The Button of Many Perversions

The Being chuckled with mischievous glee as it affixed its latest and greatest prank to the wall in a secluded corner of the room. The item in question wasn’t much to look at, just a shiny red button on a matte black base. Its simplistic design belied its intricate inner workings; it was capable of accomplishing feats of perversity that most people would believe to be impossible. All anyone had to do was mash the button and they would be gifted, or cursed, with some kind of change to their thoughts, bodies, or beliefs, changes that would lead them to new heights of pleasure, new depths of depravity, or hopefully both. But sometimes, it might just give them a different color of hair for an hour. The Power guiding the Button was fickle.

The Being stepped back to admire its handiwork. It felt that the choice of location was close to ideal: many young adults would pass through the area each day, but relatively few would notice the Button and fewer still would have the curiosity to push the unlabeled device just to see what would happen. The Button worked instantly, rewriting reality in ways large and small, although even it could not change reality completely and permanently. Eventually, the natural order would reassert itself, leaving only memories and artifacts of strangeness, and sometimes not even that.

The Being suddenly became aware of its rival, The Presence, and took the opportunity to needle the other entity and trade barbs. “So, you’ve come to admire my latest handiwork, eh? Feeling a little jealous, no doubt?”

The Presence sneered and dismissed the accusation, saying, “Jealous of such a ham-handed attempt at sexual ingenuity? My dear Being, your device is as subtle and elegant as a hammer to the skull, presumably because every person you encounter makes you think of nailing things.”

“Not true!” boasted the Being, “The Button is capable of great finesse and delicacy! It is as chaotic as the Primordial Moment! You simply lack the ability to appreciate the artistry of bedlam!”

The Presence sniffed and demurred, “The fact that chaos occasionally gives rise to beauty accidentally is hardly a recommendation, since order gives rise to beauty as often as the artist desires it.” The statement was followed up by a sneering coda, “Well, assuming the artist has any real talent, of course.”

The Being laughed and said, “Lack of talent must be what brought you here! Looking for new inspiration, I warrant! Burned out after all of your checkboxes and lists for what makes ‘true art,’ no doubt! Well, you’re in luck! Relax, and let the callous currents of Fate bear the button-mashers to whatever end it wishes!”

The Presence scoffed, but spoke in a slightly conciliatory way, admitting, “I suppose I could use a break from the ordinary once in a while. Yes, let us see if your scattershot plan results in anything worth remembering.”

Chuckling with delight, the Being said, “You must be mellowing in your old age, I can’t recall when I’ve heard you talk so reasonably!”

The two entities faded back into whatever realm they normally called home, leaving behind only the Button of Many Perversions to add a little spice to an otherwise dull world.

{Author’s Note: To anyone who wishes to add to this story, I suggest the following set-up: Pick a location for the button and make that the title of your chapter, and then describe the general setting and the kinds of people it will affect. For example, perhaps it’s in the bathroom of a bar or club and will mostly affect the patrons. Maybe it’s in a busy coffee shop, or the changing rooms at a gym, or the shower room of a prison. Then just make up a character and make them do something perverted! I am using a random generator to create a number of traits, but of course you can tell whatever tale you want. For my stories, the button will make a random change of some kind, and it will additionally have a randomly determined duration, intensity, targets, and reactions. The duration can range from 1 hour to 100 years, although it’s weighted toward hours or days. The intensity ranges from 30% to 100%, which can be interpreted various ways: a 50% boost to breast size might be exactly that, or you might consider 100% to be a certain size, whether we’re talking double-Ds or sofas, and scale down accordingly. A 50% sex change might mean the top half or bottom half changes completely or it might mean all features move halfway toward the opposite. Sometimes I will ignore the intensity or round up if the trait seems ‘all or nothing.’ The targets skew toward user only, but there’s a chance it also affects the second nearest person, or the user’s friends, or one or more random people nearby, or the entire room. For reactions, there’s a 25% chance no one notices any difference, 25% that only the user is aware, and then small chances (12.5% each) of people thinking it’s curious, surprising, shocking, or scandalous. If other writers don’t want to come up with their own tables I can provide a copy of mine to use as-is or to modify to your own tastes. Enjoy!]