The Hat and the Cat

You were hungry. You probably should have rested some more after that restless night but your growling stomach took you to the dining hall before your alarm sounded. You were indiscriminate in your menu selections and was halfway through your second stack of pancakes when Zatanna found you. You almost choked on a blueberry.

Zatanna had dressed down and she was stunning. You weren't sure how she managed to look so incredible in ordinary street clothes. Just a red plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of comfortable corduroy shorts that still showed off her now bare legs. Her hair still fell down around her shoulders and she took a seat across from yours.

“Morning,” she greeted you, smiling warmly. You wondered if you were blushing and smiled back.

“Good morning. How do you feel?” you asked.

“Aces,” she replied, plucking some grapes from a bowl of fruit in the middle of the table you had been ignoring. She chewed, contemplating something as she gazed over your shoulder at the vastness of space outside. “Did you tell them yet?”

You shook your head, shovelling some more hashbrown into your mouth. She watched you eat with a quiet curiosity.

“I wasn’t going to. You are, remember?” you reminded her. At that she nodded, her hands rubbing together nervously.

“You’ll be there right?”

“If you want me to be,” you nodded.

“I definitely want you,” she said. You had to take a big swig of your protein shake to distract yourself from her arresting gaze. “You must be starving,” she noted, now glancing over the empty plates and bowls that had accumulated next to you that a robotic guardian had come to collect. Another set down a plate of steaming waffles. You frowned as you assessed your morning’s consumption, only noticing the anomaly with Zatanna pointing it out.

“Want some?” you offered. She reached over and poked at the mound of whipped cream, then made a show of licking it from her fingers. She wanted something else you could offer. God she was masterful at getting you started. Then you remembered something and you couldn’t help taking a quick survey of the immediate vicinity. “Hey uh… do you know the Batman?” you asked her, trying to sound casual as you pushed your fork around the plate.

“Yes?” she answered, your sudden interest in a teammate catching her off guard. “And it’s just Batman. The Batman is what criminals call him.” There was no double meaning there.

“Right. Batman. I think he came into my room last night,” you told her. “I mean he was there… and then he wasn’t.” You wished that hadn’t come off as strange to her as it did to you.

“He does that sort of thing,” Zatanna said with a smirk. “He’d make a pretty good magician actually.”

“Right… He was, kind of mean,” you recalled, and again you felt ridiculous but Zatanna only looked sympathetic.

“He was probably testing you,” she guessed. “Probably wanted to remind you that he’s around.”

“And that he knows everything?” you added nervously. You weren’t sure why that made you nervous. You didn’t have much to hide.

“Batman thinks he knows everything,” scoffed the sorceress. “But he doesn’t.” She winked at you and popped a strawberry into her mouth. “Though I guess she is the world’s greatest detective…” Then Zatanna ordered herself some breakfast.

“You don’t need to be here,” Tina told Zatanna as you both entered the lab. She wasn’t being rude or dismissive. She understood that super heroes were busy. The hero in question shot you a glance and you gave her an encouraging nod.

“Actually, Doc, I kinda do,” Zatanna said. Tina looked up from her coffee, puzzled. You saw the usually confident magician take a breath to settle herself. “I need your help. I’m… a cum addict.”

Even you weren’t sure how she was going to break the news to everyone, but the direct admission came as a bit of a shock. Doctor McGee’s first reaction was to check your reaction. Once she measured your blank look she focused on Zatanna.

“What are your symptoms?” questioned the Doctor. Zatanna looked to you now for help.

“I kind of already went through this with Doctor Doe,” she said, wringing her hands nervously. “And uh… we’ve already... ”

McGee pursed her lips in thought then her eyebrows rose.

“Oh. Oh!” Her eyes invariably darted to your crotch then up to your face and she was quick to look away. “I see. I… I think I understand.”

“She had been suppressing symptoms with magic,” you cut in, hoping to move things along. “Apparently it was working but I had to recommend proper treatment as soon as I found out. And a proper diagnosis.”

Tina’s eyes searched yours. There was an understanding in her look, and she downplayed her own rising objections to save Zatanna from embarrassment.

“Okay,” she sighed, not wanting to add onto the stresses of the last twenty four hours. She had a new patient to treat. “Let’s run some tests, Zatanna.” The doctor guided the magician to a seat. “Don’t worry, you’re in good hands.”

Doctor McGee took out some non-invasive tools and gadgets, some you were familiar with, others you weren’t, to start the diagnosis. One was similar to a blood pressure monitoring device that was strapped to the patient’s forearm. “How long has this been going on?” Tina asked, watching the small digital display carefully. “The symptoms I mean. When did you first notice something was wrong?”

And so Zatanna told her everything, as best as she could remember it. It had been a few months ago, three maybe four, when she first realised her increased libido was more than that. It was a craving. She told her doctors something about a frenchman and their brief ‘relationship’. Then she described how she conjured a form of addiction bandaid and all the bad ideas that followed. When she got to the part where you delivered her first two doses you tried not to make it too obvious you were checking Tina’s response. At the end of the explanation your colleague just sighed. “Superheroes,” she scoffed, then unplugged Zatanna from the measuring devices. “Well so far your condition isn’t too poor, all things considered,” McGee went on, based on her initial findings. “I’ll need to run more of your numbers through the analyzers though, and from that we can form a treatment schedule.”

“Thanks for being so… cool about this, Doc,” Zatanna said, dipping her head gratefully at Tina. She was waved off.

“Believe me, in the field of meta-human cum addiction nothing is ever straightforward. Getting Diana to agree to treatment was … a struggle,” the doctor recalled with a great sigh. “I’m simply glad we’ll be able to help you,” she went on. “And we’ll be able to help others because of it.” She did appear to genuinely take that sentiment to heart.

“Where is Wonder Woman?” Zatanna asked then, not seeing her in the room but wanting to be able to confide in one of her peers as well. You wondered that too, but Tina shrugged.

“She will be resting if she took my advice,” she said, which was never a certainty either way. Then you spotted the Amazon and tried not to panic.

“Uh… she’s not resting,” you chimed in, pointing to one of the screens in the lab. It displayed the security feed for the cell where Cheetah was currently being held. Wonder Woman was there too.