Some doggies also love lair based structural engineering.

The talk with the core was actually quite informative, despite her distractible nature and habit of going off on tangents. Feeling slightly bad for thinking of the incessantly chatty but oddly charming being as ‘the core’ in my head, we settled the issue of picking her name.

At first, she was determined to pick something “awe inspiring” or “hellishly intimidating”, I.E, something edgy as fuck, but after a long discussion I managed to convince her to pick a standard first name, then condense all of her “super-duper-awesomeness” into her last name. The name she finally settled on was Alice Veilfire. Honestly, it could’ve been worse.

Her name settled, I then asked Alice to tell me a little about herself, curious about where she'd come from, and also wanting to know a little more about the other being who had also been trapped in the unstable core with her. The answer of “oh, her? She was some boring, long dead lesser devil.” Was not one I had been expecting.

The knowledge that the Adaptive Dungeon Core had not only plucked the soul of a lesser devil but also Alice’s soul (she had apparently been a lesser angel in life) from the afterlife to act as a potential core-mind and local guide was more than a little disconcerting.

Luckily, Alice was on hand to assure me that my “heretical desecration of the underworld” probably went by “totally unnoticed,” especially considering I’d done “the right thing and punted that stinky devil back to where she belonged.” She somehow seemed shocked when I found her words less than reassuring.

As the core-mind (essentially the entity who oversaw day to day running of the dungeon), Alice had access to all the dungeon related information she needed directly from the core. Despite her slightly peculiar nature, I was glad to have her, and I honestly told her such, letting her know that, since we were going to be spending a lot of time together, I hoped we could become friends.

She seemed happy with this, making an offhand comment that she was glad she had “access to that internet thingie from your world” so that she could “understand and relate” to me more as “one of those outworlder types.” Whilst I would’ve loved to know how that was possible, most of my focus was instead taken up by my dawning horror as I considered all the things that the innocent, happy-go-lucky core could potentially stumble upon in the darker corners of the web.

The part of me connected to my dungeon must’ve sensed my rapidly growing alarm, as a small, surreptitious pop-up opened in front of my eyes, asking me I wanted to enable safe-search for Alice, something I did immediately, without a second thought.

I thought I’d got away with it for all of about five seconds, right up until the indignant cry of “Hey!?! Where’s all the nuddy videos gone?!?” My follow-up question of “are you sure it was the devil that got punted back to the underworld?” was apparently “very rude,” “super mean,” and earned me another bop on the nose, curtesy of a second summoned newspaper with a headline reading: ‘Horrible Dungeon Lord withholds fine art from curious Core like some sort of stinky purist’.

So, on the other side of the multiverse, on an entirely new word straight out of a fantasy novel, I somehow ended up having the ‘dangers of internet porn’ talk with a relative stranger of the opposite gender, which, I can assure you, was incredibly awkward for everyone involved.

After gaining assurances from Alice that first, she was not, as I’d assumed, a little kid, and instead had been an adult angel woman before she’d fallen in combat fighting a long forgotten war, second, that she’d take everything she saw with a pinch of salt, and third, that she’d come to me if she had any questions, I reluctantly turned safe-search back off, choosing to let her make her own decisions. This, apparently, was enough to complete the first quest I’d received.

You have completed a quest!

Dungeon, sweet Dungeon.

Objective: Learn about, and set up, the Core of your new home. Interact with your Dungeon Core to start the process.

Rewards: 10 Exp, and a place to live.

Whilst I was sure setting up the dungeon core with access to internet porn wasn’t exactly what the quest had had in mind, I was happy to take the Exp points and run with them. I was also pleased to receive not one, but two new quests!

You have been offered a new quest!

This is where the (Dungeon) magic happens.

Objective: Set up your control centre in your core room.

Rewards: 20 Exp, and a way to build your Dungeon.

Accept (Y/N)

0----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0

You have been offered a new quest!

I see EVERYTHING.

Objective: Set up your overseer station in your pocket dimension.

Rewards: 20 Exp, and a way to watch goings-on in your dungeon from the comfort of your pocket dimension.

Accept (Y/N)

Seeing no reason not to, I accepted both quests. About to open my mouth to ask Alice how to go about setting up the control room, I instead paused as a wireframe diagram of a werewolf sized desk and chair appeared in front of me, the diagram moving to follow wherever I was looking whenever I turned my head.

