Head for a coffee

You consider your power as you walk across campus. You start to formulate pairs of questions that could you get a desired result faster and have more fun. You see two preppy frat boys lusting at some hot girl in yoga pants. As you pass by them, you ask, "Would you two rather take turns kicking each other in the balls as hard as you can or spend the next six months wearing women's underwear?"

"What the fuck is your problem?" asks one before saying. "Kick in the balls."

"Yeah, me too," says the other. They then turn and face each other. One kicks the other in the crotch, sending his friend writing to ground in pain.

"Dude, I'm sorry!" says the kicker, who will get his turn soon.

You walk on to the campus coffee shop. You order a black coffee, and when the barista puts it on the counter, you say "Would you rather let me have this for free or pour it down your pants?"

"Give it to you for free," said the confused barista. "Here, take it."

You take it and walk it to the table where the sugar, sweetener, and creamers are. You adds a pack of raw cane sugar, stir it then look around. You spot an attractive brunette reading by herself at a table. She has on nerdy glasses and a long, loose fitting black sweater, but has a nose ring, and you can spot part of a tattoo under a sleeve, so she is a mix of nerdy and edgy.

You walk up to her. "Excuse me, may I ask a question."

She looks up from her book and sighs. "Yeah, whatever."

"Would you rather me join you, or would you rather strip naked right here?"

"You join me of course, but what kind of stupid question is that?"

You stand there and smile.

"Well, are you going to join me?" she asks, not really sure why she is playing along.

You sit down. "Now would you rather calmly answer all of my questions or spend a week buried up to your neck in horse manure?"

"Come on, really?" she asked. "I'd rather answer your questions. Now what is this about?"

"What is your name?"

"Erica."

"Don't worry too much, Erica," you say. You realize you can easily manipulate someone if one of your options is utterly ridiculous or repugnant compared to the other. "Now, Erica, would you rather do your best to seduce me, or would you rather have to shove ten foot long hot dogs up your ass?"

The brunette looks shocked for a second, but then she smiles and licks her lips. She slides her glasses down a bit and looks over the top of them. You feel the toe of her shoe run up your shin. "I'd rather seduce you," she says.

Your smile gets bigger and you lean forward.

Suddenly, a shrill female voice comes from behind you ."Oh my god, Erica! Is that you?!"

The brunette's sultry look leaves her face and she looks up over your shoulder.

You turn and look up and see cute, petite girl with curly red hair standing there. She is wearing a red and blue plaid knee-length skirt, a white blouse, a red sweater vest, and shiny leather black flats with white lace-top socks. "Oh my god, I haven't seen you since high school!"

"What the fuck?" you mutter to yourself, not welcoming this interruption.