Stop the Skeleton King

Minutes later, you stand before the blacksmith. As she gives Abby the quest, you can't help but wonder why all blacksmiths seem to have a Scottish accent. Where is Scotland, anyway? It's not on any of your maps.

"Our village is en grave danger, hero! Ye have ta head north ta the caves of the Dreaded Skeleton King. Here, I'll mark it on ye map. There he sits, raisin' an undead army ta conquer the world! If'n ye send him back ta the underworld and save our village, I'll reward ye handsomely. Search his chamber for an ingot of corrupted soul steel as proof of his demise," she recites the quest with well practiced precision.

"This is so exciting! Of course, I accept your quest," Abby says and then turns to you. "This is my first quest, Master!"

"And mine," you say dismally.

The location of the caves is surprisingly close. So, leaving Leia in charge, the two of you head out on horseback. Despite the seeming openness of the the surface world, these narrow, winding mountain passes remind you a lot of the restrictive caves you had to navigate through below ground.

You arrive just as the sun finishes dipping behind the mountains. The entrance is easy enough to spot as it's quite literally a giant skull opening into the mountainside. A torch blazes to either side of the gaping maw. You fetch one, tossing it to Abby, and then take the other for yourself.

Then you summon Bones and Bones Jr., who crawl up out of the earth and take the lead. Mace at the ready, Abby follows you in. It doesn't take long before you come across your first monster, a skeleton. The Boneses easily take it down with a single combined attack.

You round a corner and come to a long, straight passageway, with several rooms to explore. The first one is a smaller room with a chest at the back, guarded by a single skeleton.

"Dominate," you cast.

It dropps it's sword and stumbles back before seeming to catch its bearing.

"Dominate!" you cast again and it's yours.

Brushing past it, you lift the lid on the chest to reveal... some worn leather gloves. Not exactly epic loot. You toss them to the skeleton.

"Here. I can't bear to separate you from your treasure," you say sarcastically.

The second room is inhabited by a pair of zombies. You have your skeletons wrestle with one while you Dominate the other. Once both are under your control you look around. This room has a pair of treasure chests and a dilapidated bookshelf in it. The first chest has two gold coins and the second a healing potion.

The bookshelf is in such disrepair that it immediately crumbles into a heap of rotten wood the moment you touch it. The books themselves disintegrate into dust with the exception of but one. You lift it up out of the mess and hold it up to the light of your torch. 'Entanglement,' the cover reads. This could be very useful. It's a spell tome and as long as you keep it in your inventory, you'll be able to cast that spell.

The rest of the rooms are just as barren of epic loot as the first. You do however take the time to enslave the remainder of the undead in the area before moving on.

Around another corner and down a stairwell takes you to what looks like an ancient midieval crypt. The floors are strewn with the remnants of coffins, tore open from the inside out.

"If that's not the entrance to a boss's hideout, I don't know what is," Abby says, pointing to a set of massive, ornate iron doors on the opposite end of the crypt.

The doors sit ajar and an eerie red light can be seen glowing within. There's a creak and first one, then another skeleton squeeze out. Then comes an audible medley of rustling bones and clanking weapons. Suddenly dozens more come racing out, forcing the doors wide open as they do. Swinging axes, swords, and clubs they crash into your own undead ****.

"Dominate!" you cry, bringing one over to your side.

The crypt lights up as Abby sends a hail of eerie green fireballs at the horde. Meanwhile, your torch clatters to the ground, giving way to a Dark Orb taking form in your off hand. The Bonses are overwhelmed and defeated so you raise them again. With a deft cleave, one obliterates two more skeletons at once but is immediately overwhelmed again.

"That's it. I'm out of mana," Abby says, readying her mace.

"Entanglement!" you cast for the first time.

The ground begins to rumble and gnarled, thorny roots spring up around the skeletons' feet. Some fall and become even more entangled while others begin slicing at the thick roots with their weapons. It's a stalling tactic for sure, but a good one.

The Dark Orb continues to grow. Now the size of a basketball, it's beginning to overtax your mana regeneration just as before. The ethereal screams from within it are becoming louder and more distinct.

"Carl, have you finished coding the new update yet?" a voice that chills your bones calls out.

"Should be ready for beta testing by the end of the day," another gastly voice replies.

"Ahhhh!" you cry out and hurl the immense ball of dark energy.