Choosing a wall at random, I lined up the diagram where I wanted it, then thought, there. That seemed to work, as, with a muted flash of light, the desk and chair both appeared where I’d selected.

You have completed a quest!

This is where the (Dungeon) magic happens.

Objective: Set up your control centre in your core room.

Rewards: 20 Exp, and a way to build your Dungeon.

0----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0

You have been offered a new quest!

Dungeon building 101.

Objective: Use your new control centre to set up the rooms required for a Lvl 1 linear dungeon. Minimum requirements: 4 small, basic rooms (in addition to the core room) connected by basic corridors.

Rewards: 100 Exp. In addition, your maximum pool of Dungeon Points (DP) is increased by 50, and DP regen is increased by 5.

Accept (Y/N)

Accepting the new quest with a shrug, I closed the window, looking over at Alice as she said, “Oh? You’ve placed the control table? Neat! Now you can build stuff! Go have a look, and then your super-awesome assistant can talk you through it!”

Following her advice, I wandered over to the chair and tentatively took a seat, which was surprisingly comfortable despite the whole having backwards knees and a tail thing. As soon as was settled, the table lit up, projecting a floating image of the core room in pale blue light.

Hesitantly, I reached out, a wolfy grin spreading across my face as I quickly worked out how to manipulate the image, turning it this way and that. Despite being made of light, the depiction of the core room felt solid, the projected room feeling both smooth and cool to the touch.

I spent a little time marvelling at odd sensation and the novelty of holding light in my hand, only to jump as Alice’s voice sounded right in my ear. “Woo! You worked out how to turn it and stuff! Heh, by the way, I can project my voice anywhere in the dungeon. Cool, right?”

I shook my head, giving Alice’s core an exasperated glance over my shoulder. At my look, Alice giggled softly, right next to my ear again. She must not have noticed my shiver at what was essentially unexpected ASMR, because she soon continued chatting away happily, thankfully speaking from somewhere over the desk this time.

“Anyway! Building stuff is super easy, too! You see those things in the bottom left?” I took a deep breath to clear any distracting thoughts, then had a look, nodding once I saw what she was pointing me towards.

Dungeon Statistics:

Linear Dungeon Level: 0

Labyrinthine Dungeon Level: 0

Total Floors: 1

Total Rooms: 1

Available Dungeon Points (DP): 100/100

Max Dungeon Point Regeneration (DPR): 10

Current Upkeep Cost: 0

Adjusted Dungeon Point Regeneration: 10

“Okay, so everything is nice and easy! You currently have 100 Dungeon points. Dungeon Points, or DP for short, let you do stuff, like build rooms, create monsters, that sort of thing! Your DP regeneration is a measure of how many DP you regenerate in a day. At the moment it’s only 10, which isn’t very many!”

She paused briefly, then sounded a little apologetic as she continued speaking. “Unfortunately, that’s only going to get worse. The thing is, a lot of purchases aren’t one and done. Instead, they require an upkeep, which just so happens to come straight out of your Dungeon Point Regen, or DPR.”

“The best way to learn is by doing! …Probably... Definitely maybe… Anyway! That glowly button that just lit up? Give it a poke.” Searching for a moment, I quickly spotted the button in question, which was clearly labelled ‘small room’. Experimentally, I did as she asked, causing a wire-frame cube about half the size of the floating core room to appear on the surface of the table.

“Nice! See the little box next to it? That’s the point cost in DP, in this case, 10, and how much power you’ll have to commit to the room per day to keep it functional. For a small room like this, it’s one measly DPR! Go ahead and pick the cube up, attach it to the core room, then have a look at your dungeon stats again!”

Picking up the cube, I lifted it up next to the floating core room and watched in fascination as the small room clicked into place next to it, a small gap between the two. As I watched, a short, s-shaped corridor extended from the small room, connecting the two rooms together. Eagerly, I looked around the core room, searching for the new entrance, only to deflate when there wasn’t one. Why hasn’t it worked? Have I done it wrong?

Ever helpful, an exasperated sounding Alice answered my unspoken thoughts. “You haven’t confirmed it yet, dumb-dumb! You need to look at your stats first! You know, like I told you to? Jeez…” Sheepishly, I glanced over to the dungeon stats, which had, in fact, been updated.

