Dahlia bugs you about it

Getting any work done today is hard, not the least of which because you’re consistently hard and distracted by sexual thoughts. Your cubicle is on the direct route for the bathrooms so the majority of the office walks past multiple times a day. The cubicle has a half wall facing that hallway so it is difficult not to engage in people watching.

It is decidedly odd to watch Lara, an attractive slender brunette, get groped by Vince, a very overweight man like twenty years her senior as they stop to talk about some accounting issue. Then a steady parade of three more guys pass, greeting them both and helping themselves to a brief fondle of Laura’s tits through her black sweater. Lara even jokingly comments about Mark’s erection and that she’s surprised he could get it up. Given that the perpetually limping Dispatch manager liked to rib everybody about anything, he takes it good naturedly but you are still really weirded about it.

Recognizing that you aren’t going to really get any work done under these conditions, you use the computer at your desk to google common American greeting customs. The websites just have the things you’d expect about handshakes and the expectation that ‘How’s it going?’ is not an invitation to really explain anything in any detail. But then you check out Wikipedia. And there it is. A section devoted to the custom of fondling a woman’s chest. There isn’t a lot here and it looks a bit rushed. You check the timestamp for the edit to this page and you sit back in your chair and stare.

This was edited about forty-five minutes ago. Well, that is interesting. You got the rings about an hour and a half ago. Now you remember saying something to Mary about wishing girls didn’t get upset about accidental touching in the chest area thanks to your mishap when running into her. A magic wishing ring?

You say, “I wish for a slice of pizza to appear on my desk.”

Nothing. Which you expected. There was more to it, though you have the distinct impression that the answer is going to be very simple.

Looking back at the wiki, you see something interesting that jives with your observations so far. It states that the length of the greeting should generally be no more than ten seconds in length and that taking much longer would very rapidly be seen as rude and very off-putting. That went along with what you’d seen other men doing but you seem to be completely exempt from this rule. You have fondled breasts for longer than that almost every time and there hadn’t been the slightest degree of censure from anyone, not the woman being fondled nor the people observing as you did it. Hell, you massaged Mary to an orgasm and only got interested smiles from a few women!

Further rumination on this subject is interrupted by an email from Dahlia popping up.

You open it and find just one sentence:

You forgot to tell me your penis size.

You take a deep breath in and let it out as you stare at that sentence. The fact that Dahlia, a woman who was normally so cool and professional, didn’t see any problems with using work email to discuss your cock with you really underlined how surreal your day had become. You seriously wonder if you somehow wandered into an episode of the Twilight Zone.

You hit reply and type:

I don’t know. It is longer than the average is supposed to be, I know that.

You hit send and less than a minute later she replies:

Thickness?

You rub your face with your hands and look at the computer screen again while shaking your head. Really?

You type:

I have no idea. I sort of knew through osmosis that the average length was 6 inches. No idea what the average width is supposed to be.

Her response does not come quickly and you spend about five minutes valiantly attempting to actually get some work done. Then an email from her pops up again:

Osmosis failed you. The average length is five inches. And the width is 4.5. So…?

You are getting a little frustrated and type:

Dahlia, Do you want me to measure my dick right here at my desk?

Her responding email hits in less than thirty seconds:

That’d be great. Let me know!

Now under more normal circumstances you would take that statement to be comical but you are actually pretty sure that Dahlia means exactly what she typed.

You sigh and type back:

Well unfortunately, I don’t have a ruler, so…

There isn’t a quick response so you spend some time trying to get a grasp on the phenomenon. You remember the anomalies like when you accidentally tore the waitress’s top and she just went about her business with her tit hanging out. No one was surprised or put out by her partial nudity that you saw. And what about rubbing your crotch on June’s ass? What was the connection?

Your ruminations are interrupted as Priya, a very attractive Indian engineer from the second floor, walks right up to the half wall of your cubicle and rests her arms on the shelf that runs along it. She has a big smile, emphasizing her bright teeth, her eyes big and friendly.

“Hey there!” she enthusiastically and you are a bit taken back. You’ve noticed Priya has a big personality and she seems to be very talkative but you don’t actually know her that well and you think this is the first time she’s ever spoken to you other than a rare greeting in passing.

She also has big tits that she is not to show off in tasteful business appropriate ways. She’s created a shelf with her crossed arms atop the side of the cubicle and is currently leaning her breasts over them expectantly.

