Goblin King!

"I want to be a Goblin King." You announce the next morning. Pet seems a little tired yet from all the celebrating you did last night, but she looks up from cooking breakfast at the campfire with an excited expression. "Alright, Master! You can do it!" You're vaguely suspicious, as she doesn't usually express this much interest in your clever plans. You say as much. "Well..." She answers somewhat reluctantly, "You're always disappointed in me when I'm confused about your plans. You'll say 'and then... mustard!' and laugh, but then get kind of depressed when I don't get it. So I've decided to support you no matter what!"

At least she is trying. You feel a little self-conscious about the mustard idea. It had sounded a lot better in your head! Still, things are getting off-topic. "Well, this one is pretty simple! There's a Goblin village a little ways away. I'm going to take over and get crowned King. Then I'll have a lot of Goblins between me and adventurers. We can raid some settlements and be a really big deal!" You continue to point out good points of the plan all the way there, with Pet nodding sagely along in an approving manner. You've got a really good feeling about this!

The walls of the village are a stockade made of large tree trunks sunk into the ground, sharpened at the top, bound together with rope, and decorated with all kinds of fierce Goblin art. It makes your chest swell with pride. There is a small gaggle of guards at the gates playing some kind of game of chance with a pile of fish bones. You're intrigued, but... no! You can't afford to get distracted by fun games right now! Instead... "I'm here to challenge your boss!" You announce grandly, posing with your spear and armor displayed to great effect. Behind you, Pet holds up a stretched section of hide with a large red 'Goblin King' symbol to serve as an appropriate background. Gasps and 'Oooh's' show that you've had the desired effect, and shortly you have been hurried to the center of the village where a fighting pit has been laid out in stone blocks. You wait a few minutes preening for the audience until the challenged Goblin Boss shows up, still buckling his beetle-shell armor around his admittedly well-muscled frame. He's almost as big as you are!

He folds his arms across his chest and sneers expressively. "You're the one that thinks you can challenge me? I'm the boss here, so what I say goes. We'll settle this the Right Way! Now, pick your second and we'll begin!" You turn to point to Pet, naturally. However, something faint is ringing warning bells in your memory, and Pet's expression is one of horror rather than support. Right! The Right Way! You fall flat on your face as the Goblin Bosses club whistles through where your head used to be. He's sneaky, you'll give him that. You roll out of the way of his follow-up strike but take a boot to the ribs for your trouble. You regain your feet, but have to hunch over in a crouch as your side is killing you and breathing is difficult. You hold your spear out defensively, but the Goblin Boss has paused to perform for the crowd.

Suddenly, a cold feminine laugh cuts through the hooting and cheering from the gathered goblins. Standing on one of the rooftops overlooking the center of the village is a remarkable woman, hand resting casually on her hip. She has glossy, raven-black hair held back from her beautiful face by a slim gold band set with a large and obviously magical blue stone that matches her sapphire eyes perfectly. Her gracefully-tapered elven ears are pierced with multiple studs and rings. She wears a black leather halter top/corset that ends just below her C-cup breasts while emphasizing her assets boldly. The leather is accented with purple highlights that spell out softly-glowing magical runes. Her low-riding leather pants continue the color trend while clinging so tightly to her athletic legs and juicy ass that there isn't a single wrinkle. Thigh-high boots that fit loosely at the top and end with high heels of all things complete her outfit. She holds a nasty-looking forward-curving dagger casually in her other hand, and her expression is coldly murderous.

"Hello, Sister." She addresses Pet, reminding you dimly that she had said something about a dangerous sister when you first captured her in the swamp. "Oh, heya Isabel!" Pet answers, visibly nervous despite **** cheer. "You found me, huh?"

“As if there was any doubt!” The black-haired beauty answered boastfully, flicking her hair out of her face with a graceful motion of her hand. “Just because you block my messages and set your privacy settings to keep me out means nothing to someone of my talents! And what are you doing here anyway? Its almost like you’re hanging out with these Goblins… What about my potions? You were supposed to be helping me!”

“Its not like I wanted to…” Pet mumbles. “But various things happened and I’m with Master now. Besides, you wouldn’t need those potions if you hadn’t taunted the Trickster God after winning that riddle contest. Even for you, wagging your ass at him was a bit much!”

“He deserved it!” Isabel roars immediately, obviously feeling defensive about something. “He called me fat, and… wait, Master? Did you get a kinky boyfriend or something? And why does he have you out here with a bunch of Goblins? You can’t mean…” Her blue eyes narrow suspiciously as she sweeps the crowd with her gaze, settling on you and your current/former rival. “Yep!” Pet chirps happily, obviously. She points a finger at you without any hesitation. “Master is pretty kinky, and devious. We’re having lots of sex! Sometimes even in the butt!” Her blatant admission is net with murmurs of approval from the gathered Goblins and a squawk of indignant rage from Isabel “You..! With a Goblin!? I won’t stand for this! You’re coming with me!”

Pet gets an obstinate look on her face and draws her saber defensively. “I don’t want to fight with you, but I’m staying with Master!” The various Goblins sense blood and/or captives and begin drawing their crude weapons and leering at the woman on the rooftop now that the surprise of the absurd conversation has begun to wear off. Isabel doesn’t even look a little bit intimidated. Instead, she holds out her hand and begins chanting a spell! It sounds like a difficult incantation, but she works through it effortlessly while magical glyphs and runes circle her in an impressive display of arcane might. Being no fool, you immediately begin to run away, even as the rank-and-file Goblins begin to surge toward the woman. Your wisdom is borne out as a thick **** fog of venomous green gas settles over the village, sending most of the others to their knees. You vault one as he goes down clasping his throat and foaming at the mouth, holding your breath as long as you can. Fortunately, you’re already at the edge of the cloud and quickly duck into an alley between two hovels. Natural Goblin Guile kicks in, and you sneak a peek to see what the scary lady is doing.

You see her finish another spell, and suddenly there are two of her on the roof. “Simulacrum, find the Goblin with the spear and kill him.” The original orders, before dropping off of the roof to square off against Pet. The copy nods, her expression dull, and begins to leap across the roof tops toward you. Just then, the Village Boss dives around the same corner, almost piling right into you! Obviously he’s come to a similar conclusion to you and decided to wait things out. However, he’s probably paid less attention to what’s going on… “I surrender!” You quickly state, holding your spear out in front of you horizontally, palms up. You’re the Boss! You get the best loot as long as you don’t kill me, ok?” He seems very suspicious of your sudden change of mind, but flinches as an explosion sends more Goblins flying and on fire past your hiding spot. Not having time to figure out your treachery and being sensibly greedy, he snatches the spear out of your hands and starts to beat you with the butt end. “Damn right I’m the Boss! Look what you’ve done to my village! Damn Adventurers! I’m gonna…!” You never find out what he is gonna do, because Isabel’s kukri blossoms from the front of his chest as she appears behind him with absolutely no warning and incredible brutality. You realize that she must be dual-classed as a Mage/Rogue!