Confess his lack of experience in such things

As Alex lets Roderick’s words sink in, he wonders if he is about to fail at his first task as a squire. Roderick wants some female companionship. Well, not exactly companionship. What he wants is something Alex has not been particularly skilled in acquiring.

The knight looks at his new squire and raises his eyebrows. “What’s the matter, boy? You’re not thinking of hoarding all of the women in these parts for yourself, are you?”

Alex briefly toys with pretending to be much more experienced than he really is, but quickly dismisses the notion. Starting off by lying to his new master couldn’t possibly bode well for their relationship. He decides honesty is the best policy.

“I’m sorry, sir. It isn’t that. I just don’t exactly have a lot of experience in that particular area.” He feels the back of his neck growing warm as his level of embarrassment rises.

Roderick barks with a surprised laugh. “Well, pull my beard! It’s a good thing I came along when I did! Are you telling me that you’re eighteen years of age, and you have yet to know the savory tastes of feminine fruits? Why, by the time I was your age, I had spread the legs of females throughout the four corners of the Kingdom! We’ll have to see about broadening your horizons, my boy.”

Alex’s heart pounds rapidly at Roderick’s words. Unconsciously, he looks over his shoulder, fully expecting his mother to be rushing after him, simultaneously pulling Alex back to his home and covering the young man’s ears so he won’t be further corrupted by the knight’s coarse talk. The empty road only reinforces the fact that Alex has left home and is in a new chapter of his life.

“So what do you prefer in a woman, lad?” asks Roderick. “Do you favor blondes? Brunettes? Do you fancy the big breasts where you can bury your face between them, or are you more of a leg man, favoring the lasses who can wrap their limbs around you as you plow their fertile fields?”

Now Alex can feel the blood surging to his cheeks. He’s glad the knight appears to be focused on the road ahead, otherwise the evident embarrassment on Alex’s features might make him rethink whether his new squire has the maturity needed for the job.

“Um...” Alex stammers, searching for an answer. “I’m not all that particular, I suppose.”

“Good answer, my boy!” responds Roderick. “A woman is a woman. On top of that, they all look alike in the dark, and if the one you’re with today doesn’t please you, there’s plenty more to find tomorrow in the next village!”

The men ride on in silence for another mile or so. Alex ponders Roderick’s words. This morning he woke up, thinking he would be starting on a life of fighting dragons and defending the virtue of beautiful maidens. Based on what he is hearing from Roderick, it’s beginning to sound like the beautiful maidens might fare better under the dragons’ talons than with the horny knight.

Alex’s musings are interrupted as the men come to a fork in the road. To the right, they see a few columns of smoke rising from just beyond a hill, suggesting a settlement of some kind. To the left, the road disappears into a forest, which ascends along the side of a mountain.

Roderick looks at his squire and strokes his beard thoughtfully. “What say you, boy? Which way would you like to go?”