prune in bed. Even though I ask nicely, she never puts a finger in my butt.”

“Maybe you should just put your own finger up your butt,” Joey jokes. “My wife loves it up the butt. She can’t get enough of anal.”

I’m picturing Phoebe in those skin tight yoga pants and start to get hard. I’d love to put in her ass.

“I’ve put her vibrator up my ass before,” Ross says. “She was away with the kids. I put a towel down on the bed, lubed it up then stuck it up my ass. I was so fucking hard. I barely had to jerk off before I came.”

We are way too drunk. This dark secret was confessed too easily.

“Whoa dude,” I say. “Have you ever told anyone that before?”

“Nah. But you guys are my best friends,” Ross says. “I know it’s safe with you. Tell me a dirty secret.”

Without considering the consequences I say, “I’ve jerked off to so many pictures of Rachel.”

There’s no backlash from Ross. Joey just laughs, “That’s nothing. I’ve jerked off to both your wives many times.”

“What’s your dark secret then?” I ask. He made my confession sound so small even though it made me feel so guilty. My friend’s wife should be sacred. I shouldn’t have such dirty thoughts.

My big friend almost sobers up as he says, “I’ve never told anyone this. I used to sneak into my older sister’s room. I’d go through her underwear drawer. I’d steal some thongs and jack off with them wrapped around my dick.”

I notice something sticking out of the water in front of Joey. Like a fat mushroom sprouting from a log.

“Holy shit,” I gasp. “Is that your hard dick?”

Joey laughs and looks at his cock sticking out of the water, “I guess it is. But don’t be confused. This erection isn’t about my sister’s underwear. I am still thinking about your wife’s fat tits and huge ass.”

Ross is focused on the big cock coming up for air. I ask him, “Have you thought about my wife the same way Joey does?”

He blinks and looks at me, “I’ll be honest. Your wife isn’t my type, but I wouldn’t mind her in doggy. I bet she can take a pounding.”

“Is that your favorite position? Doggy style?”

“Oh yeah! I love the view. The feeling. I feel in control. I love smacking and squeezing an ass while I fuck,” Ross says. His cock head pokes up from the water.

“Holy crap,” I exclaim. “You guys have such big fucking dicks. I’m not hard right now, but if I was there’s no way I would break the surface.”

“Why aren’t you hard?” Joey asks. “I thought you were super horny.”

I don’t bring up the fact that I’m naked with my three friends.

Ross steps toward me. Beneath the water his hands swims to me and grips my cock. “What do you need to get you hard? You want to hear more about my wife?”

He squeezes me. Over and over. I ask, “Would you let one of your friends fuck your wife?”

He squeezes and strokes me beneath the water. He leans forward and whispers in my ear, “Only if they fuck me first.”

He steps back smiling. “Yup Chandler is hard now.”

Unfortunately my cock doesn’t poke out from the water. I’m nowhere near as big as my friends. Joey shrugs, “We can’t all have monster cocks.”

“Being average doesn’t mean you’re small,” Ross says. Joey laughs. It’s a joke to them.

Humiliated in front of my friends. I don’t have to take this. I climb up back onto the shore. Fuck. Of course there’s no towel. I gather my clothes. I’m going to bed. Try to forget this night.

“Oh come on,” Joey calls, “we were just joking.”

Ross climbs out of the water. His strong hand grips my shoulder. “Wait for me. I’m sorry. I'll walk with you.”

I turn and my erection knocks into his. He steps back in surprise and looks down. He takes in my cock for the first time. His eyes look back up to mine. “I do owe you an apology. You definitely aren’t average.”

He reaches forward and grabs my cock hard. He squeezes me tightly. “Your girth is mythical.”

“What’s going on?” Joey asks from the water. He can’t see the handjob I’m getting.

Ross bends over. He licks up my hard cock. His lips wrap around it. I groan as he sucks my cock down. I look up at the starry sky. God it’s been too long since my cock’s been sucked. And I don’t think it’s ever been sucked this vigorously. I stare into the stars and enjoy the warm wet sucking.

I’m brought back to earth with the sound of an ass getting smacked. Ross’s teeth graze my cock in surprise. Joey lines himself up behind Ross’s bend over body.

He squeezes Ross’s bare ass. “You have such a great ass dude. I hope you don’t mind if I fuck it.”

Ross sucks up and down my cock in a nod. He grunts with his mouth full of me when Joey penetrates him.

Joey rails him from behind. I pump my cock into his mouth. Joey takes his hand off Ross’s hip and raises it into the air. I high-five him over my best friend’s bent body. We fill his holes and he’s loving it. He strokes his own cock as he gets fucked from both sides.

I lose control and come down Ross’s throat without warning. He swallows my cum greedily.

Joey arches and howls at the moon when he comes inside of Ross. He reaches below Ross and plays with his balls until Ross explodes all over the ground.

I stumble to the bank. I’m too fucking drunk. I puke until my stomach is empty, then roll onto my back to look up at the spinning sky.

Oh shit, what the fuck did we just do?