Normality Rings

"Can I try those?" I asked, pointing at the rings. The clerk looked at me skeptically, no doubt figuring I was just a browser, but either he was bored or just didn't care, so he shrugged and pulled them out of the case. I noticed it was an unlocked case, so none of this must be particularly valuable anyway.

The rings were both stylized. The gold one had a Scottish gnotwork pattern on the outside. The silver one had what looked like Asiatic dragon motif. Neither was particularly noteworthy. And upon picking them up, I realized neither was particularity metal either. The damn things must be some kind of plastic! Not a kind I recognized, but still completely chinsey feeling. I was already committed, though, so I slipped one onto the ring finger of each hand. At least they seemed to fit well.

"You gonna buy something kid?" the clerk asked. "Or are ya just looking?"

"Meh," I replied. "None of this looks that good anyway." I turned to leave. As I headed out, I had this nagging feeling I had forgotten something.

"Watch it you idiot!" I yelled, as I jumped back onto the sidewalk. I can't believe this, that guy almost hit me! And he just kept going like it was fine. Jerk.

"You ok?" a female voice asked.

"I'm fine," I replied, turning to look at her. My friend Mary was standing by the crosswalk. We often crossed paths here, since it was midway between our respective homes and the campus, and the traffic was bad enough that you had to wait for a bit till an opening appeared. Today her long red hair hung loose, draped over her black t-shirt. As was her usual style, she had on exercise pants, which she maintained were more comfortable. 'Why should I wear jeans if I don't have to?' was her usual reply.

"Jerk almost ran me over," I continued. "I've crossed this intersection a hundred times and no one has ever driven like that maniac." Mary looked surprisingly blase, given she had nearly watched me get mowed down in front of her, and on the very street we both needed to cross.

"Maybe he didn't see you?" she replied with a shrug.

"It's the middle of the day, and it's a pedestrian crossing," I replied. "Jerk had to have been drunk or something to miss me," I said, noticing that the traffic had cleared. Shaking it off, I decided to change the topic. "Is anything wrong? Did you have class or something?"

"Yup. I'm actually late," she replied, still making no move to break off the conversation, which was a bit surprising. This wouldn't be the first time I had run into her when she was late, and usually she would have taken off running as soon as the street cleared.

I was about to reply when someone slammed into me from behind, and I went sprawling, taking her down with me.

"Are you ok?" I asked... Then realized that I had landed with one hand on the ground, and the other firmly planted on her right breast. "Oh god, I'm sorry," I said, quickly pulling back. I braced for the inevitable screaming and/or hitting. I had seen her light into people who tried to make passes at her at parties, and it was not a pretty sight.

"I'm fine," she said, in response to my earlier question. She held out a hand, and I grabbed it and helped her up. "Don't worry about it," she added, brushing herself off. I was uncomfortably conscious of her boobs shifting in her top with the motion.

I blinked. I was glad she was taking this so well, but this was not the reaction I had been expecting. I figured I should get out of here before I made an even bigger fool of myself. "Well, see ya round," I said, lamely, heading off quickly down the road. I wanted to put as much distance between us as I could, before she changed her mind. My best guess was that she was half asleep or hung over from partying, though she didn't look it.

Unfortunately, it turned out she was going the same way, and we ended up awkwardly walking together. After a couple minutes of awkward silence and a further two turns that we both had to take, I couldn't take it anymore. How unlucky could I be? "Look, I'm sorry about the... touching back there. It wasn't intentional."

"I know. I saw you get knocked over," she replied conversationally. "It's really no big deal."

"You're taking this awfully well," I replied. "Most girls I know would have freaked out and started yelling . I've seen YOU freak out and cry over less."

"Yeah probably," she said quizzically. "I know you didn't do it on purpose, though. It's not like you have a lot of control over where your hands land when you get knocked over like that. It's normal for there to be accidents when you're falling over," she added, giving me a light punch in the arm. "Do you think I'm going to bite your head off over something like this? Am I really that bad?" she joked.

"No, not 'bad'," I replied, throwing out air quotes. "Although I have heard horror stories from some guys who accidentally brushed against you on the dance floor..." I began, but she looked at me crosswise and I backed off. "I just wish it were normal for girls to take a 'greeting' like that, well, like you are now. Would have saved me a lot of embarrassment over the years. Still, can I make it up to you? Maybe lunch... or something," I petered out, realizing too late that I was turning an accidental groping into an excuse to ask her on a date. She was actually pretty hot, slim with a nice butt and nice handfuls for tits, as I had found out, and I admit that when I had first met her, I had introduced myself with the intention of asking her out. I was actually kind of glad that I hadn't gotten around to it and we ended up friends, though, since I never talked to any of my ex-girlfriends. "I mean, I can at least get you latte or something in exchange for feeling you up," I said, trying to back out, then I realized what I had said.

"You think I'm that easy?" she asked, looking at me crosswise. She couldn't hold, it, though, and began to crack up. "Ok," she replied. "How about over here? I love this shop, and actually my class is over by now anyway. I was running for the last few minutes when we ran into each other. Do you need to be anywhere?"

I actually did need to get to work, but instead I said "Oh, uh, sure, I can get a quick drink," turning with her into the cafe.

"I'll take an iced green tea," she added, as we had by now reached the bored looking barista, the shop not being heavily occupied. I ordered a chai ice as well. I began to sip it, then almost chocked. Across the room, I watched as a stacked blonde waved over a guy. He walked up to the table, reached down and groped her through her shirt as they exchanged greetings. Another guy at the same table didn't react at all, even though judging by how they were holding hands, I would guess she was at least his girlfriend. I turned back to ask Mary what the hell, only to find her being groped by a guy I didn't know. He gave her several good kneads, and she even gasped a little in pleasure.

"Hi, David," she said. "Grab a chair. This is my friend Nick," she added, indicating me.

"Ummm, hi," I said lamely.