No she’s sexually frustrated and mad as hell

Ross leads me into his bedroom.

Rachel asks, “What was that?” Then she’s me. She yells, “What the hell!?” And yanks the blanket up to neck covering her body. She glares at her husband, “You should’ve let me know another man was coming into our room.”

Ross shrugs, “You showed your tits to him earlier tonight. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to see you in bed.”

Rachel’s face blazes, “That was a totally different circumstance. That part of the night is way over!” She looks at me, “Sorry Chandler but I don’t think it’s appropriate that you’re in here.”

I move to leave, thankful for such an easy out. Ross quickly snags my arm and holds me in the room. Not so fast. He looks to his wife, “I’m sorry dear. It will be fast. Chandler just needs to apologize for interrupting our night.”

Her eyes dart to me, the sexual frustration shimmering out of them, “That was you in the crash outside!? What were you doing!?”

Oh fuck. Ruin a woman’s orgasm and she’s going to hate you for life. I can’t have her wraith directed at me. I lie.

“Phoebe climbed onto the log pile outside and told me to chase her. I followed her and the whole thing came down. It made a ton of noise, and we got a few bumps and bruises but everything is all right. Ross told me I ruined an intimate moment with his wife and that I needed to apologize.”

Her steel gaze flicks to her husband, “You told him we were having an intimate moment!? What the hell Ross!?”

He staggers, “You just told everyone explicitly how I went down for you for an hour in Chicago, and now you’re freaking out that I used the phrase ‘intimate moment’.”

“I’m freaking out because you brought your friend into our bedroom, when I’m not wearing pants and the whole room smells like my vagina!!”

“Relax! It’s not that big of a deal,” Ross says. “You’re acting crazy.”

Her eyes widen and she bares her clenched teeth.

Nice my lie worked and diverted the angry. Now time to back out of the room. I slowly take a step back.

Rachel yells at me, “Don’t go anywhere Chandler. If my husband wants to see crazy, I’ll show him crazy.”