Ask Wanda

"What else should we change about Ellen, Wanda?" You ask your mother in law.

Wanda giggles and shrugs prettily.

"I dunno!" She admits, twirling a candy apple pigtail around her finger.

"Should we make her hair a pretty color like yours?" You suggest.

"Oh! That'd be neat!" She exclaims.

"What color?" You ask.

"Uuuuuummm..." She ponders, then looks at her own hair. "Red?"

"But if you have the same hair color, how will we tell you apart?" You reason.

"Oh! I didn't think of that!" She exclaims."you're, like, smart and stuff!"

"This is so stupid!" Ellen roared, futilely trying to stand again.

"Wanda is a bit stupid," you say, patting your mother in law affectionately on her left tit. "But she's cute, so people tend to indulge her. Now what's a color that's different than red, you adorable bimbo?"

"Uuuuummmmmm..." She says, crossing her unnaturally big eyes in concentration. "Is it...blue?"

"Blue would be a great hair color for Ellen!" You agree, adjusting the remote. "Don't you think so, Honey?"

"No I do not!" Ellen says. "And don't call me Honey! Leave my hair alone and fix these ridiculous things right now!"

"I don't know, Ellie," you shrug. "Wanda says blue, and mother knows best."

"That is NOT my mother!" Ellen screams as her hair turns an electric blue. A few more tweaks and she has inhumanly-large eyes like her mother, but with pink irises and matching bee stung pink lips.

"See?" You say, grabbing a hand mirror from off Ellen's nightstand so she can see the cartoonish adjustments you've made to her face. "You should trust your mother's judgement!"

"OMG! Is our mom here?" Wanda exclaimed, looking around. "I wanna show her my new titties!"

"You are a complete monster," Ellen says coldly, her anger going from lava to iceberg the way it tends to. "What did you do with Mom? I'm not going to beleive this bimbo you brought in is her, no matter how you try to gaslight me."

"Oh, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie!" You mock. "You just don't realize how handy this little remote can be! Here, let me demonstrate."

You aim the remote at Wanda as she continues to look for Ellen's mother. You place the blue dot on her forehead.

"Hey Wanda! You think you're a chicken!" You tell her.

"Braaaawk, brawk brawk brawk BRAWK!" Wanda agrees, tucking her thumbs in her armpits to make impromptu wings and strutting about the room, clucking and looking for bugs to eat.

"See, Baby Doll? It can change minds as well as bodies!" You say.

Ellen rolls her big pink eyes, unimpressed and unconvinced.

"Ok, fine," you say, targeting your chicken in law again. "Wanda, you need to remember who you really are and everything I've done to you."

The well-endowed chicken freezes mid cluck. Big blue eyes go stormy. Her face attempts to match the color of her hair. She shudders.

"Why you God-forsaken, wicked filth!" Wanda exclaims. "I swear by all that's holy I will cut off your manhood and beat you to **** with it!"

You know you shouldn't laugh, but you can't help but snort at what your mother in law's attitude sounds like coming out of the perverted cartoon you've turned her into. She somehow misses the humor in the situation.

"M...mom?" Ellen says in a small voice, at last realizing that she's barely tasted what you can do with the remote.

"I told you not to marry this bastard, Ellen!" Wanda explodes, turning her anger on her daughter suddenly. "But you didn't listen to me, and look where it got you! Pinned to the floor by your own ridiculous utters!"

"Mom, how could I possibly have known..." Ellen starts defending herself. It's bizarre how normal this argument feels, given the dramatic changes in the participants.

"You could know by listening to your mother, you stupid cow!" Wanda screams and goes to slash at her daughter with the red-lacquered nails you gave her.

You pause her midswipe.

"Wha..." Says Ellen before you pause her as well.

As much as you obviously have some pent up resentment towards these two women in your life, watching them bitch at each other and at you isn't anything you haven't seen many times before, even if it was with a lot fewer naked boobs.

Surely you can come up with something more fun than this...