Change me back to human right now!

“Yes, thank you for stating the obvious. My question is WHY am I a satyr? Give me back my regular body this moment!”

Felixia scoffs. “Why on earth would you want that? I know it’s considered to be commendable for a member of royalty to show humility, but I just gave you a chance to get rid of your slum shanty and trade up for a mid-luxury condo.”

Duncan looks in vain for something to drape around his waist to hide his blood-engorged boner. “I look ridiculous! And I feel as if my penis is going to explode if I don’t do something about it. Restore my human appearance at once, Felixia!”

The Felechon yawns maddeningly. “Oh, hold your horses. I’ll put you back to your boring old self if that’s what you want. As soon as you deal with your little issue.” She points with her tail toward Duncan’s raging erection.

“What do you mean?”

“Satyrs are notoriously sexual creatures. That’s why you are feeling so aroused right now. I can restore your human form, but your pathetic human anatomy wouldn’t be able to handle the level of hormones that are fizzing through your veins right now. You’re going to have to take care of things in the ol’ stick-and-balls department before I dare return you to your hairless ape-like visage.”

Duncan looks at the creature with astonishment. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“Really? Do I need to give you the Birds and the Bees talk right now? I would have thought you’d know the basic mechanics at your age. Well, basically, you need to find something that you find sexually alluring — and in your present condition, I’m guessing that you’re not going to be particularly picky — and make sweet, passionate love until you are satiated. Or I could get you a magazine and a box of tissues. What sort of pictures turn your fancy? I think I saw a lovely illustrated book in the library about tapeworms and other parasites.”