The Stallion Prince

Your head is spinning with all these choices. Somewhere between "The Samurai Prince" and "The Pirate Prince", the ceaseless glare of these fucking lights went from an annoyance to a legitimate pain. It's getting harder and harder to read the tiny text of these entries, and if you're being honest you're no closer to finding the right fit than you were at the start. It looks like you're going to have to decide this the same way you decided which colleges to apply to. With that resolved, you close your eyes, flip to a random page, and confidently jam your finger down on what you hope isn't a terrible role. What you find when you open your eyes is...well, certainly interesting.

There's no beating around the bush about what the descriptive cartoon of this one is. It is DEFINITELY a giant horse fucking a castle. Though if the bulging bellies of all the little cartoon ladies in attendance, adoringly watching what is (again) a giant fucking horse fucking a castle, can attest, the horse is more accurately impregnating the castle. The Stallion Prince? You glance over the description, quickly deciding it's all just a more abstract representation. It's more like a Horse-Lord type thing, you think. The rough-hewn, somewhat feral prince of savage dignity to contrast with all the more traditionally foppish knights. Well it's certainly gotten your attention. Fruitlessly trying to shake off your headache again, you read aloud the descriptive text

Too long have those lacy-frilled dandies sullied the title of Prince. So what if they say you're just a backwater noble, and you stink like a beast? You are a virile lord of true breeding, and you are prepared to show the princess (and those fancy princelings) the exact extent of that breeding. ARE YOU THE STALLION PRINCE?

You gasp in a breath of air as you quickly grab hold of either side of the table, catching yourself as the lightness in your head surges into a full on dizzy spell. You clench your eyes shut and shake your head, what is going on? You barely manage to crack one eye open and check the box labelled "Yes" before you tumble out of your chair, the blinding glare of the room flaring up to white out your conscious mind.