Paladin Simulator

Press Start Game, or this game will make no sense at all! You can skip through to chapter 6 if you are here for the gameplay and not the story

“Our noble order dwindles in number by the year. The better of us die martyrs, granted grace through bloodshed. The lesser of us succumb to vice’s call, and fall from the light. My dearest, your training is complete now, but promise me this - promise me that when you pass on to the next realm, you will do so having left this one a better place.”

Your master’s words echo in your mind as you descend into the valley below. She left that night, leaving no trace of her existence save for a single one of her prayer beads that you now keep strung alongside yours.

As you pick your way through the dense forest, your heavy armour no hindrance, you wonder how your current task comports with that final oath you swore to your master. Who sends a Paladin out to find some lost whore? She must mean a lot to the nobleman that came stumbling in, panting in his sweat-stained silks.

Your ears perk up as you hear a feminine voice calling out, and you move towards the voice, confirming that the trail does lead that way. You approach cautiously, as you’ve been ambushed before by wily captors, and failing this mission would be a terribly embarrassing thing to explain to the townsfolk.

Casting a simple divining spell, you confirm that there is indeed a young lady close by, and, just as importantly, nobody else.

You soon come across the clearing that you have sought for the better part of a day now. The fair-skinned whore has been caught under a fallen tree-branch, and as you view her shapely behind wriggling in the air as she attempts to escape, you feel a pang in your loins. It’s been far too long since you’ve last had a woman, and you can see from her attractive figure just why the nobleman was in such distress.

“Help me! Help me! Oh, thank God that you’re here,” the whore cries out as she sees you. “Please, rescue me! I’m in terrible danger! A bear could come by and eat me!”

“You exaggerate, my lady,” you say. “It would take at least two bears to lift this tree branch up and extract you so that a third may slay you.”

“Then all hope is lost!” the whore wails. “For if two bears could not lift this tree branch, then what hope have you?”

“Fear not, for I am an ordained Paladin of the Holy Order,” you say, flexing an arm in the process. The whore gasps, and you lean in closer, to get a better view of her (and her cleavage). “Could you not tell from the markings on my armor?” The whore shakes her head shamefully. The public education system really does a poor job of preparing the students of today for the workforce of tomorrow. What if this whore had wanted to become a Paladin?

But that is besides the point. The point is that you swore an oath years ago to do good, but now there is an attractive lady before you, free for the taking. You could fuck her right here and now, and nobody would ever be the wiser. Even if the whore were to complain later, who would believe her? It would be her word against a Paladin’s.

But if you did that, you would consign yourself to the path of the fallen. No, you tell yourself, I will be strong and holy. I will not fuck her.

But even as you say so, you find your tool getting harder, pressing against your codpiece in a way that is decidedly unpleasant. A man has desires too, and the whore hasn’t stopped wiggling her ass at you.

Well, the choice is yours. What will you do?

Note: The Holy Path is ‘safer’ and easier to play, but a little bit grinder as a result. This game does not forgive you for dying. You lose if you die and must restart. If you spot a bug or want to discuss strategy, please visit the forum post here: https://forum.chyoa.com/threads/paladin-simulator.2780/