John Unlucky

John's mouth curled into a grand grin as he wrote what was to be his ultimate fantasy, and one he wouldn't ever want to escape from.

The universe has conspired to expose my tiny penis as much as possible. Either by my fault, the fault of others, or random happenstance, my penis will be exposed, despite my best efforts to cover up. Everyone who sees it will be compelled to make fun of it and/or laugh. In fact, those in authority will punish me for being disruptive to others by humiliating me further, but never going to prison or ruining my life beyond the humiliation they bestow upon me.

John sighed as he swelled with pride. His tiny dick stood fully erect in anticipation of what was to come.

"Oh shit, I almost forgot!"

My penis becomes erect as soon as someone else sees it, and dribbles precum when I hear people laughing at it. If women somehow are aroused by what they see, they will want to flash their tits at me, if they do, it will make me instantly ejaculate. Women who still want to date me will also enjoy seeing the universe humiliate me.

John put the pencil down, hoping he would find someone who will be willing to date him despite his...complex situation.

Closing the book, he leaned back in his chair, wondering how the universe will expose him.