Lauren has passed on

"Well, Francine, you were supposed to put those documents on my desk this morning!" Lauren barked into her phone as she walked down the street, shoving passers by while dressed in her business suit with and wearing her spanx, girdle, and padded undergarments. Right now, the twenty-three year old junior executive was chewing out one of her underlings, not paying attention to her surroundings.

"I don't care if your little brat broke her leg during her soccer game! 'This morning' means 'This morning'!" Lauren continued her rant, walking past a group of people who were waiting at a crosswalk. "You made me look like an incompetent moron in front of Mr. Charleston today! You know what?! Don't bother coming in tomorrow, Bitch! YOU'RE FIRED!"

Lauren growled in a mixture of anger and annoyance as she hung up the phone, pausing for a minute to put the phone back into her jacket pocket.

*HONK!* *HONK!*

Lauren's eyes widened as she looked up, finally realizing two things. One, she was now in the middle of a busy street during a green light. And two, as she looked to the left, she saw a bus desperately trying to screech to a halt before...

Lauren's world went completely black.

A few seconds later, Lauren groaned as she sat up, her surroundings seemingly glowing a bright white. "Where am I...?"

"Hello, My Child."

Lauren spun her head around to see a beautiful woman with flowing brown hair smiling warmly down at her as she stood before a podium and a golden gate. She was dressed like she was about to attend a Halloween party with her white robe, halo, and admittedly realistic wings.

"My name is Sarah, Little One." The woman said as she helped Lauren to her feet. "Welcome to The Great Beyond."

"'The Great' huh?!" Lauren asked, "What the hell is going on?!"

"I don't know where you learned those type of words in the living world, Sweetheart, but that's a Big No-No here in Heaven." Sarah said stern, despite the smile on her face. Her smile became a little sadder as she added, "It's really heartbreaking when we get poor souls your age here at The Gates. But don't you worry! We have toys, and games, and all the sweets you can eat without getting a tummy ache or cavities."

"Okay, what are you blabbering -" Lauren said as she put her hands on her hips. However, she stopped immediately when she felt a distinct lack of fabric. Looking down, she squealed in horror as she was greeted by her naked body. Her pathetically flat chest and small breasts, her shaved womanhood, her short and stumpy legs, her wide hips, her massive ass, her little paunch, her pale and freckled skin. She was freaking naked!

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Lauren snapped as she crossed her legs and slapped both hands over her tiny breasts, blushing in mortification.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of for a girl your age, Dear." Sarah said as she innocently patted Lauren's head. "You'll soon be given a robe to conceal your nudity, but we do not judge appearances here in Heaven, My Child. You may not be able to grow up, anymore, but you can still enjoy the wonders of childhood forever."

"I'm twenty-three, you idiot!" Lauren snapped.

Sarah remained quiet for a few seconds, looking Lauren's body over a few more times with a shocked expression. She then gave off a sheepish laugh and blushed. "Forgive me, Ma'am." She apologized awkwardly, "Terribly sorry. It's just that, well, clothes and other worldly possessions can't be brought into Heaven, and when I saw you, I thought..."

"Yeah, yeah. I bet that's what -" Lauren began, only for her brain to finally catch up with something as her eyes widened. "I... I-I'm sorry. Did you say 'Heaven' those past few times?"

"I did, yes." Sarah replied, "These are The Golden Gates, and I'm the Gatekeeper since the retirement of St. Peter."

"I... You're not pulling my leg here?" Lauren stammered, "I... I'm dead?!"

"It's always the hardest for The Recently Deceased to move on emotionally." Sarah sad sadly as she pressed a button on her podium, causing a colossal bookshelf to appear out of nowhere, startling Lauren. Sarah then turned to Lauren and asked, "Name please?"

"L-Lauren Adkins."

Spreading her wings, Sarah flew up to the top shelf and hovered in the air, running her finger along the spine of each book. "Let's see... 'Adams', 'Adel', 'Adger'... Here we go! 'Adkins, Lauren'."

Sarah then flew down and landed behind the podium, opening it up and flipping through the pages. "Let's see, it says here you..." Her eyes widened in surprise, "Oh my."

"W-what?!" Lauren asked.

"Lying to everybody about your body. Bullying your sister. Torturing a poor boy named Dennis in high school and giving him a horrible nickname. And just this afternoon before your demise, you fired a struggling single mother who's daughter broke her leg in a soccer match." Sarah listed, looking over at Lauren. "And this is only Page One! With a track record like this, I'm afraid I simply can't let you into Heaven."

"Hey! You said you didn't judge up here!"

"We don't judge appearances, Ms. Adkins." Sarah explained, "We do, however, judge your character. And judging by your character, I'm afraid your going to The Bad Place. You know," she pointed downwards, "down there."

"L-let's talk about this!" Lauren stammered fearfully, not wanting to end up there. If she were dead, she didn't want her afterlife to be filled with torment and misery. "Surely there's got to be something I can do to get in!"

"Well..." Sarah began, "We don't normally do this, but we do offer a redemption deal..."

"What'll I have to do?!"

"All you have to do is take your Life Book here," Sarah explained as she gestured to the book in her hands, "and make amends with everyone you've wronged within one week. If they forgive you, all your wrongs will be scrubbed clean from the book as if they were never there in the first place. However, I should warn -"

"I'll do it!" Lauren said as she grabbed the Life Book from Sarah's hands.

"That's nice, but when you go back, you won't be able to -"

"I'll just put on my ol' Lauren Adkins charm, and they'll practically be begging me to accept my apologies."

"Listen please! There's a reason not a lot of people choose this option. Anytime that you put any clothes on -"

"Hey! Just make with the Holy Magic, or whatever, and send me back down there so I can get this over with, okay?!"

Sarah merely sighed, shaking her head as she snapped her fingers causing Lauren and her Life Book to disappear in a puff of smoke. "On second thought, maybe the inability to wear clothes for a week might be good for you..."