Go toward the settlement

Alex ponders the question before nodding toward the rising columns of smoke. “Since it is getting late, we might as well head that way; we may be able to find food and accommodations.”

Roderick nods his approval. “Good thinking, my boy. You’ll get more than your fill of sleeping next to a campfire and eating whatever the countryside offers. One of the first lessons of being a knight is to take advantage of every opportunity for comfort, because they are few and far between.”

The two men point their horses toward the settlement, and Roderick breathes in a deep lungful of air and exclaims, “My word, but this is a glorious day! It puts me in mind of my first day as a squire. I was apprenticed to Sir Chiswick of Macklebain. Now there was a fine knight, you can be sure! I got a proper education from him and wouldn’t be the man I am today without him.”

It is hard for Alex to think of Roderick as a young man, like himself. He tries to picture a younger Roderick learning how to fight with a sword, how to scale a stone wall while wearing a suit of armor, and how to shoot a bird out of the air in mid-flight with an arrow — all skills that had to be mastered before one could progress from squire to knight.

“Yes, my boy, what an education, indeed! Why, that first week alone, I experienced my first orgy, learned how to sneak out of town when pursued by an angry father, and found out that a salve made from the juices of the whipplecone berry will cure even the most foul rash you might pick up from sticking your pecker in a well-poked, 2-florin whore!” He laughs and slaps his knee at the memory.

Alex looks long and hard at his new master. He can’t quite tell whether Roderick is serious or if he is just yanking him, trying to get Alex to lighten up.

“Yessir, Sir Chiswick was quite the mentor. He made me into the man I am today. Why, I was just thinking of him the other day when I was in Blockleford, his hometown.” Roderick’s eyes get a far-away look as he reminisces. “Chiswick took me there early on in my service to him. I met the most delectable sweet thing you can imagine. I wasn’t nearly as wise to the ways of the world as I am today, mind you, but even then, I knew that having her would be a fine thing, indeed. I managed to charm my way into her bed, and we spent much of those days in Blockleford with her legs wrapped around me.”

Alex squirms uncomfortably in his saddle, wondering if there was a point to the story, other than to remind Alex of just how inexperienced he is.

“And then we were off on our next quest, and nearly twenty years passed until I made it back to Blockleford. I had only just arrived in town, I came across another young lass, just as beautiful and with the same inviting breasts that just seemed to scream out to me from across the town square. I introduced myself to her. One thing led to another, and the next thing you know, we’re back at her house, and we’re banging her bed against the wall like a screen door during a thunderstorm! Oh... What an energetic lay she was!”

Alex casts a look at his master and sees dreamy look on his face as he replays the experience in his mind. Suddenly, the look on the knight’s face transforms from bliss to amusement. He says, “And after we had exhausted ourselves, and I held her supple young body against my own, she started to tell me how much this reminded her of her mother’s stories about her own father. She said her mother had fallen in love with a young squire who was passing through town with his master. Her mother fell in love with the squire and became pregnant by him. She explained how the young man went off on a quest, promising to return, but her mother never heard from him again. They could only conclude he had been killed while attempting to slay a dragon.”

Roderick looks at Alex to see if the young man comprehends the meaning of the story. “So you see, boy... In all likelihood, I had just had my balls drained by my own daughter! As much as I learned from Chiswick, he never thought to tell me why we never returned to the same town where undisclosed offspring might surprise us.”

Alex stares, open-mouthed at the knight. “Your own daughter?” he asks, incredulously.

“So it would seem. Of course, I didn’t stick around to inquire about it further. I explained that I felt compelled to set off at once on a quest to find the fate of her father, and that I would return to Blockleford, either with her father or news of his fate. Then I got the hell out of there before running the risk of running into her mother!”

Alex is spared further recounts of Roderick’s early days as a squire as the men arrive at the source of the smoke. As suspected, it is a small community. A number of houses and shops are scattered in the small valley. As the men draw closer, the people out on the streets stop whatever they are doing and look at them with expressions of curiosity and wariness.

“I don’t think they’re used to strangers,” says Alex.

“Not uncommon in remote places like this,” responds the knight. “Most of the time I can put them at ease by telling them who I am. Once in a while we’ll find ourselves among people who are sympathetic to the Resistance, though, and it can be a bit dangerous to be associated with the Crown. These look like friendly enough people, though, wouldn’t you say?”