Introduction: Jake tells his friends

Jake stepped into the cluster, his hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee. The air was thick with the smell of stale coffee and burnt toast, and the fluorescent lights buzzed overhead. The cluster was a small, cramped space with three desks crammed together in a corner of the office. Jake's desk was in the middle, with Dave's desk on his left and Erica's desk on his right.

Dave was a 40-something man with a receding hairline and a paunch. He was married with two kids, and he seemed to be going through the motions at work. He was always the first one to leave, and he never seemed to be interested in anything that was going on.

Erica was a tall, wiry woman with short brown hair. She was single, and always the first one to complain about something. She was smart and talented, but she was also cynical and jaded. She had been working at the ad agency for a few years, and she had seen it all. She had seen people come and go, and she had seen projects succeed and fail. She had seen the best and the worst of human nature, and she had learned to keep her expectations low.

Jake was the youngest of the three, and he was the only one who seemed to be genuinely happy to be at work. He was always eager to help out, and he was always up for a conversation.

"Hey, guys," Jake whispered.

"Yeah?" said Dave. "What's up?" He wasn't entirely paying attention to Jake, nor was he paying that much attention to work. He lived at a plateau of about 60% effort on everything.

Jake took a sip of his coffee and set it down on his desk. "Nothing. Just another thrilling day here in corporate jail."

Erica snickered. "This place is so dull." In contrast to Dave, Erica worked quickly, though erratically. She didn't like her job, but she got along okay with Dave and Jake. "I could seriously undo this company in two days if I wanted to. Just a couple clicks of a mouse, and everything would fall apart." Erica often threatened an aura of anarchy, but she never went through with any of it.

Jake exhaled, but then turned back to the others. "You know Abbie in PR?"

"Sure," said Erica. "Who doesn't know Abbie? She's like the nicest woman in the world." Erica even sounded irritated describing Abbie in a positive way.

"Yeah," said Jake. "I know." He paused. "Have you ever asked her anything and had her say no?"

Dave paused and looked up. He took a while to speak, and maybe even to register what the topic of conversation was. "Who, Abbie?"

"Yeah. Abbie. We're talking about Abbie." Jake rolled his eyes at Erica hoping to elicit a smile, but failed.

"Abbie Andrews?" Dave asked.

"Yes, Dave. Abbie Andrews." Jake was getting annoyed. "Have you ever heard her say no to anything?"

Dave was still struggling with the concept. "You mean like, asked her to do something for work and she didn't have time or was too busy or something?"

"No," said Jake. "I mean asked her for something and she literally just wouldn't do it. Have you ever heard her be disagreeable to a request?"

"Well, there --" Erica began. "Wait, no. That wasn't her."

Dave tried. "I'm sure she must have -- back when ..." he trailed off.

Jake continued. "Right. And I just had the weirdest encounter with her. I kind of felt this urge to ask her something so absurd that she'd have to say no. So I asked her to do some jumping jacks."

"Weird, but not insane," said Erica.

"Right, clearly not weird enough. So then I asked her to dump her coffee on the floor. Which she did. And to mop it up. Which she did."

"Maybe she just thought you were pranking, and wanted to test your limits?" said Dave.

"Maybe." Jake got quiet. "Then I asked her to give me a blowjob."

Erica gasped. "You what?!" Smiling for the first time in ages, Erica leaned in toward Jake. "Are you serious? That could be, like, a serious HR thing." Erica started to get excited, though more about the idea of a scandal in the office than about whether or not Jake got lucky with Abbie.

Dave waved a hand at Erica to quiet her, and then turned to Jake and smiled. "Did she?" he said.

"No," said Jake.

"Aha, there it is," said Erica, the smile fading from her face.

"No," continued Jake. "She was about to, and I stopped her."

Erica cocked her head to the side. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, she was like, 'okay, I'll do it,' and then I stopped her." Jake paused and looked off into the distance, not at anything in particular. "It was weird."

"She was probably pranking you, dude." Dave went back to typing. "I'm sure she wasn't about to give you a blowjob at work."

Jake shook his head. "I don't know, man. It seemed like she was."

Erica smirked. "You know, if you want a blowjob, you just have to ask."

"That's what she said! That's literally what she said!" Then Jake got quieter, and leaned over to Erica. "Wait, are you telling me to ask you?"

She pushed him away. "No, you dumbass. I'm not giving you a fucking pat on the back, let alone a blowjob."

Jake sat in his chair and stared at his computer screen. Was he imagining things? Was he completely misreading Abbie?