The Savvy God, Bungen, and his priestess, Shiryoku Zai

{if Tips = 1}((TIPS: Shiryoku Zai is a priestess who equates money to power; the ruthless resourcefulness of her god makes it so she never runs out of tools. There's no way to match her wits or her resources. It's best that you surprise her with outstanding strength and **** her out of her comfort zone.

Vital stats: Power, Body

Poor stats: Cunning, Faith)){endif}

You held the scroll out, cleared your throat, and leaned to speak into the golden microphone that rested on a stand between your legs. Once you had everyone's attention, you announced your next challenge, issuing it for "The Savvy God, Bungen, and his priestess, Shiryoku Zai." There hadn't been that much information on the two of them... no pictures or anything... but you knew just a bit about this guy's home-world. Apparently, this guy was known for making a marketing system that sells and delivers goods across not only his own world, but across most civilized dimensions. Not that you'd ever signed any such contract with him... you didn't want other gods and priestesses showing up on everyone's doorsteps and kicking up trouble, no matter how fast and free their delivery.

It was clear he's be a person of means; he probably had a lot of money in his pocket. But did any of that equate to strong priestesses? No! Why would it? What, is some mail carrier or logistics expert supposed to be able to compete with a modern-day samurai like Keiko? Not likely!

... If you were so confident in that decision, then why did the sudden buzzing of the arena seem ominous? People were pretty clearly acting like you'd out-stepped your authority. Then again, maybe they'd act that way no matter who you picked. You sort of wished that Don hadn't disappeared, so maybe he could tell you what you're in for...

With surprising quickness, another man took the seat next to you. In the air, you heard a sort of whirring noise and saw something lifting into the air... It looked a bit like a seed, but with a camera lens embedded in it and spinning the leaves sprouting up from out the top like a helicopter blade. It freaked you out, just a bit... But the man next to you was more disarming than that seed. The guy was way taller than you or Don, with round spectacles that hid his entire eyes. He was bald on top, with grayish hair, slightly wisping away from his head and with no attempt at a comb-over. His nose was long and beak-like, matching his jaw, which was also... long and beak-like, jutting out far from his skinny neck. It was hard to tell if had a very long chin or was just slouching way too heavily. At first, you thought he was obsessed with adjusting his glasses, but you quickly realized he was actually pressing a series of discrete buttons on top in sequence. Were these some advanced version of Ray-Glass they'd tried to roll out (unsuccessfully) a few years back? An advanced HUD system?

His gear was so heavily branded, he could be mistaken for a priestess himself, were he not so otherwise unattractive (and male). He wore a turtle-necked jacket, extending all the way to the tops of his booted ankles and down to his wrists, banded by all kinds of stripes across his skinny frame, as well as a long red tie, displaying his own name: "BUNGEN." The other LEDs were all lit up with different brand names... you recognized a few, but not others. The man tilted his chin and regarded you by additionally tilting up his narrow eyebrows, as if he was looking at something both unpleasant and confusing. "You challenged me? {if Win < 2}Record, practically non-existant{endif}{if Win> 1}Record... hm... promising.{endif}. {if Faith < 20}Faith and followership ... unremarkable.{endif} {if Faith >19}Faith and followership... growing steadily.{endif} Membership status... not yet a subscriber. Mister Katappashikara, I'm Bungen, CEO of BUNGEN. May I interest you in thirty free days of BUNGEN Prime? No no, no need to answer yet. Watch this free demonstration... then let me know at the end of the match if you're interested," he finished, now putting an annoying smile on his strange, fish-like mouth. It vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared.

You asked him where he'd come from... you didn't see anyone like him in the hallway before you came in.

He shrugged his narrow shoulders, then went back to tapping on his glasses. "Drones," he answered plainly. "You'll see plenty of them in this demonstration."

Next out was Mila Minute to announce the gods and competitors. "Welcome to another exciting days of the most holy of contest sports, Kami Kurabeeeeee!" she began, holding one hand into the air and shaking her hand up and down, indicating for everyone to up tempo. "First off, the challenger: weighing in at one-hundred blueberries, the God of blueness, Katappashikara!!" the announcer shouted, shooting one arm in your direction. "His stated goal: 'everybody leave me the heck alone!' Any words before we start?"

You protested that you're not the god of blueness, you're the god of... laziness. Hm. Actually, god of blueness doesn't sound so bad next to that.

"Serving the lazy blue God, it's the promising new priestess, Keiko Fukeiken! Her swordsmanship was a surprise during the Buchiko bout, but will she surprise us again with this next contest?! She's vowed to make this the last of the Kami Kurabe, but does she have the clout to back up that mouth?!"

