Loud and Clear

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Alex asked when they arrived at Clara’s house.

“Thanks, I’ll be fine, you should get home, your mom needs you.”

“I’ll call you later.” He said and kissed her goodbye.

Clara closed the door behind her, hung her coat up, and called out to her mother but got no reply. She went into the living room of their small home and found her half-dressed mother snoring in the armchair. An empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s was on the floor beside her. There was no glass though, her mother had recently taken to drinking straight from the bottle. Clara threw a blanket over her and left her where she was.

Her mother had long since stopped doing any household chores so Clara began cleaning up. She opened a window then cleared away some dirty dishes and gave the kitchen a good clean. As she threw the empty whiskey bottle in the trash she thought about the latest milestone in her mother’s drinking. At first, just after her father had left, her mother just went out with friends and got drunk. That soon became expensive though, it cost her not just a lot of money but most of her friends too. Then she took to drinking at home in the evenings. Then during the day. Now she’d dropped all pretenses and drunk straight from the bottle no matter the time of day. Not that her mother was ever aware of what time or even what day it was.

While she ran the vacuum around the house some part of Clara wanted her mother to wake up, to cause a scene and have a blazing argument with her. But even the noise of the vacuum nudging at her feet didn’t wake her from her slumber. All she ever got from her mother was a drunken silence accented with a few grunts and moans and the odd wave of a hand. She was thankful that her mother wasn’t an abusive drunk but there were times when the long ****-induced silences were almost worse than screaming anger. At least that would have shown some sort of feeling and emotion. Anything would have been better than the tormenting emptiness. As quick as it came though she banished that thought to the back of her mind, she knew that things could be a lot worse.

“YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR ALL I KNEW.”

“Mom, please, enough. I’m fine.”

“But how was I to know that? You didn’t answer your phone. Why? Why do you treat me like this?”

“Mom, please, enough. I’m sorry, okay?”

“No. No it is not okay. It’s far from okay.”

His mother had waited for his sister to go out before she unleashed on Alex.

“That’s it,” she said, slamming her hand on the kitchen table. “You’re not seeing that girl anymore. Do hear me? I forbid it, you’re not to see Clara again.”

“What? Mom, even for you that’s crazy.” Alex tried to keep his tone light, but in the face of his mother’s anger it was getting hard to keep his cool.

“Crazy am I? Huh! See, that’s her talking. She’s turning you against me, she’s trying to take you away from me.”

“Mom, stop it. Clara’s just a friend.”

“She’s just a drunken slut like her mother.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“You want the truth? Don’t make me laugh mother.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…” He checked himself, took a deep breath, and said, “Look, mom, you need help. You need to see someone, you need therapy.”

“Did she tell you to say that? It doesn’t matter, you’re not seeing her anymore now anyway.”

“You can’t stop me seeing Clara.”

“I’m your mother, if I say you are not seeing her anymore then that is what is going to happen. Do you understand?”

“Fuck this.” He said and walked towards his bedroom, his mother following close behind.

“Don’t you swear at me, and don’t walk away from me…”

“I’ve had enough of this shit.” He slammed his door behind him.

Normally his mother respected his privacy, but she came into the room after him.

“Alex don’t you dare speak to me like…what are you doing?” She said, confused as to why her son was rummaging through his closet.

“I’m looking for my bag, the one I use for my sports gear.”

His mother looked perplexed, “It’s under your bed. Why do you want your bag?”

“I’m leaving.”

“You’ve only just got here! Oh, I see…you’re going to see her again, aren’t you?”

When he didn’t answer she just carried on, “I’ve told you, you can’t see her. I forbid it.”

“You can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Forbid me from seeing her.”

“Yes, I can.” She said, and placed her hands on her hips for good measure.

He laughed, “How? How will you enforce this new rule of yours?”

“This is my house, and while you live under my roof you’ll respect my wishes. Do you understand?”

“See mom, I knew you were going to say that. That’s why I need my bag, I’m leaving. I’m moving out.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“What does that…”

“Mom…read my lips. I. AM. LEAVING.”

“I…you…okay. Perhaps I was a little harsh. Can we talk about this?”

“NO.”

“Alex, come on, you can’t leave, you’re the man of the house now.” She said, forcing a smile.

“Fuck you. I’ve had enough of your guilt trips. What’s next, let me see, oh yeah, ‘your dad would not be pleased to with you’ followed by that old classic ‘your brother wouldn’t have behaved like this’. How am I doing?”

“That’s not funny.”

“Mom, I have no life, nothing. All I do is sit around the house pandering to your freakish moods. I’m sorry dad died. I'm sorry Josh died. But I’m still alive, I have a life to lead and I’m not going to waste it sitting around here all day listening to you panic.”

“If you leave you can never come back. Ever. Do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear.”