Susanna: a nun that wants to save her orphanage( Finished)

• Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a special guest, a nun with the purest intentions-SUSANNA.

A girl in a Christian cassock came on stage (she was asked to come out like that, so why not?). She exuded some kind of extraordinary peacefulness, and the people around her suddenly felt somehow.... better (Oh, how she doesn't know what awaits her). She came on stage and introduced herself:

-good evening, my dears, I am Suzanne, I came here to earn money for my orphanage, and I will return there with a smile on my face no matter what.

-It sounds great, Sweetie, but let's not forget that we don't have a charity here, didn't you think you could end up like Chrissy or worse?

The camera was hung first on Chrissy herself, and she thought that she needed to say something and blurted out:

-and I have a question, can God create a dick that he can't suck?(yes, I'm ashamed)

Everything ...... Fuck, yes, not even a little, everyone was in awe with such a question. Even Jack looked at her like the time when she get on a news for fucking every man in Times Square. But Suzanne did not move an eyebrow and calmly replied:

-I think that we mere mortals cannot understand such a complex answer to the question. Maybe it will create, or maybe it will create a being capable of accommodating it, our lives are too small to understand this. As for your question, Jack, I'm sure God will take me where I need to go, and I'll go through the game with something I can live with.

Every person in the room looked at her as if she were this very deity, incomprehensible to mortals and capable of forgiving anyone, but Jack's voice quickly brought her to her sense.

-It's just amazing, really, with such a mindset and you have to play this game. But we can't take too long, so let's get started. Please, from one to twenty-four.

-The nun did not think long and called the first number in her head:

-13 please.

Jack gave the go-ahead, and Chrissy, who had lost the essence of her thought on the word "mortals", instantly took out a prize with money.

-10000, a good start, but Chrissy will earn more in half an hour. Maybe God will really support you, you didn't even think for a second. By the way, we would be interested to know how much you need for the shelter?

-It was calculated that I needed every cash prize of this show. And now, please, number three.

-And here you did not guess the map, specifically puppet on strings, compulsion. And here's the choice:

• 1-To the very prostrate: now every time she speaks to a person at least a little more authoritative than herself, she will speak to him only in such a bow that she will be able to see every piece of the leather of his shoes.
• 2-As in the best years: do you like the seventies? Then this is for you. Now our participant will be able to dress only in this style (naturally in the most sexualized possible)
• 3-Happy Tattoo Salon Day: the entire immaculate body of the holy woman (except the face) unexpectedly will be filled with various tattoos. In addition to this, it will be pierced with various piercings (this time including the face), like tits, clit, nose and another. It’s just our gift to help with what he needs.
• 4- Punk: The boldest possible ideas will seep into Suzanne's head, such as SETTING FIRE TO A CHURCH, FAKING **** AND GOING TO LIVE IN THE TAIGA!!!! And keep such ideas in yourself for a long time she can’t. She need an action. Because YEEEEEEAH, ROOOOOOOCK AND ROLL BABY. (Egor Letov will appreciate)
• 5-white nectar: well, you really really want to get drunk on the sperm of the nearest man in the middle of the day.

-yeeaaaah( not the punk one), with some of them, the nun will have to lead a service VERY hard. At the orphan there are no special options for the fifth change.

And now the voting of dear viewers begins. Entertain our elite with your choice:

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Well, great, my first story. I'll write it all myself, you just go read, but the idea of this thing came to me as spontaneously as possible. Although how (hopefully in the future) will such a practice be useful to me as a comic book author? Not? I apologize for the most likely killed grammar. I write the original in Russian, at OUR 11 P.M, run it through OUR Google translator analogue (because I can, because it's so cool), and put it here. I'm sorry if it hurts to read. Well, have a good evening, brothers, tomorrow there will be a new chapter.

P.s: Oh yeah. By the way, I won't give you a choice, because fuck you, we don't have democracy here (insert a joke about the third way). And Egor Letov is required to audition for you.