(Chapter I.I) Serve The Holy Path - Rescue Her

You finger your prayer beads, reminding yourself to stay strong. Pleasure may be temporary, but glory is forever. You nod to yourself, as if to make sure that this is what you really want, and then you lean a hand against the tree branch.

“For how many hours have you been trapped beneath this tree branch?” you ask the whore.

“Ten and seven hours, plus fifteen minutes and another seven point six-two seconds, judging by the shadows cast by the sun,” the whore replies. “So I am very hungry and thirsty besides. Would you mind saving me faster?”

“Why of course,” you say. You take a deep breath, and the whore closes her eyes in anticipation. You let out the breath, making a loud “whoosh” noise. You take in another deep breath, and the whore closes her eyes in anticipation, and then let you it out, making a loud “whoosh” noise.

As you take your third deep breath, the whore interrupts you: “Are you going to lift the branch this time or not? Because it’s getting very tiring, closing my eyes each time you breath and make a loud “whoosh” noise.”

“Young wench, I understand our public education system has failed you in many ways, but surely even an uneducated and functionally illiterate person such as yourself must realise that lifting heavy objects requires both proper form and several minutes of dynamic stretching for warm-up?” you respond, placing your hands on your hips and beginning to perform your first set of twenty hip circles.

“Well yes, but can’t you stretch a little faster?” she asks after a few minutes have passed, when you seem to be doing some arcane stretch that involves twisting your arms around your legs.

“Ack!” you say, “You broke my concentration and I appear to have gotten a cramp as a result! Let me just stretch that out.” The whore begins to grumble again, that unreasonable lady, but eventually, you finish your stretches and you stand parallel to the tree trunk.

With a mighty heave and a loud roar, you press against the tree trunk. At first, nothing happens, save for the creaking of your joints (did you stretch enough?), but as you find your faith in the resolute goodness of all that is holy, you feel an explosive surge in strength almost inhuman in nature, and golden light encircles your palms for a brief moment. That strength tips you over the edge, and the tree branch suddenly goes flying across the clearing, crashing into several other trees and tipping them over.

As the trees begin to fall inwards and towards you, you quickly scoop up the whore and begin running away, not wanting the two of you to get trapped under another tree branch.

“My hero, my saviour!” the whore cries out, and you nod to yourself for a job well done.