Free use hotel

You haul your luggage into the hotel lobby. It's only a weekend getaway for just your wife and yourself, so one wheelie suitcase should suffice. Your wife, Jane, booked this trip several months ago, and has been really excited that all the facilities of the hotel are available for you to use for no extra charge.

During the journey there she read some of the literature to you. She listed some of the facilities - a swimming pool, extensive gardens for hotel guests only, hot tubs, a gym, a hotel-exclusive cinema, and much more.

"I think the brochure was translated into English from a foreign language," she remarked, "as some of it doesn't quite make sense. Listen to this: _All male guests have full free use privileges to all the staff and facilities, including all the women guests. _It sounds like it's just the men that have access, and then says including all the women guests so actually it does include everyone, it's just written in a funny way. I wonder what language it's translated from."

"Er, Jane, you do know what free use means, don't you?" you asked.

"Of course. I mean, normally a hotel would use a term like all-inclusive but this brochure keeps saying free-use. You'd think a hotel this size would get a better translator. And the other thing is there are no photos of the rooms themselves. It just says they have a special design that gives every room a 360-degree view. I wonder how that works."

In the lobby a busty young woman in a maid's uniform is standing behind the reception counter. She must be in her early twenties or maybe even late teens, has short blonde hair and bright red lipstick, and greets you with a beaming smile. Her ample cleavage in the frilly black and white frilly uniform accentuates her glorious pearly-white breasts. You try to keep your eyes on her face - at least for now.

"John and Jane Doe," you say when she asks your names. She looks down at a list in front of her, bending over slightly, giving you an even better view down her cleavage as she checks your names off her list.

"Ah, here we are, room 231," she says and turns around to fetch the key and some bits of paper. "We just need you to read and sign these," she says, placing a form each in front of you and Jane. Your form is titled Fair use agreement (male) and you see that Jane's is Fair use agreement (female). Hers is considerably longer and contains a bit more small print.

Reading through your form, it confirms your understanding of "fair use" - that as a male guest, you'll have the right to grope, fuck and generally have your way with any of the females on the premises - staff and guests - as well as having access to all the hotel's facilities. The agreement does require that you stay out of staff-only areas but you are free to enter other guests' rooms. It also requires your express consent that you agree to your wife submitting to free-use by any of the male guests and will not impede their access to her.

"There's a lot of small print here," says Jane, "I'm assuming it's just health and safety stuff, right?"

"Well there's a little more to it than that," answers the receptionist, "let me just make sure you're aware what free-use means."

"It means everything's included, right?" says Jane.

"Sort of, yes," the receptionist replies, hesitantly.

"Well we're here now, I'm sure it's all fine," says Jane and signs the form.