Sympathetically

"Ivona," you speak her name in a soft voice. It sounds strange coming gently from your lips when you have spoken that name in anger so many times in recent days. "I cannot celebrate the commencement of my journey of the final trial without you. Whatever has come between us, can you not put it aside for this one night and be happy with me?"

"You speak as if I have abandoned you!" She hisses with anger. "We swore to each other that we would undertake this journey together."

"It is my time," you object.

"So your oath of all those years meant nothing? Does your oath to the Burning Rose mean nothing?"

By your oath and by your deeds you have the power of the order. To abandon your oath means to sacrifice your holy magic and your divine strength. The oath is the foundation of your whole existence. You must endeavor to serve the will of the Burning Rose and never swear allegiance to another god. And the door of your chastity must not be breached.

To accuse you of being an oathbreaker is a low insult indeed. You hold back your anger, remembering the words of the War Mother. You reach out a hand, slowly, and gently place it on Ivona's shoulder.

"My sister. I love you more than any other at the abbey." You rest your other hand on her other shoulder. "The Burning Rose calls me to duty and I cannot refuse that call, but if you would ask me, truly, I would abandon my final trial. I would serve as a laywarrior or a cook. I would darn socks. I would dig graves in the cemetery. All of these things I would do rather than lose you as my sister."

Tears well in Ivona's eyes. She throws her arms around your neck and pulls you tight as she begins to sob. She buries her face against your neck and you hold her tightly as the anguish pours out of her. Her tears soak your collar. You wipe them away form her blue eyes with your thumbs.

"Oh, sister," she sighs. "I must confess to you now. I have known for some time that I would never ascend to the final trial. This pain is not jealousy. It is because I love you."

"I love you too, sister," you say and try to hug her again.

Ivona takes your hands away and clutches them tight in her hands. She looks into your eyes and you are startled by the intensity you see there.

"I adore you, Sabine. I have known for years that you are more than a friend or a sister to me." Her voice cracks as she confesses, "I am smitten with you and I cannot bear to lose you to the crusade."

Flirtations and even some relationships that nearly cross the line of chastity are not unknown among the girls at the abbey, but never had you suspected Ivona harbored such feelings for you. Stunned to silence, you recall unusually thoughtful gifts and long hugs, Ivona climbing into your bed and pressing tight against you during a fierce storm, and you recall swimming naked with her in the sea.

"The vow of chastity is...I mean..."

You do not know what to say to her. Ivona smiles and leans her lips to yours. They are warm and soft. Her kiss holds there, pressing very lightly against your mouth. You inhale her scent, her soap and her sweat, and her lips open and you feel her tongue press at your lips. Her tongue pries them open and you taste the forbidden heat of her kiss, invading you and making you tingle with excitement.