Ask some more questions

"Sound's nice and all..." You're irritated to say the least, since for the first time ever you've had a taste of freedom, power, and being on top for once, but you're not stupid, she raised some very good points, "... but what can you offer us?"

"I've got plenty of potions I can trade you."

"We barely have two hundred hp combined." Melkar countered.

"Uh, I have some equipment I can spare? I might have some stuff you guy's can equip."

"I'm a bard. I can literally only use instruments otherwise my skills don't work. I'm also a 'Mischief Imp' so I can't really wear armor. "

Mischief Imp being his specific variety, but there weren't really any other lesser imps that you knew of so it was pretty much the same thing.

"And I'm... a sheep."

"Well... what about those things?"

Sephora was referring to the wizard hat on your head, and the orbs in your horns. Mage class equips, without a doubt.

"I just found them off my last kill."

"And you could equip them, so sounds to me, that anything will do...."Sephora trailed off, sticking her tongue out of her mouth, stared into space and started humming softly for a minute, and then

"Fucking shit! What?"

Weapons, and armor just started flying out of her, forcing you to dodge left and right.

"Ha-ha, what the fuck man? Calm down." Sephora giggled at you, even while armaments flew from her being.

"What are you doing!" You were as mad as you were confused, which was hella.

"I'm just dropping some of my shit."

"You're tied up!"

"So?"

So? So, she says! Okay, calm down. Remember, Heroes are just fucking crazy. If it's not their sense of morals it's something else. Trying to explain everything they do just isn't possible.

"Shit was right." Melkar mumbled wandering around the junk, leaving your sack with potions behind.

"Well it's just random garbage I looted from monster killing, I was just going to break them down for materials."

"You're trying to bargain your life with garbage?"

She had a metaphorical pair, that's for sure.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you've never found something above your level then?" Melkar was defending the girl, for some reason.

"Well in case you don't know, if you're not a high enough level, I.E. not experienced enough to use the item properly it takes a massive hit to it's stats and is barely better than being unarmed." Sephora didn't wait for your answer.

Guess that made sense, apparently your new partner agreed with her, so that lent a bit of credibility. However, it did raise a question,

"By the way, you know an awful lot for a noob." Sephora made vocal your own thoughts.

He was a lower level than you, but he seemed to know a lot about how the lawless world worked.

"Not exactly a noob. I was reborn as a god – well, demi-god."

Hold the fuck up! What?

"No shit?" Sephora hardly seemed fazed by the fact that the tiny, level 2 lesser imp just claimed to be a god.

"Yeah, one of my buddy's was a founder, and so he got access to the god lands, and he vouched for me and made me one of his demi-gods, 'Melkar, God of Mischief,'" Melkar, played up the last bit, lowering his voice, and striking a pose, "But when my buddy basically quit, the other gods got pissy at me for not playing god the way they wanted. They ganged up and took basically everything I had any claim too and in the end **** me to escape into a vessel. And since literally the only thing they didn't steal from me was the worship of Lesser Imps, which none of them actually wanted, here I am."

"That answered so many questions I didn't even get to ask yet." Sephora sighed in relief.

She just swallowed that like a load of jizz! What the fuck! She has less questions now?

Okay. Remember, heroes are just fucking craz– You know what? No. No, this isn't that easy to accept,

"You really expect me to believe, you, a level 2, crimson red turd–"

"Gross."

"– is a demi-god?"

"Well, I mean, anyone with money had a chance to be god. When this world was being made. It just takes a lot of campaigning, and boring as shit politics to be any good. Which, if you couldn't already tell." Melkar jabbed his thumbs into his chest.

Your prisoner was just nodding along, nonchalantly with your partners explanation. What the fuck? So if all you needed was money to be a god,

"What's so great about being a god then?" Something told you asking more questions when you couldn't wrap your head around the answers you were already given, wasn't a very good idea, but you pressed on.

"Okay, seriously?" Melkar looked offended.

"How are you this fucking dumb?" Sephora kicked in your direction in irritation, "It's like the first thing you do after you pick a class if you don't wanna suck sweaty balls. Literally and figuratively."

"Well I don't have a class, so maybe there's your answer!"

"Hold up!" Melkar screeched, causing his voice to crack, while he was giving off major crazy eyes, "Does this mean you're not aligned with any god?"

"I'm a fucking sheep! What do you think!"

Melkar's face lit up, and some how his limp Mohawk started to stand to attention.