Ross wins

Phoebe has a tape measure she found in the house. She pulls it out, and lets it snap back in place. “Come on, don’t be shy. Step up and get your cock measured.”

“You guys go. We’ll save the biggest for last,” Joey says, his bravado sounding more nervous than confident.

Hell. I’m already hard. I step in front of Phoebe. The two other wives flank her sides, anticipating the reveal. I strip off my shirt and toss it to the side.

Phoebe squeals, “Oh a strip tease! I like it.”

Rachel’s eyes are definitely on my body now. I’m not in as good shape as her husband, but I’m confident in my body. I say, “I hate being pants-less with a shirt on. I’m not Winnie-the-Poo.”

“We’re not complaining, hunny bear,” my wife says. She smiles, “Now pull down those pants and show us that penis.” I think she likes showing me off. Letting the other women know that this man is hers.

I do as commanded. I stand proudly with my hands on my hips in a Superman pose. My erection angles out hard and strong from my body. I watch Rachel’s blue eyes widen. Her poker face strains, and she has to cover her mouth with her hand.

Phoebe steps up and touches my dick. “How do we measure this?” She pulls out and lengthens the measure tape against me.

Joey calls out, “You can’t measure from the back like that. Bend his dick down, then measure from the base to his tip.”

“Sounds like you have a lot of experience measuring dicks,” Monica says. “Do you measure yours every week, hoping it will grow?”

Joey grits his teeth, biting back a response, he just mumbles, “Just you wait.”

Luckily I trimmed my pubic hair before this weekend. Rachel puts the metal end against my stomach and pulls out. She looks down at the measurement. She calls the other wives to confirm. “Exactly seven inches.”

Rachel says, “I would’ve never guessed that just by looking at him.”

“It’s because he’s so wide and thick,” explains my wife. “It throws off the perspective.”

Phoebe says, “Now go sit down big boy. We’ll see if your results hold up.” She smacks my bare ass when I turn around. She’s feisty. If I don’t get to pick Rachel, she’ll definitely be fun to fuck.

Ross steps up to the row of wives. His hand is dug into his pants stroking himself. Phoebe gives a pout, “Are our tits not enough for you?” She cups her perk tit, and lifts her pierced nipple skyward. She lowers her head and shoots out her tongue. She flicks her nipple quickly a few times and looks back up at Ross, “Did that help?”

Ross shrugs, “Fuck it. I’m hard enough to fuck, so I’m hard enough to get measured.”

He pulls down his pants to his knees. His long pale cock hangs straight out from his body, perpendicular to the ground. His hand grabs and strokes it. He says, “I get harder obviously, but this should be good enough right?” He looks around to the wives for approval.

Monica shrugs, “It’s up to you. I always thought dicks get bigger when they get hard, so you’re putting yourself at a disadvantage.”

“Measure him,” Rachel says to Phoebe. “He stays the same length whether he’s hard or soft. Even after getting out of the freezing ocean! Like his balls shrank and hid up close to his body, but his dick stayed the same.”

“Interesting,” Phoebe says and measures Ross. The tape pulls out far. “Oh wow. We have a new leader at almost eight inches.”

“That’s a snake between your legs,” Monica says, impressed. I wonder what’s the biggest cock my wife has taken. She’s never given me a number, just that it was much bigger than me.

Ross pulls up his pants, hiding his long cock away. He sits down next to me. I’m totally naked and in second place. And now with Joey stepping up, I might be in last. Luckily last place in this competition still gets me a smoking hot wife.

Surprisingly Joey stands up quietly. He walks to the women and pulls down his pants. His back is too us so I can’t see his dick. He has to hold up his hanging stomach so his wife can get a proper measurement.

Phoebe calls out, “Five and a half inches.”

Monica smirks at Joey, “You have a perfectly average penis size. Nothing to be ashamed of. But I’m curious, did you think our husbands would have below average penises?”

“There was a chance,” Joey says. Quiet and humbled for the first time since I’ve known him.

Rachel hides her face. She doesn’t want to laugh when seeing someone’s penis. That would be rude and humiliating. But she’s drunk, and the context of the situation makes it so funny. The man who’s bragged about his big penis since she met him has by far the smallest penis of the group. Every one of his stories has been an exaggeration or a lie. His wife has just been supportive enough not to call him out.

I look over at Ross, who’s grinning his ass off. Is it because Joey has the smallest dick, or is it because he won and can pick whoever’s wife he wants?