Drown her

"What?" You ask the imp in surprise.

"Fuck you!" Sephora yelled, very unladylike.

"There's no way either of us are going to be able to kill her without some help."

"Okay...." You weren't exactly sure what he was telling you.

"You don't get it do you?" The imp asked, jaw slightly slack

"..."

"As long as we get a hit in, it doesn't matter if she's killed by environmental damage. Got it now?"

"I think so." You sniff, a little put off at the imp's condescension, but also paying close attention to Sephora, who was trying, and failing, to stealthily crawl away like an inch worm.

You walked up and stood on the girl's back. The only thing you had going for you was the fact that you outweighed her by a good deal and she had the strength stat to match her arcane class. It was physics that stopped her, not stat points. Well... technically some stat points, but... whatever.

"We can talk more on the way. Her and her friends stayed near an underground lake earlier, it shouldn't be too far."

Drowning her sounded a lot simpler than it actually was. Neither you, or the imp were really capable of dragging the girl, much less so when she struggled.

"Fuck!" The imp finally exclaimed, "Can you just sit still and accept your ****!"

"No." Sephora assumed a blank look and a dull tone and stared at the Imp.

"You know what? I've got an idea." The imp nodded at you, then summoned up his guitar, which at some point he must have unsummoned, probably when he summoned his dick to fuck her with, then a evil grin spread across his face, only to be replaced by a concerned look right after.

"What's the matter?"

"We're not on the same team."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, what I'm saying is if I play a song it'll affect you too."

"That didn't stop you before." You huffed, narrowing your eye's at the lesser imp

"Yeah, ha ha, sorry about – I mean – I played a song that inflicted silence. It's not like you have any spell's right?" The imp argued.

"And the lullaby...?" You pointed out coldly.

"Um... give me a second" The imp paced back and forth, scratching his chin, "You're a higher level then me and sweet cheeks here was dazed so you had the best resistance out of all of us." The imp dropped a fist into his open palm as the epiphany hit.

"Nice try." You console the imp, who started looking crestfallen, "So how are we going to fix that?" You seriously hope he had an idea, but so far every time you got your hopes up he smashed them to pieces.

"Right. Let's party up."

"Huh?"

"Oh great, I wasn't just beaten by some alt's I was beaten by complete noobs." Sephora groaned in anguish underneath your hooves.

"Just...just tap 'yes'" The tiny imp placed a hand to his forehead while stabbing at the air with his free hand. During the imps flailing a glowing square appeared out of thin air in front of his face.

You were about to ask him what he was doing when a similar square burst into existence in front of your face. You took a few steps back, and off of your hostage, but the square only got so far before it began to follow you. It took you a few seconds to orient yourself to what was happening, but eventually you looked closer at the square, there was text on it.

*You have been invited to join Melkar's party, do you accept?*

Yes.---------No.

You were confused to say the least. How was a party going to help thing's? What the hell was this square? How the hell did you know how to read? Was this guy's name seriously Melkar?

Despite all these questions, you shoved your nose at the 'yes.' At first nothing happened, but just as you were starting to pull back you felt a slightly warm feeling, then, the square flashed out of existence.

You blinked a few times, once again disoriented at the suddenness of it all. Once you regained your composure you could see the little imp, Melkar, smiling up at you, guitar in hand, and his name, floating above his head in green letters.

"You ready? Uh...Sheep?" Melkar snorted a little as he squinted above your head, likely seeing your name like you were seeing his.

"I guess...Melkar." You added his name hesitantly.

Without any further interruptions, Melkar nodded at you confidently then started playing a sorrowful melody, that honestly didn't sound like it should've come from his axe guitar.

"God damn it! Piece of shit!" Sephora started to struggle underneath you with all her might, except 'all her might' seemed to be getting weaker by the second. The song seemed to be sapping her strength.

Once Sephora's struggling seemed to dip as far as it would go, Melkar switched his song, becoming incredibly up beat and fast paced. You started to feel invigorated, and far more confident, but that didn't seem to be everything.

Melkar leaped into action, rushing Sephora, crawling under her, and heaving her upper body off the ground with ease, her struggles while animated, achieved next to nothing. With an incredible jump, even more incredible given he was dragging up a woman over twenty time's his size with the jump, Melkar made it up to your ribs and latched on to your woolly side with one hand, the other gripping some of Sephora's robe, her head and shoulders making it onto your back,

"Little help!" Melkar grunted out urgently.

You picked up on the urgency quickly, and started to clumsily sidestep into a wall, bracing Sephora's against is and preventing her from slipping off.

With Sephora secured, Melkar let her go and scaled onto your back, then quickly got to work, playing both songs in succession, pulling her up a little more, rinse and repeat. Soon enough the job was done.

Sephora was dealt with, so Melkar placed himself somewhere on the middle of your back and played his sad song softly, and said,

"Go through that hole her friend's made."

You could only sigh, picked up your bag of "loot" in your mouth, and took a couple weak, wobbly steps towards the hole in the wall.

"Fuck you're slow." Sephora gave up her fruitless struggles to instead taunt you.

"Well no shit! I'm a level five critter for fuck sake!" You hissed around the bag in your mouth, "You've probably got more strength than me. Fatty."

Sephora was really set off by your parting insult, but you tuned her out.

"Fuck!" Melkar yelled, and it wasn't the crude 'sentence enhancer' kind, it was filled with anguish and horror.

"What!" You shouted back in a panic.

"You really are a critter."

"Don't scare me like that." You grunted, sighing in relief."And your stat's... a level one hero is stronger than you."

"Yeah! Critter!" You repeated somewhat angry at being reminded, but something struck you as odd, "How do you know my stats?" You craned your neck around and you were just barely able to make out Melkar sitting on Sephora's back with another glowing square in front of his face.

"Control P."

"What?"

"Even I'm starting to believe he's actually a critter." Sephora droned in a monotone, and blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

"What else would I be?"

"A hardcore RPer." Melkar answered.

"What?"

"Role Player."

"...What?"

"You're playing pretend!" Sephora shouted at you, she seemed angrier about your ignorance than her predicament, which was as weird as her priorities when you '****' her.

"At the risk of repeating myself–"

"We're in the lawless world." Melkar added, as if that was some how going to make thing's less_ _confusing.

You just cleared your throat in an exaggerated manner.

"Ultra realistic." Sephora tried to explain.

"Anything goes!" Melkar added, like they were trying to sell you something. "Attracts Rper's like flies to shit!"

"Oh...yeah...that." You just wanted them to stop, they weren't helping.

"Oh my god. Either he's a very special man, or or a very good troll." Sephora muttered. "I swear...."

"I hear that." Melkar tutted, while still playing his song.

They were acting pretty chummy now. Seriously?

"We're in the lawless world right now." Melkar tried backing up and explaining.

"The operative word being 'the'" Sephora added.

"Okay..."You sighed, conversation during what was sure to be a long walk could be okay...at least that's what you tried to assure yourself as your head started to pound in confusion.