Dungeon Statistics:

Linear Dungeon Level: 0

Labyrinthine Dungeon Level: 0

Total Floors: 1

Total Rooms: 1 (2)

Available Dungeon Points (DP): 100/100 (90/100)

Max Dungeon Point Regeneration (DPR): 10

Current Upkeep Cost: 0 (1)

Adjusted Dungeon Point Regeneration: 10 (9)

Confirm changes? (Y/N)

“See? Super-duper easy, riiiight! For now, go ahead and build a basic layout. Once you’ve done that, we can talk about dungeon monsters! In the meantime, I’ll be checking out this Netfli… studying earth culture! Holler if you need me!” Shaking my head in wry amusement, I shifted my focus back to the control table.

Poking around for other options, I was disappointed to find that, for the moment, I was limited to nothing but small rooms. With no other options or extras slowing things down, I quickly set up my dungeon layout. Four small rooms, then the core room, all placed in a line with a short stretch of s-shaped corridor connecting each room. Those corridors are probably shaped like that so any delvers can’t see through to the next room from the previous room. Clever.

Nodding in satisfaction, I mentally hit accept, turning in time to see an entranceway appear on the opposite side of the core room leading into a stretch of corridor. The quest competition notice tried to open in my field of view but, from the corner of my eye, I spotted a pop-up opening on the control table, which immediately caught my interest.

To my delight, the HUD took my interest into account, minimising the quest prompt for later study and instead bringing a copy of the pop-up from the control table.

Congratulations, your dungeon has increased to Linear Level: 1!

For increasing your Linear Level, you receive the following:

• +100 Maximum DP
• +10 Maximum DPR
• Room Blueprint: Dungeon Entrance.

Would you like to place the dungeon entrance now? This will not cost any DP or DPR.

Place Dungeon Entrance? (Y/N)

Worried about missing out on the free room, I selected yes, attaching the dungeon entrance, which looked more like a long corridor sloping upwards, to the room furthest from Alice’s core. I had just mentally hit the accept option on the dungeon control table as, in a rather distracted voice, Alice said, “Oh, almost forgot. The interface will probably offer you a connection to the surface. Don’t worry about placing… it… until… Well, shit.”

She let out a sigh before saying, “Okay, so we’re connected to the surface. Still, the chances of there being anyone around to notice are…”

WARNING, INTRUDER(S) DETECTED IN THE DUNGEON.

DUNGEON **CUSTOMISATION** HAS BEEN LOCKED UNTIL THE INTRUDER(S) HAVE LEFT OR THE THREAT HAS BEEN DEALT WITH.

CURENT INTRUDER(S): 1

“Fuck! Well, even your Level 1 everything ass should be able to deal with one measly intruder. We’ll be fiiiiine! Just go out and…”

WARNING, ADDITIONAL INTRUDER(S) DETECTED IN THE DUNGEON.

CURENT INTRUDER(S): 6

“At least it’s not raining gold pieces and high-level magic items…? Not going to do that one, too, huh? Fuck you, universe. Fuck you.” Whist Alice berated the universe at large, I was busy berating myself. I’d fucked up, big time. Shaking my head, I wondered to myself how I could make such an obviously bone-headed move.

Normal dungeon cores were immune to damage, and were only destroyed when the Dungeon Master perished, but could the same be said for Alice? I sure as hell wasn’t keen to find out. Determined, I looked towards her. “We’ll get through this, Alice. I’ve got enough Exp for a Race level, which will near enough double my stats. Let me pull up my notifications, and then… huh…”

I paused, having done just that. Expecting to see the quest notification I’d minimised earlier, I instead was met with a prompt I had not been expecting.

Achievement unlocked!

Well, that was convenient!

You were the unwitting architect of someone else’s deus ex machina. If you happen to meet the person who you just saved from a violent and ignoble end, we encourage you to claim that this was totally your plan all along! It may be worth some brownie points (which are totally still considered legal social tender on the other side of the multiverse, trust us on this)!

Rewards:

• +5 Luck
• +1000Exp
• Something tangentially related to saving people you want, but don’t know to ask for yet. Ironically, you’ll only receive this item when you ask for it. Good luck!

Wait…, what?