“I have nothing else to tell you.”

Duncan considered his options. Even though the Felechon was demonstrably mischievous and impertinent, he really had difficulty picturing it as the cataclysmic danger portrayed by MacTavish. Besides, he felt a certain kinship, despite its insults and attempts to goad him. Duncan, too, felt caged for his entire life, and he had been known to rebel with pranks from time to time. Who was he to judge Felixia for doing the same thing?

“No, MacTavish, there’s nothing I need to say,” he replies, looking his teacher squarely in the eyes. “So you say to leave the Felechon along; that’s what I will do. Don’t worry about it.”

MacTavish looks at the prince for some time, as if considering his words carefully. “In that case, Your Highness, there is only one thing for me to do....”

Duncan braces himself for the worst. Instead, he is shocked to see a yellowish-gold mist swirl around MacTavish. When it clears, Duncan sees Felixia standing in his place. “And that is to congratulate you for making the best choice you possibly could!” says Felixia, her voice changing from MacTavish’s gravelly sound to her own through the course of her sentence.

“Felixia? What happened to MacTavish?” Duncan looks around in wonder.

“He’s probably having his morning prune milkshake, for all I know,” she says, purring happily. “I just had to do a little test to see whether you would betray me. I have no idea how you would have done on MacTavish’s test about whatever it is that you’re reading, but as far as my test goes, I give you the highest of passing marks. You have earned your reward!”

“My reward?” Duncan is still a bit dazed about the whole experience.

“Of course your reward. You can have a wish. Now let’s see if I can guess what you’ll wish for.... You’re a human male, so you’ll probably want me to put some kind of a nymphomania spell on some female that you fancy, so you can spend the rest of your days rutting like a centaur in heat. If it isn’t that, you’ll want money — lots of of — presumably so you can buy the love of any woman you want and spend the rest of your days rutting like a centaur in heat. The third most common choice is to have me increase the size of your penis — human males are never satisfied with the size, and frankly, I can’t blame them. This would make you more attractive to the females of your species so you can rut with them like a centaur in heat. The fourth possibility I’m going to tell you right now is a no-no. Forget about wishing for unlimited wishes; it doesn’t work that way. So which one will it be?’

“Wait a minute... So I can wish for anything?” Duncan asks.

“A bit slow on the uptake, aren’t you, Dear? Which word didn’t you understand? Maybe I should choose for you.... I’m guessing you want the giant schlong, right? You’d better undo your pants first, or this could be painful.” Felixia, cracks her knuckles, causing magical sparks to form around her hands.

“Wait a minute! Leave my penis alone!”

“Said no human male ever!” Felixia says in response, but lets the magical sparks subside. “Wow... You are a different type, aren’t you? OK... It’s gonna be the nympho charm. Who are you lusting after? By the way, if it’s your sister, that’s ok... I’m not one to judge about that kind of thing.”

“Stop it. I don’t need you to do anything to improve my sex appeal. I have always done pretty well in that area.”

“Really? Well, there’s no accounting for taste,” Felixia responds, doubtfully.

“And I don’t need money; I’m already wealthy beyond the dreams of Avarice.”

“And you don’t want a bigger penis? Wow... OK... I admit that I’m stumped. I can’t remember anyone asking for anything else. You did hear me about not getting to wish for more wishes, right?” A new thought hits Felixia. “Wait a minute.... I know I look very alluring to you right now, and it’s only natural that you would desire me, but I’m really hoping your wish isn’t to copulate with me. I can make myself your size for a while, and while I am getting a little fond of you, it’s more the way I feel about a pet. I really think I would cough up a hairball if I have to endure you rubbing your bald, naked body all over mine.”

“That’s not my wish either,” says Duncan, although admittedly, he does find the creature strangely seductive.

“What a relief! The last time I had sex with a human, I couldn’t get the smell off for weeks. And after enduring the smell, I still didn’t know whether the poor thing ejaculated or not. You should consider carrying a sign that tells females when you have discharged your human seed; the males of most species have penises that extend when aroused.”

“So do humans,” protested Duncan.

“Of course you do,” says Felixia, with a dismissive laugh. “I’m sure butterflies are quite proud of their endowment, too, but don’t expect me to be able to tell when a butterfly has shot his load. But enough pitter patter.... What do you wish for?”

Duncan thinks. “I honestly do not know. I have everything I need right here.”

“Are you quite sure, Your Royal Highness, the Spare? You know, you could trade places with your brother — or go right to your father’s place right now, if you’d like. No more of being just ‘the spare.’ Or you could forgo all of these responsibilities and be the lord of some vast estate, free to live your life as you please, without the expectations placed on you by your royal birth. Or maybe you’d like to experience life as a magical being — able to live for hundreds of years and do things you’ve only dreamt of. I’m offering all of that to you. And, of course, a bigger penis is still an option, if you’d like it.”