Divine Intervention

My name is John. I'm the kind of person you'd never give a second look if you passed me on the street. Or, well, I used to be. I guess I’m getting ahead of myself here. It all started a few days ago when I decided to take a walk in the woods with my best friend.

Michael and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. We grew up across the street from each other, spent every spare minute together, and have basically been like brothers since we could walk and talk. So when it came time to choose a what we’d do after high school, we obviously chose the same college (No, I won’t tell you which one. The last thing I need right now is someone tracking me down in the real world). Luckily we were both accepted, and we were even able to get assigned as roommates for our freshman year. On the surface everything was going great. There was just one problem.

You see there was a not-so-white lie in my “like brothers” phrasing before. Mike’s loved me like a brother since forever. He’s always been there for me, and I’ve always been there for him. The thing is, this last few months I realized I’ve got a bit more than “brotherly” feelings for Mike. I hadn’t told anybody this, but over the last few years I realized I wasn’t exactly straight. I’m not gay (it probably wouldn’t have taken me so long to realize if I was), but along with the attraction to girls that Mike and I and many males of our species share, I’ve found that I’m just as attracted to guys.

People talk about always having known they were gay or lesbians or whatever. You always see stories about people having known since they were three or something. I wasn’t like that. I was 18 and (as far as I knew) straight as an arrow when I finally figured it out. One day a little more than a month before school ended Mike and I were spending a weekend at the local pool. We’d been there most of the day, and were hurriedly showering before the place closed for the day. Normally we’d take turns showering at one of our houses once we got back, but today we were going out to dinner with our families, so we had to shower in the wide-open public shower at the pool.

I’ve never liked to shower in public. Partly out of shyness, partly because I’m a bit heavier than I probably should be. Anyway, this was the first time that I could remember Mike and I being naked together since we were growing up. And that’s right where, after 18 years, I happened to look at another guy naked and, almost without realizing it, found myself getting hard. Like, really hard. Luckily I had the presence of mind to quickly turn myself away from him so it wouldn’t become immediately obvious to him that I was hilariously turned on. Still, I was stood there realizing that my assumed heterosexuality was suddenly making an “ass” out of Mike and me.

How exactly I managed to finish showering and get dressed while hiding my most insistent erection to date from my best friend I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fully explain, but I spent the rest of the night trying to determine if he had noticed anything odd at the pool. By the end of the night, I was feeling pretty confident that he hadn’t, which meant that once I went to bed that night my full attention had returned to the question I’d been afraid to ask myself all night: aren’t I straight?

I won’t go into too much detail on the rest of the night (trust me, you’ll get more than enough of that in a minute), but suffice it to say I “came” to the determination that while I was still very much interested in women, there definitely appeared to be a penis-shaped weakness in my sexual self-concept that Mike had blown all to hell in that shower. A weakness that became no easier to ignore after moving into a dorm with Mike that fall and spending night after night watching him undress for bed and being greeted morning after morning by the sight of his morning wood making a tent of his sheets.

Fast-forward to that fateful morning, where my life story truly goes off the deep end. Mike had decided that he wanted to try following one of the hiking trails in the woods near our campus, and asked if I wanted to go with him. I contemplated feigning an illness or simply a desire for more sleep (excuses I’d used liberally the past few weeks to buy time to let off some tension built up from the daily reminders of my newfound bisexuality), but whatever my newfound feelings for him, Mike was still my best friend, and I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t interested in spending time with him. I agreed, and a quick breakfast in the student center later I found myself walking a fairly well cleared but surprisingly empty trail through the woods outside campus.

“So, enjoying the walk?” Mike asked as he walked ahead of me.

“Yeah, it’s nice enough. I’m surprised we haven’t seen anyone else out here. I guess most students don’t usually get up before class to take a walk.”

“Yeah, probably not. Judging by the way everyone acts in our early classes, I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of morning people here.”

Mike paused and seemed like he was about to say something, but apparently he felt his phone vibrate since he quickly lost focus and fished it out of his pocket.

“Shit, I didn’t realize how late it is. I’ve got class starting in like fifteen minutes.” He looked at me apologetically. “We should probably head back.”

I started to agree with him, but at that moment I felt the strangest feeling. One second I felt completely normal, and the next I suddenly had to piss like a racehorse. I don’t think I’ve ever had to pee as bad as I did in that instant. Suddenly bouncing in place, I realized I hadn’t answered his last question, and Mike was looking at me expectantly.

“Hey, I guess with the conversation and all I didn’t realize I kinda need to pee really bad.” Somehow the sensation got even worse, and I started to worry I might wet myself right then and there. “I don’t think I can wait till we get back. Go on ahead, I’m gonna duck off the path and take care of business real quick. I’ll catch up to you later.”

Mike, clearly in too much of a hurry to talk about it further merely nodded and started back down the path. Not able to wait any longer, I quickly walked off the path and into the woods far enough that if anyone walked by they shouldn’t be able to see me. Reaching a small clearing, I quickly unzipped and pulled out my penis, but the instant it popped free from my jeans, I suddenly found myself completely unable to move. One second I was dancing around trying not to wet myself and the next I found myself literally unable to move a single muscle as I felt my pants slide down to my ankles without my being able to stop them.

“Sorry about the sudden urinary issue, but I needed to find a way to get you separated from your…friend.”

The voice came from over my left shoulder. As I tried and failed to turn my head to see who was talking to me, the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen walked out from behind me and stood off to my left where, without being able to turn my head, I could just barely see her. The confusion at my paralysis and her sudden appearance quickly gave way to embarrassment as I realized she had a clear view of my exposed penis, still hanging out the front of my pants waiting to release my bladder.

“I’ve been watching you for a few days now, and that conversation with your friend a minute ago convinced me you’re the person I’ve been waiting for.” She walked closer, and then leaned forward until her face was only an inch or two from mine. She looked down to where my penis jutted out my pants. “Let me take care of that for you, so we can get down to business.”

She raised her left hand in front of my face and made some sort of gesture with it, and without my having any say in the matter my penis came to a raging erection, pointing straight out from my body. She smiled, snapped her fingers, and instantly I started pissing like I never have before. She waited while my bladder emptied itself onto the forest floor in front of her, and then looked back up at me.

“Now that’s cleared up, it’s about time I tell you why I brought you out here.” She walked back behind me, appearing again on my right shoulder. “You’re probably wondering what’s going on. Long ago, I made a deal with the first dean of this college to grant his students here success.” She smiled and looked me up and down, and I became aware that my penis was still in its unnatural erect state, and had actually started to dribble precum down onto the ground in front of me. “I’m a sort of god you see. Not the ‘capital g’ kind, just a being of incredible power over the area I call home. Now, even though that dean is long dead, I’m still bound to help the students here for as long as the college continues to exist. And since the moment you set foot on this campus, I haven’t been able to ignore the turmoil I’ve felt in you.”

She put her arm over my shoulder, and spoke directly into my ear. “I know you’ve found yourself dealing with new feelings towards your friend.” She looked down to where my erection was jutting out of my pants. “I can’t explain fully, but I have an offer to make.” She moved around me so her face was in front of mine, moved her hand again, and the muscles in my mouth and jaw came back to life. “All you have to do is say yes, and I’ll grant you the powers you’ll need to come to terms with your new feelings and find happiness.” I can’t explain how, but at that moment I was filled with the certainty that every word she had said was true, and that, somehow, she could do exactly what she said. “So, do we have a deal?”