Philosophical Quandaries

During the break:
“Damn, Bob… You seriously looked like this?”

“Well, not quite, kid. Seems like they picked and chose when they were rebuilding me. I still had my hair until my first divorce, and I haven’t been this cut since Senior Year of high school.”

Kayla turns to stare at Kathy Jo. “And you let that get away?”

“I was young. He was… I dunno… too nice!”

“Ladies, as much as I can understand the desire to bicker, let’s save this for the camera… now.”

Long shot zooming in on Heidi’s face. “Welcome back! Now for tonight’s last segment! We’re going to go around the room and find out the real reason all of our lovely contestants are here.”

“I thought it was because at some point or another I was attracted to them, Heidi.”

“Well, yes, Bob, but that’s only the first requirement. If we’d grabbed everyone you’d ever found attractive over the years we would have had to go with my first idea for a venue, and you don’t like golf. No, each of our contestants is harboring a secret desire that coming here and possibly winning will make achievable. Some of those desires are secret even from themselves.” Heidi winks at the camera. “Now, to kill two birds with one stone, we’ll go in the order of our bed warming rotation. Kayla? Why don’t you tell us what brings you to Harem Hotel?”

Kayla looks confused, that confusion growing as she opens her mouth to speak. “My home life is awful. My brother is going to jail for **** with a deadly weapon and I make more money as an untipped dining assistant than my mother does working in an office, and she drinks her paychecks. My money is the only thing keeping my family in low income housing, and has been for the last four years, which is why I dropped out of school.” This all comes spilling out and as she speaks tears form in her eyes. “I’ve suffered from anxiety attacks since I was sexually assaulted at the age of ten by my deadbeat father’s new girlfriend.” The tears are now pouring down her face, streaking her makeup.

Camera pans to Bob, who has a horrified look on his face. It’s obvious that he wants to comfort her. “I seek validation by being a flirt and a tease, but what I really want is someone to take care of me for a change.”

“Thank you, Kayla. Now, who’s next? Ah, yes, Cassie.”

After witnessing Kayla’s outburst, Cassie just shakes her head warily, but despite her best efforts she begins to reveal her secrets as well. “My relationship with my fiancé is a sham. He’s gay, and I’m his beard for his religious right wing family. We’ve know. Each other for decades, and he’s my best friend, but the only lover I’ve known for the past ten years has been my vibrator. I’m only still with him because I don’t want to cause him the pain of having to come out to his family.” Cassie is red faced by the end of this. “I want to escape what I see as a sexless future. I want someone to want to touch me. I want to stop living a lie.”

“Girl, believe me, I feel you.” Darlene’s interjection is heartfelt, and she’s clearly been touched by this.

“Thank you Cassie, doesn’t it feel good to let that all out? And Darlene, I’m so glad you sympathize with Cassie’s plight because you’re next.”

Darlene chuckles. “That’s easy. I’ve been in love with Bobby since I was ten and my biggest regret is that I never told him.”

“Well! At least there’s one person I don’t have to drag it out of. Morgan?”

“My grandmother has rapid onset dementia. None of my siblings or cousins seem to give a shit.” Morgan’s answers are staccato, coming at a rapid fire almost mechanical pace. “My mom and aunts only cry. I don’t know how we’re going to afford her continued care, but more than that I don’t want to have to watch her decline.”

“Honorable intentions. Kathy Jo?”

Honestly not knowing what’s going to come out of her mouth, but clearly dreading it, Kathy Jo clamps her hands over the potentially offending orifice, only to find that those same hands are pulled by unseen forces to the arms of her chair. With terror in her eyes she begins to speak.

“I’ve made a mess of my life. I never had a plan. I was never smart. I’ve lived my life solely for pleasure. The man I married, Tony, is a waste of space with no ambition, currently doing a minimum of ten years in Western Penitentiary for his most recent get rich quick scheme. I’ve burnt through all my savings, live in a rundown trailer that I’m probably going to lose, and the only way I can get through a day is in a haze of OxyContin and marijuana.” As she speaks she tears up, openly crying by the time she gets to her revelation of **** ****. “I’m useless! I’ve never done anything good in my life and what I have done has always been motivated by taking the easiest path. I’ve manipulated everyone that’s ever cared about me. I want to take it all back and start over! And I’m afraid I have lung cancer…”

KJ trails off into audible sobs, ugly crying there in her chair.

“Self-revelation can be hard, but is often good for the soul. Or leads to suicide. Alicia, are you ready?”

“I think I’m beginning to understand what’s going on, Heidi, and I’m self aware enough to know why I’m here. I’ve started experiencing the first tremors of Parkinson’s Disease. At first I thought the stiffness was just a side effect of the car accident but I watched my mother slowly become a prisoner in her own body, and I know what to look for.” Alicia’s recitation is calm, relaxed, but her eyes have a resigned look. “And I’m alone. I have no one to look after me when I finally can’t take care of myself. I don’t know if the Parkinson’s gene is still with me now that you’ve turned back the clock, but even if it is, I’ve already gotten my wish. I want more time, and I want to be able to share that time with someone.”

It’s Heidi’s turn to sniffle a little at this soul baring. “Thank you, Alicia. It’s clear that you’ve thought this out. Finally Robin. Why are you here?”

Robin has been quietly watching and listening. They haven’t spoken a word since their capture, and have worn a rather enigmatic smile the entire time. “I’m bored.” It’s hard to describe the voice that comes out of them. Not deep enough to be masculine, not high enough to be feminine. Breathy and sexually charged but also light and cheerful. “Life is dull. I’ve spent what time I have seeking experience, and believing that magic might be just around the corner, but always been disappointed when everything ends up mundane. I’m actually looking forward to this.”

“That’s wonderful! It’s always nice to see someone who’s going to go with the program.” Heidi stands up. “Now, all that’s left is room assignments and letting you and our audience in on the schedule.”

She turns and the camera focuses in on her. “It’s a tradition on Harem Hotel to pair off our contestants for their rooms, and that’s one tradition we’ll be following. Room assignments are as follows. KJ and Alicia. Cassie and Morgan. Kayla and Darlene.”

“What about me?” Robin still has a little grin on their face.

“Oh, you’ll be rooming with me, dear, but don’t think that gives you an advantage.” Heidi’s eyes twinkle. “I’m not easy to live with. Bob, you’ll be occupying the master suite, and tonight is the last night you’ll ever involuntarily spend alone. That’s right, it’s been a long and stressful day for everyone. No one will be with Bob tonight. That will start tomorrow with our first challenge!”

Reactions are mixed throughout the group as the camera does an eight-way split screen showing everyone’s faces. “Starting tomorrow each of you will have a full day with Bob. Do whatever you want with your day, but I would advise you to keep in mind that our audience will be watching. At the end of the week, they’ll get to decide on your first real transformations. This will be a chance to really get to know your Master and because of this there will be no elimination this week.”

The camera zooms on Heidi. “And with that, I bid our lovely audience auf wiedersehen. We’ll see you next time on Harem Hotel!”

Credits begin to roll.