On a 7-9, it will cost you

You leave Shasta in the car round the corner from the drugstore and head over, whistling. You shake your head, wondering who'd give her a hard time for something like this.

It's a small pharmacy and variety store that still hasn't been absorbed into one of the big national chains. The tampons and the lubricant are no problem, but there's no sign of condoms in the little "personal care" section. Huh?

The clerk looks down at you over her half-glasses. "Got what you need?" she asks.

"I actually need some condoms," you say, "Do you have some here?"

"Kirk, will you help this young man out?" she calls.

A number of other heads in the store turn. You get a feeling why Shasta was happy to trade you a kiss for a run to the drugstore.

A narrow-faced old fellow in a white coat asks you what you need. "Condoms," you repeat.

He hands you over a three-pack.

"Actually I need a twelve-pack," you say. "Two of them."

He shakes his head and digs under the pharmacy counter. "Pay here." He takes your money and wraps them up in a little paper bag, leaving the box of tampons out. "Those up there."

Every eye in the store is on you as you march up to the front counter. You pay for the tampons.

"New girlfriend, hon?" the clerk teases.

You grunt and nod. After the shame parade they put you through, you're in a hurry to get out.

"You forgot your change, hon!" she says.

You're happy to be out of there. You walk three blocks down, three blocks round, and two blocks back to meet up with Shasta and your car.

"Thanks a mill, Tom," she says, smiling.

"I see why you asked me to," you say. "It was like everyone was staring at me. Clerk asked me if I had a new girlfriend. So, here you go. Let's get that beer home while it's still cold."

Shasta laughs. She leans back in the seat and points a finger forward. "Home, James!"

You pull out carefully. Shasta ducks down in the seat.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"You said they were all staring at you, and the clerk asked about your new girlfriend," Shasta said.

"You don't want to give them something to talk about?" you ask.

Shasta laughs. "Not right now."

You drive up the country road toward Mary Forbes' double-wide and park a little bit to the side.

"Hey, now that I know what I was getting into," you tell Shasta. "Can I get a bonus kiss?"

Shasta laughs.