Pull a fast one

Duncan thinks quickly, and, in his most charming voice, says, "Oh, I'd love to show you my room, Sir! And don't worry.... I'm sure the contagion has gone away by now."

The smile freezes on Tawnley's face as Duncan's words set in. "Contagion? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, it's nothing at all," says Duncan, stepping toward Tawnley and grabbing his arm. "There are some who will tell you that Capra Pestilencia is nothing more than a fable, anyway. Come, let us hurry to my quarters! I want you to honor me with your presence."

Tawnley pulls his arm away. "What do you mean Capra Penstilencia?"

Duncan reaches again for Tawnley, but the satyr steps back out of the way. "Really, sir, it is nothing. Oh, it has been said to cause massive fatal testicular warts on certain breeds of goat, but it's very rare that the testicles explode, even in the worst of situations."

Tawnley's face loses some of its color. "Why was this outbreak not reported to me right away?"

"I don't know, sir," replied Duncan. "I assumed Lucius the faun would have reported it."

"Lucius?" asked Tawnley. "I don't know a Lucius."

"Oh? How tragic! He came to visit me on his first day at the palace. I guess it was more than just man-flu then.... Perhaps goat-flu?"

Making up his mind, Tawnley turns to the guard and says, "I think we're done here."

"And the girl?" asks the guard.

"Forget about her," replies Tawnley, rushing to the door and not even sparing a look back at Duncan. "And be sure to have this room -- and hers -- fumigated at once."

The guard rushes after the satyr, and once the door closes, Duncan breathes a sigh of relief.

"That was close!" he exclaimed.

"You don't know the half of it," agreed Gorgall. "If goat boy had gotten us alone, he either would have discovered my presence, or you wouldn't be able to sit or walk comfortably for weeks."

Duncan shudders at the thought before refocusing on the matter at hand. "We need to do something about Terrice. We've got to rescue her!"

"Terrice?" asks Gorgall. "Oh yes... The beautiful sexpot with the fetish for anal sex.... Definitely, that is someone worth paying attention to. What do you suggest?"