Clothes. Preferably on a hero.

Another day, another set of adventuring parties looking to grind levels. Well, today would be the day you turned the tables on them. All you needed was to find a small party and the right place to ambush them. You take to the air and start looking around. Trees, bushes, grass, shrubberies, a black knight, more trees...Hang on.

You alight in the branches of a tree and look down at the strange figure. He certainly has an imposing presence. Is that a hero? Or a mob you haven't seen before? If it was a mob, where would it have come from? As far as you knew, monsters were zone-locked; the only times you heard about monsters jumping between zones were baseless rumors passed between the imps about a weed-fiend or slime out-leveling their beginner zone.

You stare closely. Out-leveling seemed possible; you couldn't make out anything on this guy. His armor was all black and covered everything, from his toes to his fingers to a helmet with the narrowest of visors. He didn't move in the slightest; you couldn't even see him breathing. A heavy two-handed sword was planted in the ground before him, his hands resting on the pommel. And above all else, all you could see of his status was a mess of question marks and a very big, very full health bar.

This guy can only be bad news (and you'd never be caught dead wearing that, anyway). But just before you can decide to move on, a beautiful, young woman comes running up to him. Her hair is a shimmering blonde, and she wears an astoundingly modest, simple blue dress. Not even a hint of cleavage. You didn't realize female clothing like that existed.

"Thanks for waiting for me," she tells the knight. He nods solemnly; for whatever reason, that brings a smile to the girl's face. Without a word, he bends over and extends an arm. She turns around and hops onto it, allowing him to left her up until she can settle onto one of his broad shoulders. She grabs onto his helmet to keep herself balanced, and he keeps that arm wrapped around her legs as well. You pause to admire the sight, though you think it would be better if she had one leg on each shoulder, straddling his head. Then her skirt would be hiked up, and she would be able to rub up and down his neck... In fact, he should turn her around, add a bigger opening for his mouth, then he could eat out her pantiless pussy as they...

"Now then, I think we were going this way..." she says, glancing around them. Her eyes move up--and meet yours. "AAAAH!" she screeches.

You start to panic when that dangerous-looking knight lifts his even more dangerous-looking sword with one hand as though the whole thing weighed as much as feathers. "No, wait! I wasn't thinking of-!" you blurt out. He swings his sword at you. A frozen wind blows around and through you, chilling your entire body and blasting you off your perch. You plummet toward the ground, bracing for the pain...

And find yourself tumbling down an invisible slope that deposits you at the feet of that knight. His sword is raised, but he doesn't move. Instead, the girl hops down from his shoulder to look at you. "Are you okay?" she asks, extending a hand. You look at her in confusion, but warily accept her help.

"I think I'm okay. Just a bit of cold damage," you say, minimizing it. That was half your HP, but you aren't about to be rude to that giant sword--er, to this kind girl.

"I'm really sorry, you just surprised me when I saw you up there. Um... Shelia, is it?"

"Yeah, and you are...?" You can see a name above her, but it's one of those strange mash-ups of letter and number that you don't know how to pronounce.

"I'm...uh, call me Ana. I'm a Medium."

"A medium what?"

She sighs with the long-suffering of one who has gone through this routine a thousand times. "No, a Medium. One who communicates with the dead."

"Oooh. Not a hero, then. That would explain the clothes, too, and why you didn't kill me on sight."

"Um," she tries. "That's not quite..." She looks way and bites her lip, looking like she has a lot she wants to say and doesn't have a clue how to say it.

"You...are a hero," you say slowly, not quite believing it.

"Yeah."

"Medium isn't a hero class."

"I didn't think so either. I was actually just a priestess, but...Something strange started happening as I came to know Dwight."

"Dwight."

She nods and looks up to the wall of black steel that was her companion. You definitely didn't hear anything, but the knight nods at Ana and takes of his helmet. A skull was all that lay beneath.

"D-d-d-d-" you stutter, clamping your mouth shut to get your tongue under control. "Deathknight," you breath in awestruck admiration as he places the helmet back over his head. That was the kind of monster that could be an area boss, or even a dungeon boss!

"When we met, he was actually just a simple wight. We've been...seeing each other for some time now."

You look at the color climbing into the girl's cheeks. Then up to the knight. Then back to the girl. "Oh. My. Archfiend. You and he...? Then you two are...?"

Her blush intensifies, but she nods.

There were soooooooo many questions about how that even worked. Unfortunately, a familiar blare of fanfare cut you off before you could begin. Hot on its heels was the sound of horse hooves rapidly approaching.

Ana's eyes shoot wide in alarm. "We have to go!" she cries letting her knight lift her back to his shoulder.

"What? Why? You could handle any-"

"We can't confront them! They've hacked scrolls for turn-undead; they want to delete Dwight!"

That sends a chill down your spine, even worse than the revelation that he was an undead.