The Eluvian is acting strange.

You arrive at the gates of Skyhold where, for the moment, everything appears to be normal. The guards manning the tower release the drawbridge, its wooden frame buckling under the weight as your overburdened caravan enters the mountain fortress.

Reaching the inner courtyard, your carriage slows to a halt. As the door magically swings open, your female companions begin piling out one at a time, each girl looking even more disheveled than the last with matted hair and cum-soaked gowns. Stepping off the carriage last, you draw a deep breath and let the crisp Frostback mountain air fill your lungs for the first time in days.

"Ah, it's good to be home." you sigh, hands firmly on your hips. "Wouldn't you agree, ladies?"

"...Ladies?" you turn around only to catch the faint glimpse of Leliana, Josephine, and Vivienne as they all make their break for the bathhouse. You turn back to see Cassandra still at your side, no doubt missing her opportunity to sneak off like the others.

"Inquisitor, may I-" the Seeker begins.

"Go ahead." you dismiss her.

Your bodyguard humbly kneels, planting a quick kiss at the head of your cock before she rises back to her feet, following in her fellow cocksleeves' lead. No matter, you'll catch up with her and the others later. For now, you could use a cold mug of ale after that lengthy carriage ride.

As you saunter through the courtyard, you can't shake the feeling that something feels off.

The ordinarily bustling marketplace is empty, save for the public cum dumps locked up in the stocks and all of the returning soldiers forming a line behind them. Former Duchess Florianne remains the most popular choice, especially with the Ferelden soldiers. Currently, three men were occupying her well-fucked holes while another dozen or so eagerly await their turns.

Moving along, you reach the Herald's Rest where you finally spot a familiar face in the form of your elven companion Sera sitting atop one of the empty barrels outside the tavern entrance.

"Tossed out the tavern again, Sera?" you joke. "What did you do? Drop another jar of bees?"

"Wasps." she folds her arms. "Told'em it was a friggin accident! And only one git got stung!

"Well, did you at least apologize?" you question.

"Course I did! Don't know if he heard me though, what with all the wasp stings in his ears..."

"Y'know normally, I'd fuck your face right now," you smirk. "But I'm in a forgiving mood."

"Yeah?" Sera asks matter-of-factly, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "And why's that, Inky?"

You proceed to regale the elf with all your adventures at the Palace, including your creation of Orlais' newest dance craze and subsequent orgy. Sera seems to take special interest whenever Empress Celene's name comes up, her elven fingers slipping down the front of her plaid tights as you describe in detail all the ways you used the Orlesian monarch in her own ballroom.

"And then I said..." you stifle your laughter. "Let's all cum on the Empress!" and they did!"

"Ha!" Sera snorts, gleefully frigging herself. "Wish I coulda gotten a piece of that royal tart!"

"Maybe next time..." you offer, leaving the elf to her fantasies as you step inside the tavern.

The Herald's Rest looks exactly as you left it, which is to say, a bawdy mess. Your scantily-clad barmaids scurry back and forth serving drinks, occasionally slipping underneath the tables for the horny soldiers who flash enough coin.

"Boss!" you hear your horned friend bellow from all the way across the bar. "You're back!"

You turn to see Iron Bull seated in his typical spot. At the mention of your name, three women lift their heads from Bull's lap, peering over the table to catch a glimpse of you for themselves.

You'd almost forgotten you left Bull in charge during your absence, even transferring a portion of your throne's power over to the big guy to assist him with keeping all the women of Skyhold satisfied in your absence, an arduous task but if anyone was up to the task it'd be the Iron Bull.

"How was the Palace?" Bull inquires, pushing his pets head's down. "Did you get the...y'know?"

"See for yourself." you chuckle. With a snap of your fingers, the trio of girls teasing Bull's cock lifts their heads in unison like nugs from a hole. Suddenly, they all begin to crawl towards you on their hands and knees, giving you the same treatment they'd just been giving the Qunari.

"Whoa," Bull says, clearly impressed. "That's one hell of a trick, Boss but, uh, do you mind..."

You snap your fingers again, sending the girls crawling back to their place at Bull's grey cock.

"Thanks, Boss." the Qunari's face lights up again. "Now, how's about we get rip-roaring drunk?"

"Agreed," you nod before shouting out, "The next round of ales and blowjobs is on me, boys!"

While Krem and Dalish give you and the Bull dueling lap dances, you use your spell to covertly siphon back your power from the Qunari. As a token of thanks for taking good care of Skyhold, you leave your friend with just enough residual magic for him to have as much fun as he likes.

After several rounds of drinks and throat fucking serving wenches, you emerge from the tavern in a drunken haze. As you stumble through the court, you spot Morrigan approaching you fast.

"Morrigan!" you slur cheerfully. "Just the witch I wanted to see!"

"Inquisitor, there you are." the mage says in a relieved tone. "We have a serious problem-"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" you ask expectantly, pointing to your unattended cock.

The witch groans, rolling her eyes as she drops to her knees before you to swallow your prick.

"Ah, much better," you grin. "Now then, what's this little problem of yours, cocksleeve?

"Deeawuvian..." she mouths, struggling to form words around your rapidly-expanding girth.

"The what?" you challenge, arching an eyebrow as you hold the witch's head firmly in place.

"Ewuvian!" she repeats.

"Come again?"

The witch huffs in exasperation, pulling herself off you. Grabbing you by the spit-coated cock, she leads you out of the courtyard and up the stairs to the room where a certain relic is housed.

"Oh..." you smirk, staring at the giant mirror swirling with ancient elven energy. "...this thing."

Standing in front of the Eluvian, you observe the ancient elven artifact emitting an odd glow, the portal's emerald surface churning like waves on the Waking Sea during a violent storm.

"It's been like this for days..." the witch explains, stroking your cock with one hand while the other reaches out to touch the mirror's rippling surface. "I've done all I could to contain it..."

You sense a strange power emanating from the mirror, familiar and alien to you all at once.

"I can temporarily seal the Eluvian," Morrigan proposes. "If you'd just kindly return my staff-"

"Ha!" you cut her off with your mocking laughter. "And let you break free again? Fat chance."

"Tis the only way I can stop it!" she scowls. "Without my staff, whatever is pushing th-GLAK!"

"That's the only mage's staff I trust you with." you taunt her, pulling her face into your crotch. With your cock lodged deep in your magical advisor's throat, you waddle closer to the Eluvian. You've watched Morrigan tend to this portal countless times, it didn't look especially difficult.

Reaching out toward the mirror, you suddenly pause. Shit, how did that incantation go again?

Even with your cock buried in her throat, the witch looks up at you impatiently. You don't have any other choice than to continue, lest you look like a complete fool in front of your cocksleeve.

Twirling your fingers, you recite what you remember of Morrigan's spell in a confident voice, filling the gaps in your memory with random Elven words and other magic-sounding bullshit.

Much to your surprise, it actually works! The surface of the raging Eluvian draws perfectly still.

"See?" you smirk, peering down at your pet. "You're not the only one who... knows...how to..."

Your voice trails off as the Eluvian's surface begins to darken, growing an ominous pitch black.

"Well, shit." you mutter before the portal's surface suddenly explodes, resulting in a shockwave that sends you and the witch flying halfway across the room. Possibly anticipating your failure, Morrigan is able to react quick enough to ensure your ample midsection cushions her fall while you land on the unforgiving stone floor with a painful thud.

With a groan, you lift your head to glance back towards the Eluvian. As the dust begins to settle, you spot an imposing shadow forms on the portal's surface as if something is passing through.