Supervillain Season

Emily walked into work with her usual bright, cheerful smile on her face, only to come to a screeching halt. The open office was stretched out before her, Teddy and Ron goofing off around Teddy’s computer, her boss Van Wayne straightening his tie for solid minutes while staring at his reflection, mostly normal.

And then Jackie walked past in what looked for all the world like a playboy bunny outfit, fishnets and a perky headband and tight black velvet. Emily did a double take; the blonde, Van’s secretary, turned and looked her up and down.

“Oof, bold choice,” Jackie said.

“What?!” Emily said, disbelieving.

“Summer’s starting, you know what that means,” Jackie said.

Emily continued to stare. The blonde just quirked an eyebrow, adjusting the bust of her leotard slightly as it started to slip.

“She’s right,” Wendy said.

Emily frowned, turned, and then stammered again to see Wendy in a rather half-hearted attempt at a schoolgirl outfit.

“It means the… Sun will be out?” Emily said slowly.

Jackie’s face creased in what could almost have been sympathy.

“It’s when all the nudity themed supervillains come out,” Jackie said. “You know, Ass al Ghul, Nudist Meister, Captain Booberang, Firestorm-”

“Isn’t Firestorm a hero?” Emily said.

“Not in this season he’s not.”

“Alright, I get it,” Emily said. “But we have heroes! They’d never get away with anything.”

“The Olympian’s in Coast City this time of year,” Wendy said. “Crimson Fox never went up against this lot after that time she, well, you can guess. And ditto Green Fury, she really is green everywhere.”

“But, but, er, what kind of person would start stripping random women?” Emily said.

“Either pervs, or women that get exposed one time too many themselves and decided they wanted to expose everyone else,” Jackie said. “Or a few women that are just pervs. The occasional alien. You know, there’s actually a surprising amount of those.”

“Easiest way around it’s to wear something embarrassing,” Wendy said. “That way they don’t target you, or at least they’re less likely to. That, you’d better hope none of them spot you.”

Emily looked down at her normal workclothes, smart and professional as ever, then looked back up.

“Psh,” Emily said. She laughed nervously. “What are the chances of that actually happening?”

Jackie and Wendy shared a look. Pushing thoughts of exposure aside, Emily walked confidently past them. Honestly, nudity themed villains, they must be trying to prank her.

As she walked past, Teddy and Ron’s eyes were drawn to her. Silently Teddy sat down.

“I give it an hour,” Ron said.

“Two,” Teddy said. “She’d need to get near a window.”

Silently, Jackie walked up.

“Five minutes,” she said. “She was lucky enough just getting over here.”

“You’re on,” Teddy said.

They shook hands, all eyes on the oblivious, cheerfully optimistic Emily.