Monica’s date with Joey

Monica pulls on some clothes to hide her nakedness while she tells her story.

“So Chandler and I met at a baseball game, and he invited me to one the next day. I thought it was a date. It wasn’t a date. Chandler brought some girl he had been banging. But he also brought a friend who was tall and handsome enough. The friend was Joey: just a more fit and beardless Joey.”

She glances at Joey, who has done nothing to hide his nakedness. Maybe she’s remembering him how to used to look.

“Well he flirted with me from the first inning. He was sort of funny but mostly obnoxious. But he did pay for one of my beers which was nice. When the game was over, he asked for my number. I figured I’d give it to him since I didn’t have a chance with Chandler.

“Within a week, I agreed to a date with him. We went to some Fourth of July carnival. Things were going okay until we passed a ‘Guess Your Weight’ game which I had absolutely no interest in. Joey made an obscene joke to the teenage girl working the game: ‘Bet you can’t guess how long my dick is.’

“Surprisingly the girl played along, probably used to creepy men hitting on her, ‘Sorry sir, my scale doesn’t measure that.’

“He stopped and said, ‘I’ll tell my size to the girl right here, and if you guess that same number then you can have my money.’

“Before the girl agreed he bent down and whispered in my ear, ‘Just a tat over nine inches.’

“I couldn’t believe he would tell me that. I didn’t care how big his dick was. I thought it was creepy and trashy. From that point on the date had ended for me. I went on a few more rides then called it a night. He didn’t even get a goodbye kiss. Only a hug. I let him know that we’d be better as friends.”

Monica ends her story. Rachel looks disgusted at Joey’s behavior on a first date. But honestly for Joey that’s relatively tame. I’m surprised he didn’t ask the carnival worker if she wanted to go around back and see it.

“Alright, so when did you fuck him,” Phoebe asks.

Monica frowns, “Like I said, I don’t remember fucking him. A week after our date, I went out with some girlfriends downtown. I accidentally got blackout drunk; and I texted him. It’s the only evidence I had the next morning to figure out why my jaw was so sore, and why I had trouble walking.”

I turn to Joey, “Your turn. Tell us all how you fucked my wife when she was blackout drunk.”