The gate opened, and with a burst of theatrical smoke, Keiko appeared, walking slowly forward in her grass green arena gear. You felt {if Buchikowasu Tattooed = 1}a certain pride, remembering the first round victory you'd managed to obtain along with her, and hoped you'd pull out another win in similar fashion.{endif}{if Don's Tattoo = 1}a flash of shame, remembering how you'd failed her in the first round... would you do better this time? Or would this whole dang contest be one big chance to drool over your earth's finest priestess exclusively?{endif} In her hands was that strange, zig-zagging sword, which marked her as your priestess. Its design was so obscure, you weren't even sure what to call it... At any rate, her game face was intense.

"Let's meet the challenged: it's that weird fish-face, a face known to everyone in the world of the gods: the Prime Deliverer himself, Bungeeeen! His stated goal: to unite us all as consumers using his extensive line of logistics and delivery! If any of you all are ordering online to get limited edition Kami Kurabe gifts delivered to commemorate the night, you can probably give this man a haaand!"

The man stood up and bowed his strange looking head, though he kept tapping at his glasses the whole time. "Bungen, representing BUNGEN, at your service. As you all know, there is no challenge I intend to turn down. None is too small or too large. I'm confident in our products, our delivery, our services, and- just as importantly- our priestesses. At BUNGEN, we are wholly committed to winning the Kami Kurabe and maintaining our status as number one, high-faith carrier of goods throughout all dimensions. As such, we require a large amount of faith... defeating Mister Katappashikara is just a means to that end. Thank you."

"Alright, alright! Your coat's already doing the sales pitch!" Mila calmed him down, garnering a laugh from the audience. "Who do we have next? It's Bungen's indispensable star priestess and his personal secretary, voted Least Likely to Ever Get to Spend All That Vacation Time She's Accumulated, Shiryoku Zai, the Order Fulfillment Expeeeeert!!"

The other side opened up. Out walked a woman that, surprisingly, matched the definition of order fulfillment expert more closely than anything you could have ever anticipated. Her hair was long, silver, with a sort of fantastic beauty to it that brought to mind elves from fantasy fiction back on your world. Her skin was a pale pink, nearly white, making you think of those same elves. However, everything other than those features had been covered from head-to-toe in god branding, so much so that it made the regular priestess outfits look modest. Her armor included a towering helmet, rectangular in shape, black in color, covered in unlabeled buttons, with a BUNGEN logo on the top near the brow. Her eyes were covered in spectacles, matching Bungen's but in half-frames. Her lower mouth was covered by the turtle-necked coat she wore, but unlike Bungen's, the turtlenecked coat was just an under-layer for the ridiculously over-encumbered armor she wore, black, with buttons and LED lights covering every surface. Rather than other sponsors, hers were entirely the logos of BUNGEN's corporation: not just his name, but also, a symbol showing a square shaped package with wings, and another showing a tree with wings circling its rounded foliage.

With so much armor covering her, you couldn't even make out her shape, neither her bust nor her hips! She could be a fatty like Buchikowasu or an athlete like Keiko and you'd never know unless she went down to a T2 judgment or so. Furthermore, you can't even see her cheeks or her lips! The only thing you can glimpse, with the help of the monitors, is a blue-purple coloration to her eyes. Those eyes are constantly darting back and forth behind her glasses, messing with her HUD... It's probably for the best that you can't see them too closely, because those graceful, elf-like eyes have been reduced by Bungen's technology into two ping-pong balls, rapid-firing her gaze between various data readouts. Just trying to watch her pupils was making you dizzy...

Whatever her weapon was, it wasn't readily apparent... For now, her hands were both busy, clacking away at the keys on her armor. She didn't even seem to be looking at Keiko as she approached.

Bungen stood up and clapped his hands, not for applause, but for everyone else's silence. "As always, the challenged makes the rules, and as always, I pick my usual: the World Resources match," he explained, pushing his glasses up, before continuing at a brisk pace. "The World Resources match allows both of us to pit the material goods and fiscal resources of our worlds- homeworlds only- against one another. With that collateral, you may purchase any weaponry, tool, or aid that may assist you in this match. Of course, the costs to your world are very real, so do be empathetic of your people's needs," he finished, giving another quick bow before taking his seat. "While I'd prefer to have you sign electronically if you agree to my terms, a simple yes or no answer will suffice."

Part of you thought this might be a bad move on Bungen's part.

After all, has he seen how materialistic the people of your world are?! These guys hoard money, build giant skyscrapers, make weapons by the boatload, stockpile nuclear arms! They aren't like priestesses who give all of their resources to their god anyway... These are high-class hoarders, who normally wouldn't toss you a penny, and you're being given a blank check to use all of their money you want! There's no way he can hold out against all of that! Right...?

However... there was a sort of twisting feeling in your gut. Something about this match wasn't right... before the match kicked off, you knew you had to say something about it. You grabbed your microphone before it could drop, then stood to make a bold proclamation!