Keep the armor

Just think about it! What's the most powerful active **** in the world? Players! Now who commands the players, and tells them what to kill? The Quest Givers! If you weren't skilled or strong enough to take out your Orc Boss, then you could always convince a player to do you dirty work for you.

So you just stand there, little goblin body glued to the spot by a giant suit of armor you're unwilling to let go. Out in the opening you're a sitting duck, this was the dumbest idea you've ever had, which is saying something considering you're a goblin. You once tried to lick peanut butter off a porcupine.

It took only fifteen minutes for your little experiment to come together. Just as you're staring to get bored and considering leaving the armor after all there's a rumbling from the brush. Not long after a young man in chain-mail wielding a sword pops out of the bushes. "A goblin! Awesome, easy experience!" He cheered, and strolled towards you with an intent to kill.

Your knees knock together, but you hold your ground. Quests givers don't move no matter how much danger they were in, they're freaks like that. The player stalks towards you, his sword gleaming in the sun. "A-Ahoy Ad-ad-ad-adventurer." Your quaking lips barely get the words out, but it's enough to make the player stop in his tracks.

"Huh?"

"The goblins of this forest need your help to free them from the tyranny of the vile Orc Kigrak.." You flail your arms and gesticulate wildly as you speak, hopefully confusing him.

"A goblin quest giver? I've never heard of this before." The young man stroks his chin. "This must be a rare quest! Little Goblin friend, how can I be of service?"

Your ears droop with relief, he fell for it! "You have to slay the orc Kigrak leader of the goblins!" You command with a smile.

"An Orc? Nice." He swings his sword through the air a few times, and with each stroke you can feel your heart skip a beat. "I'll chop this chump up no problem! What's my reward?"

"Reward?" You look at him confused. "Oh! Oh right, Reward of course. Grimbelgut has uuuuuuh, a suit of plate armor for you." Even to your greedy goblin ears that sounded like a fair trade. Once Kigrak was dead command of the tribe was yours, guaranteed. That's worth way more than something you couldn't use and couldn't even move with.

"Awesome! I so lucked out by finding this quest, plate is so expensive. Okay Grimbelgut I accept your quest."

"Great! Kigrak is that, way go kill him!" You couldn't help but notice that as soon as the player accepts your mission he turns around and goes in the opposite direction. "Hey! Hey!" You run after him. Or you would if you could move. "Where are you going?"

He pops his head back through the bushes. "What's up?"

"Where are you going Kigrak is that way!"

"I have to drop off my loot from this run, and grab some potions, I'll be right back." With that he vanishes into the forest and leaves you alone, once more.

"Wait, wait, Waaaaait!" No luck. Looks like you're going to have to wait even longer out in the open, in the middle of the forest, filled with predators, and carrying an insanely expensive item for these parts.

What could go wrong?