Clarify what he said

Joey sits down indenting the bed next to my bent over wife. He rests his hand on her big ass. His large stomach balloons as he tries to catch his breath.

I ask, “What did you just say? About my wife being tighter than you remember.”

He sobers up after the intoxication of my wife’s pussy. He fumbles with words, “Uh what did I say? I uh I don’t think I uh said that.”

Phoebe cackles on the bed, “Oh my god! You never knew!”

“Never knew what?” Rachel asks for me. She heard what Joey said. Her husband heard. It wasn’t just me.

“Joey has fucked Monica before!” Phoebe acts like this is the funniest fucking thing she’s ever heard before. The way she’s laughing pisses me off. This isn’t funny.

A loud slap on Joey’s bare back hooks my attention.

Monica growls, “You fucking told your wife!?”

She hits him again. Hard to enough for the big man to flee the bed. He rubs the sting of the slap. He whines, “She’s my wife. I tell her everything.”

I’m fucking shell shocked. My wife has fucked one of my best friends.

“When?”

They don’t hear me over the commotion happening in the room now: Phoebe’s laughing, Monica’s scolding, Joey whining, Ross and Rachel’s confusion.

I yell, “WHEN!?”

The room quiets at my anger.

Nobody answers my question. I stare at my wife, “When did you two fuck?

My wife is drunk and naked. She can’t hide her embarrassment. She says, “It was before we had started dating. It wasn’t anything. We went on one awful date, then a week later I sent a very regrettable drunk text. He came over and we hooked up. I really don’t remember it. When you and I started dating, Joey and I agreed that it would be best to never tell you.”

“Yeah,” Joey adds. “It was only that one time. You guys haven’t even gone on a date yet.”

“Tell me what happened,” I say.

Monica says, “I just told you what happened.”

“I want to know everything.”

Phoebe adds, “Me too! Joey has told me zero details: only that you had hooked up.”

Monica says, “Fine. I’ll tell you but like I said it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t even remember that we hooked up.”

“Joey can fill in those details,” I say. “You’ve kept this hidden long enough. Tell us what happened.”