Normality One Piece

“PIRATES!”

“KYAAAAAAAA!”

“Take them for all they got!”

This? This is an everyday thing for me, not the specific situation of raiding a ship; we get those every other week. No, I mean the yelling, it doesn’t matter who, I just know yelling like it is another word for existing.

After all, my fat bitch of a captain is really-

“TSUJO! KOBY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Speak of the freaking diabetic devil.

I looked to the left of me, as Koby, poor kid, got the brunt of the attack from the obese woman.

Oh sorry, you want an explanation don’t you?

Well I’m nineteen years old and to become the cabin boy of a pirate crew, led by Alvida. It wasn’t anything much dramatic, I lived by myself on an island a little way off from a port because I don’t want to pay rent, Alvida and her crew found me, caught me, and now I work for them, and Koby was just an unlucky fisher.

Whoopee.

And here I am, holding onto a rope that I’m supposed to swing across on and board the ship, officially making me a criminal, just dandy.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate rich pricks like the ones we’re invading as much as the next guy, heck, if another pirate crew had asked, I would have probably done it, and the idea of becoming one is kind of badass.

Screw Marines, I never see those guys getting laid or having any fun, except in the sappy romance novels where good wins and all that. Yo ho ho and a pirates life all the way.

But you try to keep that image when you’re the entire crew’s whipping boy, all the while cruising on a PINK ship that has a Swan on the front, goodbye any fantasies you will have of the rugged outlaw badass.

“Then get your ass in GEAR!”

PUNT!

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

I watched as the pinked haired kid was then kicked across the gap between the boats and crashed on the other end; I craned my neck back beside me, where my captain was giving me the evil eye…

“…I’ll be going now” I quickly say, as I ran over the edge and quickly swung over, between being recognized as a pirate and being crushed by that spiked mace, I would gladly get a poster.

I thudded on the wooden boards of the ship, and from well learned experience, scurried away from my captain’s blast zone, not a moment later, I feel the ship shake and hear carnage from behind me. I just put it in the back of my mind and went into the lower decks.

If I’m lucky, I can find the kitchens and get a decent meal before captain piggy can find out.

After searching for the fucking kitchen for a few minutes, I in fact came across several rooms that the rich people must have lived in, I peeked in a few, not finding any inside, before I came across a particular one.

It was a couples room, hardly different from the others, but what caught my eye was a brightly coloured gift sitting on the dresser, my curiously peeked, I walked over to the present and tore open the wrapping, inside was a jewellery box, with a letter saying love, forever blah, blah please don’t divorce me is all I got from it.

I opened the think, and as expected, enough gold and silver to blind the regular man. I huffed at the typical present and was about to shut it, before a particular set caught my eye, I put my hand into the box and dragged them out for inspection.

They were, in one word, tacky, they seemed to be gold but even I could tell it was not real, a pair of earrings that were both shaped as capital N’s. It was so out of place from the expensive gung that it made me focus on it.

If the guy was buying this for his lady friend, I can see why they are having trouble.

But then I gave them a second thought, they were tacky and cheap looking, yes, but that actually was good in a way, if the others in the crew say me with these, they wouldn’t really care for them, after all, they look like plastic.

I might not be a guy who’s big for jewellery, but when you become an underprivileged chore boy who works in the same clothes he was kidnapped for a good year, you would want anything to belong to you, no matter how gaudy they seem.

I clipped the two accessories on both of my ears and walked out the room.

The kitchen has got to be around here somewhere.

I had a good memory, so I wasn’t going to the same place twice; I’ve got to strike gold sometime or another. I wonder what those rich folks have for food. Lobster, some fancy meat, oh great, I’m drooling at the thought, living so long off mouldy cheese and stale bread is really making me weak to something actually cooked.

I then stopped, and then side stepped out of the way as two screaming crew mates of mine ran by while they were dragging another behind them, I blinked a little, okay, not exactly the weirdest thing I’ve seen, but certainly more surprising.

I looked in the direction they went, from the looks of it… that had to be the kitchen; I could spy a roll of cheese just peeking out from the doorframe, but do I really want to go in there?

Okay, two possible outcomes, I simply go back to the ship, live off my bread and cheese for a while longer, or I go in the kitchen, and face something that would have mean pirates shitting their pants over…

*Grumble*

Well there goes making this choice easy.