Can't Handle Your Cock

You have a problem. See, when most people say to someone that they can’t handle their cock, it’s bragging. The human body is very elastic, and with the right preparation and mindset, almost anything is possible. And that certainly contains the possibilities of finding a way to take any mundane human penis, no matter how big.

Maybe you brag about some things, but when you say people can’t handle your cock, you’re deadly serious. Something about it has always been extremely unusual, ever since you hit puberty. You aren’t precisely compatible with other humans. That is to say, you can fuck them, but it tends to end badly for everyone involved. You don’t know whether or not it could kill someone, but it’s crossed your mind, and so you’ve yourself to hold back. After all, it’s a small price to pay to be stuck whacking it as long as everyone stays safe and secure.

Except, this morning, you woke up to an unusual text message.

Dear Recipient:

This is a letter being sent from the Department of Dimensional Anomalies in regards to your reproductive anomaly. It has come to our attention that you received an incorrect application of your reproductive organs. Here at the DoDA, we strive for reality to be as sensible and pleasant as possible. As a result, we have moved you to the proper dimensional address for your unique predicament.

You will find it very much the same as before, though importantly, you should not experience any difficulties in regards to physical intimacy. Considering that you already have many traits inhabitants of this dimension find desirable, you should find it laughably easy to make up for any lost time and added stress your initial misassignment has caused you. All dangers should be appropriately mitigated. Please accept our humblest apologies, and thank you for using DoDA in your period of existential awareness.

Good wishes,

M

It takes you a second to process, but you find yourself fully believing it. Of course, it’s a little vague. Mitigated? Does that mean you could hurt someone, but not too bad? Is “not too bad,” like aches from really rough sex, or is it still dangerous? Hell, did the danger decrease at all? If the social values of this place were slightly different in specific regards to you, it might just be that people don’t care. Or even are intrigued by the risk.

A lot to process, surely. However, a sense of freedom and confidence washes over you. Your world has just changed forever. How do you want to have fun with it?