I was glad to see she was really engaged in this “I owe you” narrative. I answered, “I think so. I mean, more or less. But... think about it. I could probably find some woman **** enough to sleep with me, even if she finds me repulsive. Like if she was drunk enough, or paid to do it, or whatever.”
“You're not-” Jade tried to interject, but I kept going.
“The trick is finding someone that I know isn't doing this for the wrong reasons but because she actually cares about and accepts me. Otherwise, I'd be suspecting that you were just hiring someone to sleep with me.”
“Oh,” Jade nodded in understanding.
“What I guess that means is... since you're the one that owes me...”
“It has to be me,” she concluded. Yes, it made no sense on the surface, but I had twisted her thinking enough to get there. “I have to be the one that sleeps with you. I took that away from you. And if I really cared about you and about making it right, I would be the one to make it right.”
“When you put it that way,” I said, “it makes sense. But I know that's never going to happen, since you're... you know.”
“Yeah,” she said, looking down thoughtfully. We sat in silence for several minutes. Then Jade sighed deeply and looked up at me.
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