It lands amongst the encumbered skeletons and explodes with such immense power that the whole of the underground shakes violently. When the ethereal smoke finally clears you fetch your torch and coax its flame back to life. Waving it about, you're astonished to see that size of the crater you've left. Everywhere you look you see broken bones, shattered weapons, rocks and other debris- all painted an unearthly white with '404' scrawled across again and again. Then it all flickers and fades from existence.

"Master... I- That was amazing!" Abby cries.

Suddenly quite winded, you lean heavily on your scepter.

"Let's just take care of this Skeleton King," you say.

The red light flickers, increasing and diminishing in intensity as you approach. Inside rests a great throne of chiselled rock, far too massive for even the largest of humans. And on it sits a skeleton, at least ten feet tall and covered head to toe in bronze armor. Atop its head rests a jeweled crown with a red orb as its centerpiece, from which the red light is emitted.

"Another hero, come to die and join my army," the Skeleton King says, placing his hand on the pommel of a great sword that leans against the side of his throne.

"I'm no hero. Much like yourself I'm a villain," you sneer and spit.

The Skeleton King seems taken aback by your statement. He leans forward and brings his other hand to his chin.

"A villain, you say. And yet you travel in such company," he says.

"She is my ****, bound by Corruptus to obey my every command," you say.

"No matter how perverse and depraved," Abby happily chimes in.

"Hmmm... I do sense the taint of the old gods upon her," the Skeleton King says more to himself than you.

He ponders this for the better part of a minute.

"And what have you come here seeking?" he finally asks.

"You have a quest item I require. An ingot of corrupted soul steel," you say.

"A villain on a quest?" he says skeptically.

"Needs must," you reply simply.

"And why would I want to give that to you," he asks.

"Lots of reasons, actually. First and foremost, you have no use for it yourself. Secondly, I haven't just defeated your minions. Surely you've noticed. I have the power of perma-****. If you fight me and loose, you won't come back," you explain.

"You think **** scares me?" he says and laughs, coughing a cloud of thick red dust into the air.

"No, but I do think oblivion does," you say and take an aggressive step forward.

You hope he doesn't call your bluff. Your mana has long since recovered and the rest of your stats are fine as well. But there is some other toll that the Dark Orb takes on you that isn't reflected in your stats. You couldn't cast another one right now if your life depended on it.

"Indeed, these old bones would like to remain in this land for a while longer. But I won't give it up for free," he says lifting his sword and slamming it back down with such **** that it splits the solid rock floor.

"And what might I offer you as compensation," you ask, readying your barter skill.

"Freedom. You know as well as I do that there's a **** that surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. And it keeps creatures like myself from leaving this wretched crypt. ...And I suspect that it once kept you as a prisoner of your own den as well. Free me and you shall have your ingot," he says.

"The way in which I was freed was unique and cannot be repeated. I know of only one other way to accomplish it, and I don't think you'll find it... agreeable," you say after a moment's thought.

"Try me," he says, leaning back on his throne.

"I would have to Dominate you. The moment you become my ****, the **** that binds you to this place will be severed forever. Besides that, you'll be able to gain XP and level up, even after I release you," you say.

"WHAT!" he yells and stands up, lifting his sword and brandishing it.

Abby immediately steps forward to protect you. But you hold your ground and your bladder, if just barely.

"I said you wouldn't find it agreeable. But it is the only way. Once we're outside the crypt, I'll release you. The ingot is all I seek. It's that simple," you say.

The sword comes crasing end first back to the ground, embedding itself in the casm it creates.

"It seems that I have **** but to trust you, fellow villain. But know that if you betray me, I will seek my ****," he says menacingly.

Due to the Skeleton King's high resistance to mind control, it actually take twenty-seven attempts to succeed. He falls to one knee, knocking his sword over. It's end gouges a bolder size chunk out of the floor. He hacks and a haze of purple dust which coats the floor beneath his dipped head. When he looks up, the orb in his crown as well as his empty eye sockets glow purple.

"It... is done... I... can feel it. The **** has been... severed," he chokes.

"Now give me the ingot so that we may take our leave of this place," you order.

Though he bumps his head and has to crawl most of the way, the Skeleton King is able to follow you out. It's the middle of the night when you step back out into the open. By the light of the full moon, you examine the ingot. It just looks like regular steel to you.

"Are you sure this is it?" you ask.

"I give you my word on the matter," he says.

"Very well. Come along," you say, dropping the hunk of metal into your inventory.

"What? No! Release me!" he screams, drawing his sword but unable to wield it against you.

"You're obviously a fierce warrior. I've use of your services," you say.

"That wasn't part of the deal! You said I'd be released once we left the cave," he says.