Camera pans to a small prison cell. An inmate dressed in an orange jumpsuit with a teardrop tattoo under his left eye is center stage. He turns to the camera.
“You have stuff. I have stuff too. We all have stuff, even homeless people have stuff, but no one really cares about them. If you’re not a homeless person, you need a place to put your stuff in your home. Even if you are homeless, you should go to IKEA to get things to put your stuff in. You can even buy a home.”

IKEA: The human HabiTrail.

Don’t ask who’s in the meatballs.

Long shot of a Walmart parking lot.

Distorted high pitched computerized voiceover:

Walmart is a place. It is a place that will sell you almost anything for the low price of your soul. Walmart treats it’s employees very well, and pays them in a wage that ensures they will always be able to shop at Walmart. Come work for Walmart.

Walmart: We own you.

An electric sports car drives over desert dunes. Nothing resembling civilization is anywhere in view.

Voiceover is a giggling maniacal high pitched male:

”Tesla’s electric cars are the way of the future. No more will we leave our muddy carbon footprints all over the roadways thanks to these miracles of modern engineering, which no one but the upper one percent of the populace of any country can afford.”

Tesla was founded by a sociopath who is completely divorced from reality, and yet is afraid to get into a boxing ring with Mickey Rourke. Tesla: Elon Musk is the real world Green Goblin.

Long shot of an Amazon DC

”You can get anything from Amazon. Whether you’re looking for a book on blowing shit up or a weekly delivery of 85 lbs. of marshmallows, you can get it all from Amazon. “

Delivery driver urinating in an antifreeze bottle, then carrying a box containing 85lbs. Of marshmallow.

”They even sell a bottle of something called ‘Liquid Ass’”

Image of a hairy white ass.

”They also treat their employees like their own children.”

Close-up of a small Asian child crying.

“If their children were small Indonesians who have gone blind working in a sweatshop. “

Pan back to reveal the same child working feverishly to remove the stitches that he has sown his fingers together with while numerous pieces of leather bearing the ‘Nike’ logo roll by on a conveyor belt.

”ALL HAIL DOOM…er… Beezos!”