Dance in front of the stage (MAKE HER BEG)

You decide to show off for Rowan by joining the Bleeding Gardenias' most energetic fans, the moshers in front of the stage.

Mona has her head down over her sound board, her big headphones on and her fingers making little tweaks as the set progresses. It still feels weird that your girlfriend, your partner in pregnancy, is setting you up with her day-job boss, who's flagging DYKE in multiple obvious ways.

But your deal with Mona is that she picks your dates, or approves them, and the only ones on the list now are Karen Yoshida, a customer of the pool service you work for, and Rowan. You smile at Mona. It positively turned Mona on when you told her about giving Karen your special pool service, and Mona's fixing you up with one of her closest friends. Lately it seems like even when you get unlucky, it's in the luckiest way.

As you bounce along with the music, bumping up against the other moshers, you take every chance you get to catch Rowan's eye. You see a twinkle or two back at you before she closes her eyes, tips her head back, and belts out a chorus, the audience singing along like it was all their hearts bleeding and raw.

It's the hardest workout you've had on two feet for quite a while. A tall gal stumbles over her too-high heels and falls past you toward the floor. You catch her and make it look like a dip she did on purpose, and help her out of the mosh. It's funny, you thought all this slamming was aggro, but Mona set you straight. Now that you've been in the pit, it's like you're all sort of a reverb instrument for the band, waves passing back and forth across the dancers. Anyone who stumbles gets picked back up. One dude does something you don't quite catch, and suddenly he trips and falls backward into you. When you catch him, over his shoulder you see a spitting-mad gal with a ripped T-shirt cocking her stompy boots for a kick. Before she connects, someone grabs the guy off of you and hands him out of the pit to lean against the wall, grimacing with pain.

The music stops abruptly. The guy moans as he limps out the side door.

Mona's looking up from her sound board with a frown.

"Hey go easy!" Sochil calls out from the stage. "Guys are the weaker sex!"

There's a laugh from the crowd.

"That's right, we've got enough rep!" Rowan says.

"He grabbed my tits and wouldn't let go!" the gal with the ripped T-shirt yells out.

There's a growl from the crowd. Probably a good thing that the dude is out.

"Go easy, Gardenias," Rowan says. "Enough bleeding." She calls the next song. "Longest Night. Charlie, walk us in."

Your set-up boss for tonight, the gal who's built like a modern dancer -- or maybe a wrestler -- starts off with a slow, melancholy beat. Following Charlie's drums, Jessie folds in a wandering keyboard melody and Sochil strums slow chords. It almost sounds more blues than rock.

"Ten thouuusand steps home, it's the longest ni-ight..." Rowan begins. By the time she's halfway through the song, she has the pit swaying back and forth, singing the response lines.

Ten thousand steps home

It's the longest ni-ight

I gotta walk it all alone

It's the longest ni-ight

The longest ni-ight OF MY LIFE!

Aaaaahhhhhhh!

Rowan bows her head and holds her microphone low. Jessie and Sochil take the bridge, Jessie's keyboard looping through a riff of anger and hurt while Sochil's guitar twangs like pain itself made sound.

The Bleeding Gardenias make a quick change-out before the next song. Sochil is on bass. Rowan straps on a big rubber dick over her shorts, glowing a fluorescent orange in the black-light over the stage.

The song starts at a fast pace, and the mosh pit goes from swaying back and forth all together, back to energetic bumping and rocking to Party Is The Best ****.

Rowan belts out,

"They say to stop the ruckus,
Better do it quick,
We're gonna call the cops
I say, suck my dick!"

"Party is the best ****!" the crowd shouts back.

This is more your speed.

After a few bumping, bouncing verses, the song stops, Charlie keeping up a slow ta-tum, ta-tum, ta-tum on the drums while Sochil holds the tension with a low, thrumming riff, mixed down on Mona's soundboard to let Rowan speak clearly.

"All right Gardenias," Rowan says. "Who's gonna SUCK MY DICK?" She pumps her hips and the fluorescent orange dick wiggles a little as she thrusts into the air.

You don't know what kind of crazy you are tonight, but if that's what Rowan wants, that's what she's gonna get.

You step forward and the crowd parts. Rowan and Jessie drag you up on stage. Jessie puts her long-fingered hands on your shoulders and presses lightly, easing you into a kneeling posture. Rowan steps up and lays a hand on top of your head.

"Open up, Joe," she says into her cordless microphone.

There's a cheer from the crowd when they hear she knows your name.

Rowan pushes forward gently and fills your mouth with orange silicone dick.

"Go," Rowan stage-whispers into the mike.

"GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!" chants the crowd.

You give Mona's dykey boss the best, most enthusiastic blow job of your life -- which is to say, the only one ever. With Rowan gently rocking her hips and sighing into the microphone, and with the crowd cheering you on, you're really getting into it. Rowan hands her mike to Jessie so she can use both hands. She brings your hands up to grip the base of her orange dick, then puts her fingertips on top of your head to guide your head.

Roll +HOT(+3) to MAKE HER BEG

6 + 3 = 9, on a 7-9 she begs you for one thing.

• Finish her off. Use +HARD(+2), using FUCK HER to get her off with your fingers on stage while sucking her orange dildo.
• Meet her backstage. Use +HARD(+2) to FUCK HER as a quickie.
• Something else?

Author's note: inspired by a Tribe 8 concert in San Francisco.