The Dastardly Prince

Well, they always say that the villain is the best character, right? You shake off the ache that's beginning to pound in your temple as your eyes land on an entry entitled "The Dastardly Prince".

They certainly aren't subtle here, that's for sure. The little descriptive cartoon shows a typically handsome knight, though you note with some amusement he has little devil horns and the traditional evil goatee. He cackles with what strikes you as rather whimsical malice as he ties a princess who seems to only sort of be struggling onto the back of his horse, little bats and imps flying all around him. Wait, hold up; are those imps anatomically correct?! You squint through your now pulsing headache long enough to verify that whoever set this up took the time and effort to draw tiny, almost cute little dicks on all of the imps. This place is....yeah, this place. Woof. Well, in for a penny in for a pound, right? You read the description aloud.

"Honor? Gallantry? Not having a goatee?! That noise is for wimps and losers! You'll win this thing the YOUR way: through cheating, lying, and good old-fashioned black magic! After all: why win a Princess's hand when you can just corrupt her and her whole kingdom instead? ARE YOU THE DASTARDLY PRINCE?"

You gasp in a breath of air as you quickly grab hold of either side of the table, catching yourself as the lightness in your head surges into a full on dizzy spell. You clench your eyes shut and shake your head, what is going on? You barely manage to crack one eye open and check the box labelled "Yes" before you tumble out of your chair, the blinding glare of the room flaring up to white out your conscious mind.