Jeff, A College Student In Over His Head

A knock from the front door of Jeff's apartment door broke him from his trance. "Damn it," he thought, "this is supposed to be my free time."Sighing as he paused the porn video playing on his laptop and getting out of his chair, he slid the thoroughly-lubed sleeve off his slick, six-inch cock and set it carefully down on its side on his desk. Already starting to lose his erection, he grabbed the towel from his bed and quickly threw it around his waist, ready to excuse his way through whatever awkward conversation could await him at the door. As he left his room, he made sure to completely close the door behind him. Sure, his roommate wasn't home these next three days, having gone back home for a family emergency and all, but it was a of habit.

Running his lines in his head, he unlocked the front door and opened it a crack to peek out. Curiously enough, nobody was outside. Looking down, he noticed the parcel left behind by whatever courier service had just interrupted him, and he brought his heel out to slide it inside as he closed and re-locked the door. Bending over, he grabbed it and inspected the shipping label. Hmm. Another generic, bland company name. Those sure were getting familiar nowadays, he mused to himself as he returned to his bedroom. With a sigh, he set the box on the bed and looked at the shelves between it and his desk.

Whatever it was, it meant a whole new article now had to be queued up. Two years ago, he had started writing sex-toy reviews for his own blog, and the depth he went to in his writeups, along with photos and videos that always seemed to get more views than the rest of the article itself, had meant that he slowly started building up a stable of affiliates and partnerships. In the last month alone, he had been sent seven different products to test, with today's package upping that to eight. Cutting the box open to add it to the shelf, he was surprised by just how basic the contents were.

Usually, it seemed like the companies tried to appeal with visuals, either drawn or photographic, typically of women in various states of undress to titillate the customer. Unnecessary packaging, sure, but if it helped sell a pocket pussy, who was he to judge? Inside this box, though, was a pamphlet and a single pump-bottle of lotion, plainly labeled "Auto-Masturbation Lotion" in a very sterile, simple font. Quietly, he read the pamphlet aloud to himself.

"For Women:

Thoroughly apply the lotion to your vagina both inside and out. After about 30 seconds you should notice a significant increase in your libido as your vagina begins to masturbate itself. You can also apply the lotion to your breasts as well.

For Men:

Thoroughly apply the lotion to your penis (testicles optional) starting with the base of the shaft all the way to the head. After about 30 seconds you should notice a significant increase in your libido as your penis begins to erect and masturbate itself.

Warning:

This product is not fully tested. The effects of this product could last between 30 minutes and 24 hours. Use at your own risk."

Jeff's eyes narrowed and he cocked his head. Did... he even remember agreeing to this? He must've, the emails all seemed to blur together lately. His semi-flaccid cock seemed to bob in agreement below, and he took a step towards the shelf to set it aside with the others in the queue before he shot one last glance at the sleeve sitting on his desk, a thin, clear dribble of lube now coming out of the realistically-molded labia on the front of it. This "Auto-Masturbation Lotion"... it could wait, couldn't it?