Your erection had never fully gone away and it rebounds now, your pants drawing uncomfortably tight. Before you can even lift your hands to greet her, she’s laughing beautifully, “Oh! I see someone’s happy to see me!” She fans her face dramatically, “Oh I’m flattered!”

Honestly, you are very aroused. You’ve been trying to ignore it for a while and it has been hard as it has left you feeling jittery and anxious to release your pent up urges. The effect of arousal on the brain is well documented and your inhibitions have been distinctly lowered so with a smile you take her big boobs into your hands, “Well, with such a lovely pair of breasts how could I be anything else.”

She bobbed her head, her smile widening, “Why thank you! I do so appreciate the compliment! Mmmm…. That feels nice. Heh, I’m a pretty big fan of them myself, you know?”

You squeeze and rub both of her breasts between your fingers, reveling in getting to touch what you’d often ogled from afar. After a little bit, you note the time and ask Priya, “So I’ve been ‘greeting’ you for like a whole minute. Isn’t that kind of rude?”

“No, of course not! Why?”

“Well, what if another guy were to rub your chest this long?”

Priya did a thunderous frown for comical effect, “Oh I would slap his face off!”

“Sooo…. Why is it okay for me to do it?”

She made a small sound of enjoyment as she pressed her breasts more fully into your hands, her brow furrowed slightly before her expression changed entirely and she enthusiastically declared, “Oooh! I was so into your greeting I almost forgot why I was here in the first place. Here you go!”

In her open hand was a yellow row of measuring tape. She leaned in, excitement and open curiosity in her voice, “So do you really not know your penis size or were you just flirting with Dahlia?”

You blink and pull your hands back, which makes Priya do a really cute momentary pout. She shoots you a sassy look and declares, “Cause I’m pretty you know the size of that giant lump in your pants.”

You are really turned on and given how everyone has reacted so far, you don’t stop yourself from reaching down and grasping your achingly hard shaft running down your left pant leg, “What this?”

Priya actually gasps a bit as your hand draws the fabric tighter around your cock and she exclaims, “It’s so thick! Oh my…”

You’re emboldened and continually lustful. Testing out what you did to the waitress seems like a good idea. So you get up and come around the cubicle wall to Priya’s side, she turns to partially face you. Her body language seems to say she likes what you’re doing. You reach slowly for the front of her pelvis and she doesn’t react though she watches what you’re doing. You slide your finger along her belt till you find the clasp and you ask her, “You don’t mind if I do this, do you?”

“Oh no. What is it you are doing?” she says with a smile and a tone that tells you, you might as well have been offering to shake her hand. So you unbuckle her belt and unsnap her pants and then swiftly pull her slacks to her ankles. You stand up to see her quite delectably full and round brown ass clad in a red and black frilly thong.
A guy from IT walks past. He is definitely paying attention to Priya’s exposed bottom, but he doesn’t appear to be particularly surprised about encountering her with her pants around her ankles. Nor does Priya look bothered by it so buoyed by an arousal that refuses to be denied and with the flimsiest of pretexts involving seeing if she reacts like June did, you step right up to Priya’s backside and press your crotch to her oh so soft and warm ass.

Your hands settle upon her hips, your fingers slipping into the thong’s band and you grind your cock against her and ask, “So this doesn’t bother you?”

Priya giggled as she returned the favor, pushing back against him, “Oh my gosh, no! This is very nice!”

Another person passes and doesn’t blink an eye at your dry humping Priya against the side of your cubicle. This really is crazy. The pleasant smell of Priya’s hair is in your nose and it’s hard to keep up any sort of pretense that you are doing this for legitimate reasons. Your hand slips around her hip, feeling her flat firm stomach and slipping down into the front of her panties. Your fingertips graze through her curly pubic hair and then they are sinking slightly into hot wet folds, “You’re wet!” You mutter.

There’s a smile in her voice and a breathy slightly moany quality to it as well, “You are surprised? With such a lovely big cock how could I be anything else?”

You snort with amusement as you sink a finger deep into her silky wet passage, drawing out a small whimper and you say the first stupid sexy thing to pop into your head, “Well you know, normally women are supposed to tell me just as soon as they get wet thinking about my cock.”

Priya was clearly having a bit of trouble concentrating on anything other than your finger inside of her but she managed to say, “Oh! I’m sorry –ah- it totally slipped my mind but –Oah- yes, I first started to…drip just as-mmm soon as I saw your cock grow bigger and harder in your pants.”