The hostess herself messes with Ahab.

I am mortified. An entire pool party's worth of women are ogling every inch of me, and there's nothing I can do to cover or hide my privates from their enraptured gaze. The dogs have been all but forgotten as they devour eyeful after eyeful of my abs, beet-red face, and cock.

I'm **** to call my nearby friend for help, but my overwhelming humiliation at being ogled and propositioned by these ribald women has made me lose my voice: I'm too mortified to even speak.

The bikini-clad ladies are ripping each other's tops or bottoms off in the frenzied scramble to approach my naked body, and my penis stirs discomfortingly as their bared goods jiggle before me; the only reason I'm not already covered in their grasping hands is that they're tripping over each other to grab the cameras.

Only one woman—besides Zelda, who's still ignoring the commotion in favor of reading her novella—holds herself separate from the salivating crowd: A shining example of American beauty, with Betty Page styled hair, plump 'assets' spilling out of her scanty bathing suit, and makeup applied to perfection. She is the sexy hostess of this estrogen-laden shindig, and by God does she look satisfied when her deep, brown eyes land on me from over her horny guests' heads.

Moving effortlessly past a blockade of salivating cat-callers, the hostess struts closer towards me in her skimpy bikini. Her eyes dart between my burgundy face, those horrible, adorable dogs, and well… at the prize dangling between my legs.

I feel myself scorch with embarrassment as she ogles my stiffening wiener, making no attempts to hide her ravenous leering. She sidesteps with a sway of her knockout hips to allow all girls present an unobstructed view of my nude, muscular form.

Her mouth barely suppresses a fit of giggles as the hostess kneels down next to my crotch, and faces our enraptured audience of hot, half-naked women.

Licking her cherry-red lips while grinning ear-to-ear, she wraps a bun around my cock and asks…

"Anyone want a hot dog?"