Shroomkin

Consciousness returns as the end of another weekly server patch brings the world online again. You are a two-foot tall, bipedal, red-capped mushroom with pitifully stumpy limbs that can carry you along at an awkward, infantile canter. Lowest of the low, your place amidst the winding labyrinthine cave system is tasked as a literal bottom feeder. As expected of a living fungus, you aren't exactly renowned for your charm and grace. Yet dozens of your kind waddle about the dark, moldy cave floor, contentedly seeking out any scrap of organic matter to gobble down before moving on to the next meager morsel. It was as if they lived oblivious to the constant threat of adventurers.

Every day they came, and every day they smashed, slashed, and burned you and your friends. Then, after about an hour, you'd pop back up again, doomed to repeat a cycle of scraping by until your inevitable, agonizing . And what defense did the gods see fit to grant your kind? You close your eyes and your mind is filled with statistics:

Shroomkin
Lvl: 2
HP: 7
Melee Attack:
Ranged Attack: 0
Weakness: Fire
Special Abilities:
Spores - creates a cloud of toxic spores in a 5-foot radius, dealing 2 poison damage per second.

Your soft, squishy fists made little impact against armor, assuming your stunted arms even reached a target. You were far better off resorting to your Spores ability, as it could affect more targets at a constant rate, but even that had its limitations. You could only use it while standing still, not that you moved very fast anyway.

Padding at your ponderous pace, you feel the wide cap that is your head bump into something rough and craggy. You open your eyes to see you've bumped into one of the cave walls. That's strange, you wonder. Since launch day of the game you had always wandered the depths of Murkheart Caverns, and you knew every inch of the layout by heart. This was supposed to be a tunnel leading down to the underground spring. You press a spongy, three-fingered hand to the wall. It was real, all right. Perhaps the game patch changed your spawn location?

At that moment a shout and the clash of steel erupted over the quiet. Slowly craning your red cap upward, you see silhouettes battling atop a cliff about thirty feet above you.